Page 16 of The Goddess is Angry
“Sit down. You’re making me nervous,” Mags said. “Sometimes, I wish I could conjure shit like you can because I’d make a Pez dispenser that shot a Xanax straight down your throat. You get extra high-strung sometimes because of that godly DNA.”
“Oh, shut up. I do not.”
“You do, too,” Matilda said. “Literally, no one at this school can hurt you physically. You’re immune to Drake’s venom. All he can do to you is be mean and my twin sister just does not let men be rude to her. Bell women don’t get butthurt. We get even.”
“You’re thinking you have to sit there and take his vitriol because it’s the only way to stop anyone else from getting murdered, but you don’t. Drake isn’t getting his answers without you, either,” Mags said.
“Drake doesn’t like you, so clearly he has shitty taste, but I’ve talked to him in magical combat. He’s not a bad person or completely unreasonable. Drake might not like witches, but I didn’t get vibes from him that he’s going to let students get murdered because he’s refusing to work with you. Just remind him of that. Or you could cosmically put him in his place by taking off your necklace and blowing his mind that he’s been mouthing off to a fucking god.”
That would be satisfying. I’ve never pulled the god card. I had never once considered whipping my necklace off to put Kaylee Krauss in her place. In a way, I got why she hated me. I wasn’t even thinking when I pointed out her great aunt was allergic to strawberries when she was talking about eating strawberry cake at Minerva’s house several nights a week.
I was a kid. I wasn’t thinking that Kaylee was lying to look better because she was also a kid. All I was thinking about was how bad it would be if Minerva ate strawberries. A few people teased Kaylee about it. It would have eventually blown over, but then Minerva’s will was read and I got everything Kaylee and Lindsay thought they were due.
Kaylee and Lindsay earned everything they got or didn’t get when it came to Minerva, but I got why they thought that was all my fault. They were mostly annoying.
But Drake? I didn’t do anything to Drake. Until I crashed his dinner, I’d never even spoken to him before. He hated me because he thought I was a witch.
Drake made me want to take off my necklace and put him in his fucking place.
george
My head was a lot clearer after I’d gotten some sleep. My brain had time to marinate on everything Matilda and Mags tried to tell me. Matilda was right. We shared a womb, but our ancestors had very different experiences. My dad didn’t have parents. He was just created one day before the universe. I didn’t have a set of grandparents from him.
Matilda’s dad and grandparents used to be someone’s property. Bram was raised like a son and didn’t have to go through the things the other Hellhounds did. Her grandparents did though, and they didn’t like to talk about it.
Drake didn’t know me, but I also didn’t know Drake. Now that I’d slept on it, Drake’s reaction to witches was weird. Magic with Basilisk parts was forbidden before Europeans ever came to the New World. People still broke them, but then about one hundred and fifty years ago, they tightened the laws and made the punishments stricter.
Like, Drake was so paranoid I was going to steal his hair and toenails and honestly, I wouldn’t put it past some people, but even spells where a Basilisk sold someone hair or nail clippings willingly was a life sentence because the potions that were made with them were usually deadly or had horrific results.
I could be butthurt that Drake was rude to me or I could try to nip it in the bud and find out why Drake was so paranoid about it. So, when I got to the dining hall, I interrupted Drake’s breakfast, too.
“Yeah, no. You don’t have to like me, but the Fates decided we’re a team now, so you aren’t eating alone anymore. We’ve got shit to figure out. You might think I’m terrible, but the other people I sit with are pretty fucking amazing. They are helping me and they’ll help you, too.”
Drake scowled at me, but he picked up his tray and followed me to my table. And apparently, all my boyfriends knew and liked Drake. Drake and Oscar had a secret handshake. When did that even happen?
“Baby Drake!” West boomed. “Welcome to the team. Church will choose his words much better if you need to talk to ghosts again.”
“You got my boyfriend’s dick repeatedly assaulted by a ghost?” I hissed. “I had plans for it.”
“That wasn’t Drake,” Ren said. “Church’s dick woes are all on him. Everyone who’s graduated middle school knows not to insult a ghost.”
“Wait, the ghosts are messing with your dick?” Drake asked.
“Bethany keeps popping out of the floor and punching me right in the cock. I keep hoping she’ll get bored with my dick, but so far, no luck.”
“In all fairness, your dick is pretty fabulous,” I said.
Matilda gagged.
“Excuse me, but there are lesbians trying to enjoy their breakfast over here.”
“Dick punching is funny. Sorry, Church,” Mags said.
Church moaned and adjusted himself.
“Azren says they’ve been both male and female, so you should know they said getting your nuts smashed is the same as you getting punched in the tit. So, think about that when you laugh every time Bethany dick punches me.”
“Only little bitches punch you in the tit or pull your hair,” Matilda said.
