Page 36 of Chaos
“Corrupt witches are so much fun. Did you know some of them have digitized the really nasty shit in their grimoires in case the book falls into the wrong hands? They don’t even encrypt the files. I don’t have to be a warlock to know some of those spells are evil. I’ve found some pretty grandiose memoirs in Word documents like they thought one day, someone was going to respect that shit.”
“Not all witches are like that,” Gabriel pointed out.
“Oh, I’m not saying they have the market. I’ve found some pretty incriminating shit on every species in the supernatural world’s computers and cell phones. They just do things differently. Vampires get up to some awful shit too, but it’s usually just because we’re horny or hungry.”
“Can you do it?” I asked. “Get into Silvaria’s laptop and phone?”
“Yeah, but I’ll need my own laptop. Yours is nice, but mines built for things like that.”
“Where is it?” Reyson asked.
“Back home. I was only planning on coming for research.”
Reyson snapped his fingers, and a laptop appeared on the table. Balthazar fluttered his long lashes at Reyson.
“You’re sweet, big guy.”
I rolled my eyes, but I tried to hide my smile—what a team we made. Reyson was trying to woo me to be his wife, but Balthazar was trying to get him in bed. I had a feeling Reyson would be totally down with that too, only if I joined him. I couldn’t say that wasn’t intriguing, but it was an idea to revisit later if we ever figured this out.
“While you’re doing that, it’s time for me to help with what you came for. Minerva Krauss taught me at the Academy of the Profane. We’ve struck up a bit of a friendship here. I might as well put myself to good use and break your curse. Care to tell me more about it?”
Balthazar seemed to have no shame about just about anything, but I watched his cheeks flush. I had a pretty good idea of how a bitter witch would curse her ex, but I needed to know precisely what was done.”
“Man, it’s super embarrassing,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.
“I know she cursed your cock, Balthazar. It was pretty common when my sister and I were at the Academy. Ravyn and I never did it. I think poor Minerva Krauss looked at way more cursed college boy cock than she ever wanted to my sophomore year. It’s probably why she never married.”
“It’s definitely why she never thought about it after that year,” Felix said. “Do you remember when Carl streaked across the courtyard? He slowed down long enough for me to see it. That was the ugliest knob I’ve ever seen, and she had to get up close and personal with it to treat those pustules Clara gave him. You don’t have sores on your dick, do you?”
Balthazar turned a little green. Was it something else? Most witches went straight for the dick sores because it was painful and a huge warning sign to other women to stay away.
“No, thank Nosferatu. If it actually works, it hurts so badly, I can barely stand. Luckily, getting it up in the first place is pretty difficult.”
Then why was he hitting on Reyson so hard? Vampires were so weird.
“That’s actually a combination of two curses. It’s—”
Gabriel just started laughing.
“Man, what did you do that you ended up with two curses on your dick?”
Balthazar just glared at him.
“Not a damned thing. She showed up at a meeting with a client and threw a drink in the poor woman’s face because she thought I was fucking her. I almost lost the job, but luckily, I can do things few other people can do. I broke up with her after that, and she didn’t take it well. She kept calling and showing up at my house, begging me to take her back.
“I thought she finally got the hint when she started leaving me alone, but that’s when the problems started.”
“Sounds about right,” Gabriel said. “My people can be super petty.”
“Anyway, I can break the curses. It’s two different potions, but I can bind them together with mugwort to make them less volatile and get the job done. It also involves some chanting and magic, so I’m going to have to get right up on your dick. I can’t just give you the potion.”
Balthazar broke into this huge grin. I just knew it was because I had to touch his cock and not because I could break his curse.
Fucking vampires.
Chapter 30
Reyson
