Page 23 of Disabling Relics for Dummies
“I’d be doing that right now, but I’m hearing out your opinions on my love life because I love you.”
“Noted. I’ll let you go. You have two hot warlocks in your cottage. Use your time wisely, young Jedi.”
I laughed and hung up the phone. I went into my living room. Key and Killian were lounging on my couch, looking like old friends. They were polar opposites.
When Killian first showed up as my familiar, he spoke like someone from centuries ago. But, he quickly picked up on modern slang, and now he spoke like he had been born the same year I was. If it were a good one, he’d break out burns from his time, and I found it hilarious.
Key never outright insulted Valentine to his face like Killian and I did to each other all the time. It was subtle, but he did it all the time without Valentine noticing. I had a feeling if he ever did, Killian and I were going to need more than a fist bump to congratulate him.
“What have you two been plotting?” I asked.
Key just winked at me like he heard my entire phone conversation, even though I had left the room.
“I imagine it’s nothing as salacious as what you and your twin were discussing.”
There was no possible way he could have known if my twin sister could have invited herself here, she would have used Reyson to trap us in my cottage and disappeared all my clothes until a threesome happened. I knew she just wanted me to be happy, and as far as threesome fantasies went, that was probably areallyhot sandwich to be in the middle of.
I was still a little gun shy. I knew Killian wasn’t going to step out on me. I had a feeling Key wouldn’t either. He seemed to dislike Valentine for doing that to me. I just didn’tknowyet. So, I changed the subject.
“We’re doing brunch at the library to teach little Beyla some witchcraft.”
“Excellent. You can give her your care package. You know they aren’t teaching her magic at high school.”
“A high school witch with magic? How did that happen?” Key asked.
Killian and I filled him in on Beyla. How her parents raised her human and her idiot human boyfriend decided to ruin an opportunity for her to dance professionally by breaking both of her feet. Then, her parents got into a fatal car accident, and she took too many pills because she thought her life was already over.
Kaine didn’t want that to happen again, and neither did Ripley nor me. So we would weave an entire support system around that girl until she was a badass witch and a professional dancer.
“That’s unfortunate,” Key said. “Has the dragon who adopted her eaten that boy who broke her feet?”
“He’s missing. Kaine said he didn’t do it. Kaine is a pretty important officer of the law, but he came with us to Hell,” I said. “Kaine pretty much reveled in going rogue with his dragon in Hell.Ifhe got revenge on that boy for hurting Beyla, he’d be bragging about it.”
“I have a big problem with men who hurt women. That goes for physically and emotionally. I’ve gone to extremes to prevent arranged marriages the woman didn’t want. Someone needs to find this boy and fling him into the sun.”
That was pretty fucking romantic. No one really did arranged marriages and dowries anymore except supernaturals with old money whose ancestors were famous. The rest of the civilized world realized you probably shouldn’t marry your third cousin because you were worried about poor genes from the common folk.
Their kids were so brainwashed, most of them just went through with it, even if they couldn’t stand the person they were supposed to marry. A few hated it and spoke out against it. I could imagine some of the things Key had to do because some of the kids I went to school with at the academy really didn’t want to marry their buck-toothed distant relative and were told to do it or be disowned. The supernatural community loved a good shunning.
“I’m dying to hear that story,” I said.
“Well, it’s quite a long story that involves massive amounts of trickery. You might think less of me once you’ve heard it.”
“Okay, now you have to tell us. It sounds juicy.”
“That is a story for another night. The eclipse is coming up, and we need a plan.”
“Valentine needs a witch, and I don’t intend to comply.”
“Eventually, he’s going to figure that out. He hoped to use your previous relationship to get you to help him, but he’ll realize it’s over, and you won’t break the rules.Youmight not be a corrupt witch, but it wouldn’t be hard for him to find one. How safe is that grimoire?”
“Sasha is trustworthy and capable of fighting off a wolf. She works in an area of the warehouse I haven’t taken Valentine to. Her office has its own entrance, and he’s never seen her. Even if I hadn’t already warned her, she usually stays in her office with her toys.”
“That’s good, but you managed to get his mind off what was in that box for today, but he’s going to ask again. It can only be in two places, and we need to get the puzzle box open before the eclipse.”
“I don’t think we should open that puzzle box,” Killian said.
“Oh, but we absolutely should,” Key said.
