Page 35 of Discord
I knew exactly what kind of feast to cook a respected dragon who worked in law enforcement. After listening to Balthazar, I was also feeling inquisitive about modern social media. Pop culture was fascinating. There was a lot to be said about the modern inventions when it came to food, but I wanted to bring about a renaissance of some of my old favorites. They had lost many old recipes to time, since people weren’t writing them down and making them into books for publication.
I talked about this while we waited for Ripley to heal Gabriel. Felix and Balthazar both agreed that they liked the food I had cooked for them, but they had different ideas about spreading them. Felix thought I should try for a publishing deal, and Balthazar thought I should record myself—while shirtless—teaching people how to cook them.
I might be new to this century, but I was taking everything in. I threw a little harmless flirting at Ripley’s old curses professor. She had written several books in this library, and Ripley was adorable around her because she found the woman so amazing. Some of the werewolf porn books I had read were proof that simply having a good idea was not enough to get someone to give you a book deal. Shit, some of those books were justbad.I found most of them highly enjoyable, though I didn’t know who most of the authors were I could only imagine some of them made it to print because someone was famous.
I was a god. People used to worship me and make sacrifices in my name. That was a different era. I’d been in the aether a long time. This was an age of cynicism. They might not even believe it if it were in a biography. They would only believe it if they saw me and felt my power.
So, I did it, and I didn’t care. I took my shirt off, strapped Ripley’s pink apron on, and let Balthazar record me teaching how to season and roast a leg of venison. He stopped the video after I put it in the oven. It just needed to cook now. I didn’t know he had already posted it.
“Holy shit, dude. You’ve gone viral.”
“Of course he did,” Felix grunted. “Look at him in that apron. Every horny woman alive is liking that video.”
“Men too,” Ripley giggled. “Reysonownsmy apron.”
I frowned. That wasnotwhat I wanted. I knew I was pleasing to look at. All of us gods were. I’d been alive for a very long time, so I was used to people fawning over my appearance… but it got old after a time. The only people I cared about impressing anymore were my witch and a few of her boyfriends.
“Isanyonecommenting on my cooking?” I asked.
“I can barely keep up with the comments. There’s a whole debate going on about whether you are really a god or not in one thread, then there’s another thread where some women want to know what shampoo you used to get your hair that shiny… then there's a mess of people that want to see it when it’s done because they think it’s best done on a spit outside.”
“That’s the way it used to be done, but I figured out how to replicate it in modern ovens. Oh, and I use Ripley’s shampoo.”
“You’ll have to video the big reveal when you pull it out of the oven and slice it up because people are questioning your methods, man,” Balthazar said.
“What the fuck did you think was going to happen when you had Balthazar video you shirtless rubbing down a side of meat?” Felix said. “Every thirsty, horny bastard on the planet is filing that away to wank to later. Some of them were probably doing it during the video.”
Ripley wrapped her arms around my waist and nuzzled my chest.
“Why are you trying to get social media famous, Reyson? I’m not sure if you know this, but people tend to be brutal there because they are hiding behind a screen.”
I squeezed her and rubbed my face in her soft curls.
“I want to write a cookbook full of recipes I liked the last time I walked this earth. A lot of them have been forgotten. They are a lot easier to cook now with modern appliances.”
“Reyson, you’re a god. Why do you want to write a cookbook?”
Good question. I should just tell her. I said I would always be candid with her.
“Because my witch runs a library, and so books clearly impress her… so, there's that… and while I’m enjoying much of the modern food I’ve been offered, I don’t know what many of the ingredients on the label are. Some of it reminds me of sad, questionable food they served at dirty taverns where it was best not to ask what was in it.”
“You don’t have to cook shirtless on social media to impress me, Reyson. You don’t have to write a book either.”
“I know that, my witch. It’s just a bonus. I never put my mark on the world by creating a new species. I helped create the entire universe, but most people don’t remember that. I’m blamed for things that weren’t even me. There’s a lot to say for being remembered for writing a book.”
“Reyson, why a cookbook instead of an autobiography? Do you know how many people pray to the gods and never get an answer? People would eat it up if you wrote your story and cleared up several of the things you’ve told us.”
Yes, I certainly could do that. It would sell better than a cookbook, for sure, and it would be my chance to clear up some of the things people still blame me for. No one worships me anymore, but I hear it in the aether when they curse me for something I didn’t do. A god sent an iceberg after a ship in a fit of pettiness, but it certainly wasn’t me.
“Bad idea, my witch. We can’t hear the prayers of those we didn’t create, but we do know when we are being talked about. Every god in the aether would want to know why they are on people’s lips again. They’d get curious and want to walk the Earth again. That would be bad, on a cosmic level. Not all the forgotten gods in the aether are good.”
“You’re saying people gossiping about them are going to bring a bunch of gods back to Earth that will demand to be worshiped?” Felix asked.
“We are not above such pettiness, Felix.”
“Hello? You put a cock on my face for knocking over your bloody cookies! History aside, I think we know that.”
I chuckled. He was reallystillmad about that? It wasn’t like anyone saw it unless he turned into the cat.
