Page 22 of Monster Whisperer
would give it to the beautiful, curious creature that walked into this jail. She couldn’t just talk to monsters. She knew how to deliver. My cell was in the process of being filled with many potted plants so I could spin a magnificent web. I could make a comfortable bed now. And if I weren’t trapped in my spider, I’d be doing my hardest to get River in there with me. Would she freak at the idea? She didn’t seem to be scared of monsters, and I had no idea if she was into women, but would getting her in my web be too much for her?
I was too big like this to get through the door of her apartment. It shocked me Demos went in. He noped right out of there pretty quickly, and that just made me like her even better. Demos was an insufferable asshole, and if she offended his delicate sensibilities, I could just kiss her. Except I was stuck like this and didn’t have a mouth to pleasure her with at the moment.
Tryphon and I were both ignoring Demos and grumping together. Both of us were too big to enter her apartment, and we already knew what Kimon was doing in there if she let him use her shower. He was strutting around and showing off as naked as she would let him be without kicking him out.
We all had our various ways of romancing women, but we’d never been interested in the same one before except for when Demos’ girlfriend tried to take me home at a pub. I had just been looking for a one-night stand that night, but I didn’t sleep with taken women even if it was only one night.
“Why can’t you just go in there and get her, Demos?”Tryphon asked.
Tryphon wanted River as far away from a naked Kimon as possible, and I already knew what his issue was. When Tryphon wasn’t accessing his Kraken and walking around in human skin, he was quite unique looking. Women threw themselves at him all the time. He wanted to show River the man behind the monster and he couldn’t. Out of all of us, Kimon resembled humans the most, aside from his bull head. Tryphon was jealous.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say I wanted to show her my human face instead of my monster, but I wasn’t jealous of Tryphon or Kimon because they were trying too. Sure, I could always eat them and get them out of the way, but they were my friends. I’d threatened to several times, and I wouldn’t mind face-punching him, but I wouldn’t even eat Demos.
We might all fight like cats and dogs, but we’d always been a team. Yeah, Demos and I could never take the same shift, but I thought we had an understanding now. And I could see straight through him. He was intrigued by our monster whisperer too.
“I’m not being alone with that girl until we find out what she is,”Demos said.
“You heard the little witch that was in here. She’s precious to another realm. You’d better start kissing her ass, Demos,”Tryphon growled.
“She’s dangerous.”
And that was just how I liked my women. I was glad she scared the shit out of something as powerful as a phoenix. It just made her a lot more interesting.
The jail was busy tonight. River had come through, and there were all kinds of things being delivered and set up. Could we get some food in here too? Like, actual food? They’d been bringing me animals, and they were giving Tryphon enormous fish to eat. That kept us satisfied when we weren’t trapped as monsters. Tryphon had a particular diet when he was his Kraken, and I was a predator.
It was no fun spinning some helpless animal in a tiny cell in my web, and it didn’t satisfy me at all. I was starving, and so was Tryphon. I hadn’t fought in the ring in a week, so I had nothing good to eat. It wasn’t satisfying eating anyone in the ring either. Those monsters were my friends, not the kind of prey I enjoyed hunting.
Hades strolled into the jail in an expensive suit. He was always dressed to the nines, even if he was just coming down here. I could appreciate that about him. He was always totally immaculate. He even managed not to muss his hair in battle.
“Where is River?” he asked.
As if any of us could answer him like this. Would he like me to respond with the clapping of my pinchers? Tryphon could splash some water on him or smack him in the face with a tentacle like he did Kimon. I’ll admit, I laughed like a maniac when that went down. It was a wet, messy slap.
“Oh, damn. Sorry. Let me go find River. Dinner is coming soon.”
Hades disappeared, and I was salivating, hoping for something decent to eat. I start sniggering when I heard Hades yelling from my cell.
“Kimon, put some fucking clothes on! She’s not here for that!”
I called it.
Hades came storming out with blue flames flickering in his eyes. He clearly didn’t know if we could all show off naked for River, we totally would be. River was trailing behind him, followed by Kimon wearing nothing but a bedsheet.
“You just couldn’t help it, could you?”Tryphon growled.
“His clothes are being washed, and I don’t have a problem with nudity,” River said.
Duly noted for later.
Cerberus was glaring at Kimon with stinky brown eyes. Cerberus was just a dog and didn’t have a human form. It shocked me he’d left Hades’ side to stay with River, but she generally had that effect on us. Cerberus had never liked me and avoided me. He was fun to scare.
“Is all of this acceptable to you?” Hades said, waving his hand at all the upgrades.
“It’s not for me. Is this okay? Do all of you need anything else?”
“Proper food. Tryphon and I are hungry.”
“I want my naked swim, my pet.”
