Page 11 of Monster Whisperer
“I like this one. Shut up, Demos, or you’ll end up in my web.”
“Fuck you, Pavlina. I’ll take out every single one of your eyes before you got a single web on me.”
“Do we have to do this again?”Kimon said.“I’m tired of listening to the two of you go at it. I’d rather listen to baby bird talk.”
“Yes, shut up, Demos. Let the pretty girl talk.”
I heard a splash. Tryphon was out of his pool. Well, as much of him that could fit down the hall. He was pretty fucking massive. As soon as he got close enough, he wrapped a tentacle around my ankle.
“I like the way you feel, pet.”
There was something… oddly comforting about that smooth tentacle around my ankle, and that probably said something about me I didn’t want to think about.
“Okay, introductions are in order. Hades took me from Earth because he suspected I could communicate with you. I’ve got no idea why I can, and I used to treat people’s pets before. I don’t know the first thing about treating any of you, but I can try.
“I need to know how to make things more comfortable for you. You have a voice now. Tell me what you need so I can tell Hades.”
“I need things to tend to my falx. If I’m not going to die in that arena, then my weapons need to be up to snuff,”Kimon said,
“What about anything that would make you more comfortable?”
The bull’s head winked at me.
“You could come in here and stroke my horns, baby bird.”
“You’re a pig, Kimon,”Pavlina said.
“What about you, Pavlina? What do you want?”
“I want to wrap Demos in a nice web and eat him slowly.”
“What do you want that doesn’t involve eating Demos?”
“I wouldn’t mind eating Demeter, either.”
“Demeter is mine,”Tryphon said as his tentacle crept up my calf.
“What do all of you want that I can actually give you?”
“Some plants I can spin webs in. Big plants because I make big webs. It’ll help me make a better bed.”
“Pavlina wants plants, and Kimon wants tools for his weapons. What about you, Demos and Tryphon?”
“There’s nothing a half breed can do for a phoenix. You aren’t even a demigod. I don’t know what you are, but you can’t beat a Goddess.”
“No, but I’m the only one who can communicate your needs to Hades while you are stuck like this. You can either be a dick, live in a dirty cell, and deal with what Hades thinks you want, or you can let me help you.”
“Fine. I want wine from Hades’ stash and caviar before every fight.”
“If you want to get drunk before you fight, that’s on you, but I’ll pass on the message. What about you, Tryphon?”
“I want to see you more. I want to touch you. I’m tired of listening to Pavlina and Demos bicker, and I like how you feel.”
“I can do that. I have an idea. There’s a big open area by Tryphon’s pool. I can have Hades bring in sofas and things to entertain you. Demeter doesn’t have to know you are being let out of these cells. We can all chat and pretend things aren’t shitty.”
Demos just huffed and fluffed his wings. Little sparks flew as his orange and red feathers rubbed against each other.
“It’s just going to get shitty again when they come to get one of us to fight.”
