Page 42 of The Red Rider
“I’d bet my grace on it.”
Well, wasn’t Aeron trying to reassure me as blasphemously as possible? But he was looking at me like he was earnest. That was all his power. It was how the world hadn’t ended so far. He was willing to offend God by telling me he’d risk it just to reassure me.
“You know I’m smart, right?” Leif said.
“Well, yeah. You’re probably the smartest fucking person I’ve ever met.”
“Then if you won’t believe us about your mother, then trust us when we tell you that you’ll build a ton of Heaven points stopping Satan from rising.”
“Sorry, guys. I’ve just never given much thought to where I end up when I die, and then you dropped that on me. I guess stopping the end of the world would level the playing field.”
Dice popped his toothpick in his mouth.
“Are you still mad at us?”
“I guess not, but try not to laugh when I ask questions anymore.”
“Want to go blow off some steam and kill some of your father’s people?”
“Totally.”
Chapter 22
I
really wish I had more time to process all the shit that had been thrown my way since I woke up from that coma, but that was something that just wasn’t available to me. I would have taken five more minutes to deal with my immortal soul, but Beavis and Butthead were in New Jersey dragging zombies, so we had to kill them.
In addition to having to deal with everything getting thrown at me in short amounts of time, I’d also become totally okay with killing. Before I got kidnapped, I couldn’t even watch those ASPCA commercials about abused animals without ugly crying. Seriously, I teared up and donating every single time one came on.
But Leonard and this random Bubba? I didn’t even bat an eye. My father told them to attack an entire state and kidnap me, and they just did it. With so little people left in the world, most sane people would question letting zombies eat an entire state and risking their lives to bring me back. I knew it was some sort of Nephilim superpower to inspire that kind of devotion, but seriously? Why were so many people willing to commit genocide for him.
Yeah, I had no problem killing people like that. It would save countless lives in the end. Dice had a location, and I just needed to trust them. I’d seen Aeron in action. Dice made a toy with Leif’s serum in it. We could do this. Dice had a location. We just needed to get there.
“We’re going to have to get there the angel way, Speedy. Is that okay?” Aeron said.
I fucking loved him for asking first. I nodded and wrapped my hands around his neck. My happiness at Aeron asking me soon faded when I realized he zapped me on top of a fucking moving RV with a prominent speaker on top with Leonard giving some sort of deranged sermon to the zombies. It had the Rage Heads riled up. They were following the RV and letting out those awful wails calling more of them.
All of the angels had their wings out for balance, and I couldn’t even appreciate how sexy that was because it terrified me. Their wings were blocking my view of exactly how many zombies were surrounding us, but I could hear them, and I think that made it worse. I held onto Aeron and buried my face in his chest.
“If you drop me into those zombies, I swear I’ll never have an orgy with you again.”
“I got you, Speedy. Dice, can you get rid of those things?”
I heard Leif let out this little squeal like we weren’t on top of a moving RV.
“I’m so excited to see my serum in action on the field.”
“I just want to play with my new toy.”
I was dating psychos. Psycho angels who thought this was fun. Newsflash, I was not having fun. Especially when whoever was driving the RV realized there was something up top and was trying to swerve it in this crowd of zombies. I just shrieked and clutched Aeron.
“Do you have this handled?” Aeron yelled.
“Oh, yeah,” Dice said.
“I’m getting Ariel off the top of this RV and handling Beavis and Butthead. Speedy, want to get off the top of this RV?”
I didn’t care where he was zapping me as long as it was off the top of a moving vehicle. I nodded, and, in an instant, we were fuckinginsidethe RV. We were right behind the front seats. Leonard and Bubba jumped, and the entire RV swerved again. I could hear the thump of bodies as it ran over Rage Heads before it came to a stop. Aeron shoved me behind him and rested his arms on the headrest.
