Page 37 of Disabling Relics for Dummies
“Focus. I fail to see how Bram’s piercing and orgies equate emergency.”
“YouknowI’m meticulous about birth control spells. Reyson had to do something extra because he’s more potent than my magic. I don’t know anything about God birth control and how often it needs to be redone. Ido,however, know that I was kidnapped and in a cage in Hell when I was supposed to be redoing mine. Then the whole revolution thing happened. A stupid kid messed up my library while I was gone, and when I was finally back in my apartment with all of them together, I was thinking about orgies and not birth control with everything that happened. What if I’m pregnant?”
“You always said you wanted kids, eventually. Your guys are insane, but I’ll bet they’ll make amazing daddies.”
“Yeah,eventually.After I met the right guy, had lots of sex, and traveled.”
“You met five Mister Rights and traveled to a different realm. You don’t even know if you’re pregnant, and it’s too soon to test.”
“I have a feeling, and you know how things go when I get those.”
Yeah, things tended to get fucked when either of us caught a feeling. I was in the exact same situation because I caught feelings for Killian and Key. I just knew damned sure I did my birth control spell before I got kinky with them.
“Shit, you’re definitely pregnant then. Congrats. After we open this box, I’ll boot Gabriel back to the library so you can tell them.”
“How am I supposed to tell them that? Yeah, we’re all copacetic and living together, but we haven’t even been dating a year.”
“Girl, seriously? They went to Hell for you. Impregnating you is just the next step.”
“Gross, Ravyn.”
“That was nowhere near as nasty as when Mom tried to tell us how babies are made.”
“I thought we swore never to discuss that again.”
“Hey, I didn’t bring up the drawings she did.”
“What if the baby is Reyson’s? What if giving birth to a demigod is like those Sigourney Weaver movies where those things punch their way out of your chest?”
I was fairly certain that was unlikely, but we couldn’t exactly find a YouTube video for that. I’d be looking up something totally harmless, and it would autocomplete some really bizarre question about pregnancy, but nothing about demigods.
“Reyson tends to spill his guts about things no one wants to know about. He’d tell you if his spawn was going to eat its way out of you. Plus, he’d probably murder someone for messing up your hair. He wouldn’t say he wanted kids with you if it would kill you.”
“Shit. You’re right. I’m going to tell them over dinner. I don’t want them making a scene at the library if I’m wrong. Most of my regulars are grandparents. This baby is going to have so many booties and knitted caps.”
“You still have to confirm you’re pregnant.”
“It was the right time anda lotof dicks.”
“Congrats. I’ll get your man back to you unharmed.”
“If he gets cursed opening your new toy, I expect him back uncursed.”
“He’ll be totally fine.”
We were finally ready to open that box. I was about ninety-eight percent sure I wasn’t going to get my sister’s boyfriend cursed and way less sure I wasn’t going to make a total dick out of myself trying to keep my sister’s secret.
Chapter29
Ravyn
Ripley’s news wasn’t mine to tell, and I wouldneverbetray my twin. Especially over something this important. I knew she was terrified now, but once it sunk in, she was going to be ecstatic if it was true. We both loved kids and wanted them. They were like these pint-sized terrorists that said whatever they were feeling and fuck your feelings. Only kids and senior citizens could get away with that. It was pretty amazing.
“Is Ripley okay?” Gabriel asked.
“Girl talk, and I had to swear I wasn’t going to send you back as a plague-ridden rat.”
“That’s not a good pep talk if you want my help.”
