Page 16 of Disabling Relics for Dummies
“I agree we should keep the grimoire a secret from him,” Ravyn said. “I appreciate you keeping him away from us after what he did to me, but if you’re going to play for our team, you can’t keep secrets. You know more about the cult than we do, and you were on that dig. It means a lot to me that you got rid of him, and it’s honestly hilarious watching you make him your little bitch, but we all need to find out what the spirits said to him. Honestly, I might be our best shot at that.”
“You! Thing One and Thing Two,” Ripley said, pointing at Killian and me. “I like both of you, but you’d better have my sister’s back while she does this. I know Killian will, but I still have stranger danger vibes with the doctor because we just met.”
Did this witch just compare me to a destructive children’s book character? She really had no idea how close to the truth she was with that. Still, I’d protect Ravyn even if I weren’t fond of her already. I puffed up my chest. I’d impressed Ravyn, but she came as a set. I needed to impress her twin too.
“Killian is not the only one who is capable of giving Valentine an ass beating. Honestly, I’d love for him to give me a reason, and defending your sister’s honor is a perfect excuse.”
Ripley actually punched me in the arm. Pretty hard.
“I approve. You have my permission to sniff around my twin and find out if she digs you for her coven.”
Well…thanks? Getting invited to a witch’s coven had never happened to me before, but I was pretty sure it never involved assault from a sister. I liked the twins. They were direct, powerful, and brilliant. Ravyn was quite lovely.
And any witch who knew the language of the Norse Gods well enough to use it at work was speaking directly to my soul.
Chapter13
Ravyn
My twin was nothing but persistent. When we both had shit luck with men, she was fine with my dating ban. But, now that she had five hot men worshipping her, she wanted the same for me. I was always her wingman when she went trolling for dick at bars. A girl needed backup to weed out the weirdos, andplentyof weirdos were interested in both of us.
Once, while I was running interference for my twin, a vampire wearing a pink top hat tried to get me to go home with him and do all kinds of fucked up things with silly string. I wasn’t about to kink shame someone for their silly string proclivities in the bedroom, but I didn’t really want to take part in it.
If I ended up with what my sister had men wise, it would be on my terms. Doctor Key was beautiful, fascinating, and brilliant, but he wasn’t totally honest with us. I understood he didn’t voice his suspicions about Valentine in as much detail as he did tonight because he tried to make my museum a safe space by removing Valentine.
I was a big girl. I could deal with that wolf turd if he went from serial cheater to manipulated by the ghosts of a dangerous cult. Still, it meant a fucking lot that Key was willing to risk it because he knew something bad went down between us.
The grimoire was safely contained where the elements couldn’t hurt it. We had this really great vampire named Sasha on staff who was a master at making digital copies of anything that came in on parchment without damaging it. She liked to read the grimoires and look at the illustrations for historical purposes, but she had no interest in releasing the contents of them to the general public. So I trusted her implicitly with this grimoire.
We were about to wrap up and go home to watch the dodgeball match. My favorite teams weren’t playing, but maybe someone would surprise me and end up at the playoffs.
I didn’t quite want to call it a wrap just yet. WhowasDoctor Key? How did he manage to guess everyone’s favorite sandwich? I wanted to know more.
“Want to come watch the dodgeball game with us?” I asked.
“England isn’t playing, but it should still be a good match,” Killian said.
“Yes, but Norway is, and that’s my team. I’d love to.”
He rooted for Norway and was fluent in Old Norse? I wanted to know more. Everyone had a favorite dodgeball team. Ripley and I both rooted for England because our familiars were born there. We were decent players in high school, but the Academy of the Profane didn’t have a team because they prided themselves on academics.
I’d never met a single person who rooted for Norway’s dodgeball team before. I watched when they played because dodgeball matches were always exciting, but they’d never done anything on the field to convert me.
“Should I stop for snacks?” Key asked.
“Nah. I’m fully prepared for that. Ripley and I take our dodgeball matches seriously. We always watch together when England is playing. She’s watching with her harem tonight.”
“I do watch the news, Ravyn. She seems to have recovered from her ordeal just fine. How are you holding up?”
Shit. Kaine did those press conferences after my sister got kidnapped. I didn’t think it would make international news, but Key heard about it, anyway. He knew full well my sister was shacking up with a god. I still didn’t know how he figured out Killian was dual natured, but he knewhow.
And he hadn’t demanded to meet Reyson. He didn’t ask Ripley a single question about him. When he dropped the little tidbit that he knew my sister was dating a god, he asked howIwas doing after going to Hell to rescue my sister.
“The men that took her are epically dead now. It sparked an entire revolution in Hell and freed the Hellhounds. We got to meet Lilith, and she’s pretty damned cool.”
“Fate is a strange beast. I can’t imagine the thought process of people that think kidnapping someone’s loved ones and that they think it will end well for them. You have to be a special kind of stupid to do that when a god is involved. Unfortunately, some of the gods are terribly petty and have no problem hurting their own family.”
“I heard about that with Lilith.”
