Page 43 of The Goddess is Angry
So, Loki grew Thor’s testicles to the size of watermelons and for all the shitting on him they did because he was shady for shapeshifting, no one could put Thor’s balls right except Loki. My Uncle Loki had been alive for a while and no one wanted a bored trickster. He’d taken on several different jobs in his long lifetime.
Loki told Dexter and me for a hot minute, he was a pretty ‘in demand’ plastic surgeon because the theory was the same as Thor’s nuts, his work was flawless, and aside from a little discomfort when he was working, it was painless with zero recovery time. He told us how much he loved that job, but some of the people he helped got petty and wanted him to disfigure someone they had a grudge against.
Loki was easily able to walk me through it and Dexter was just so happy once it was done. Now we had two dudes walking around without shirts on showing their wings off. It was less annoying when Dexter did it because my idiot brother always smacked me with his wings and left feathers in my room.
We were coming up on Yule. Everything was decked out in evergreen and there were presents everywhere. My mom liked my guys, but she was going to lose her shit when she saw the painting I commissioned from Oscar. It wasperfectand better than I imagined.
Two days before we were going to exchange gifts, the shit hit the fan and my living room was suddenly swarming with gods. My aunt was there with her coven and Freya was with them. They all had this look on their face like something was wrong. My aunt and my mom were identical twins, so I knew the look on my aunt’s face pretty well.
They summoned everyone because Azren and Drake appeared next. I’d been texting and calling my guys over break. You had to download special apps to call different realms. I had the one to call Hell and Drake and Azren got me the one I needed to call people in the Netherworld.
Freya was holding a huge box that looked like it had been lovingly wrapped. She threw it on the floor like she didn’t want to touch it. Freya was beautiful. She was a redhead like Lilith, but a strawberry-blonde with silver eyes like all the gods and a spattering of freckles across her nose. I was more used to seeing her in the body of a tiny, wrinkled witch, but her demeanor was the same. She was pissed and worried about something. Her face was completely different, but I justknew.
“I haven’t been Freya in a few centuries, but no matter what life I was living, Ineverpissed off anyone enough to send me that.”
“Someone better tell us what’s in it or I’m going to do that scene from the movie where that really pretty human actor’s wife’s head is in a box,” Balthazar said.
Freya shot him a look.
“Watch it. I’m no longer in the body of a low-powered witch anymore. There are serial killer trophies in that box. Witch hearts. Two are fresh and the rest are much older. Not a lot of people knew I was staying with the Bells. Aside from Azren and the three men I managed to meet every time I was reborn, no one knew my secret until Ravyn’s men blurted it out in front of her because of my perfume. Also, I ended up at the Academy of the Profane twice. If the Banshees screamed, we heard about the accident. The academy never pretended like nothing happened. That policy was written after Beatrix died.”
“Sorry, but Freya is like my sister,” Loki said. “Everyone adored her. We pretended like we hated each other so she didn’t get wrapped up in my fuckery back then. I can’t think of who would do this.”
“I was right about it being a god,” Azren said. “And the same person.”
Yup. Unless the angels were targeting Freya. It ruled out Lindsay Krauss, and all pointed to a god. Or an angel. Fuck. All we ruled out was my headmaster. All the angels I knew personally drank the powerful women juice and didn’t feel threatened. Two of them had to unlearn a lot of brainwashing and my brother was raised to respect women.
The other angels weren’t like that. They hated Lilith. Freya never created a supernatural race, but there were a ton out there that left offerings for her in addition to the god who created them. It wasn’t just witches.
“It could still be an angel,” I pointed out. “We know they don’t like witches. Freya has always been an ally, even if no one knows how much. What’s more likely? A god made the Academy of the Profane their hunting ground waiting for Freya to show up so they could deliver their creepy gift or an angel is carrying on an old feud and tried to bully Freya, too, by gifting her their creepy trophies.”
“I told you she was smart,” Freya bragged to Azren.
Belladonna raised her hand.
“Obviously, I’m not a part of this investigation and it’s a little overwhelming being around this many gods, but what if it’s not someone who hates her and is trying to bully her? There was this guy at my high school who was obsessed with joining my hive. It was never going to happen. I’m not into guys and my parents wouldn’t have allowed it because his family only got rich two generations ago.
“He kept leaving gifts in my locker to impress me. It started with jewelry and the more I turned him down, the more deranged the gifts got. He started leaving dead animals. He got arrested trying to break into my bedroom with a knife and Basilisk potion that would have permanently disfigured me. I don’t even know where he got it, but the Paranormal Investigation Bureau takes Basilisk potions seriously. They tried him as an adult and he’s serving life. I had to change my number because he kept calling from prison. It could be like that.”
My dad huffed. Belladonna’s theory was a good one and one I hadn’t even considered. She’d clearly been through a lot more than I originally knew. My dad didn’t even let anyone comment on her theory. Belladonna was one of us now.
“You’re dating our kid, so you’re family now. Loki and I can get into his jail cell with no problem. We’ll only kill him if you want us to, but we can make his psycho-ass regret ever trying to hurt you and killing harmless animals.”
“Ooh, please?” Loki said. “We haven’t tagged teamed a fuck boy inages.”
“Um, maybe you should worry about whoever is cutting out my classmate’s hearts and delivering them to gods.”
“Um, hello? Trickster. I can fuck with that kid, fuck your parents out of your trust fund, and plan how I’m going to thoroughly fuck my wife without even getting a headache.”
“You don’t have to brag, love,” Aunt Ravyn said. “This serial killer takes precedence.”
“So, we’ve got two possible suspects, but no actual names and neither should be able to manipulate memories without serious side effects or killing someone. I need to research,” Azren said. “George, Drake, and I came as soon as Freya texted, but we have your Yule gifts back at my place. How’d you like to see the Netherworld? I can get you back before it’s time to exchange gifts.”
Drake gave me big puppy-dog eyes. Asshole. I really wanted to go, but how was I supposed to say no to that face?
“Pretty please? Our Yule traditions are mostly different, but everyone goes ridiculously overboard. Like, more than your family does.”
I was already sold, but we had a ton of holidays that went by the lunar calendar. Everyone went all out. Yule was my mom’s favorite holiday, so we had everyone’s family traditions, Bram brought some over from Hell, and my dad told my mom about some older traditions that were pretty amazing, but fell out of favor.
