Page 40 of Disabling Relics for Dummies
“Is Odin still looking for me?” Sleipnir asked.
“All my contemporaries have either fucked off to the Aether or trying to hold down mundane jobs. Odin is off in Paris writing books.”
“Ilikeyou, Loki, and I’m hoping you have a very good explanation for all of this. Why don’t we go home, and you can explain over some takeout? My cottage has extra rooms. They can stay in my guest rooms if I like what you have to say. If I don’t, the three of you can fuck off my property.”
I was grateful she was willing to hear me out because something told me this witch didn’t suffer fools that betrayed her. The only reason Valentine wasn’t cursed seven ways to Sunday was that she valued her job. I had a feeling it was coming.
I had an excellent reason for deceiving everyone here at the museum and could explain that. Hopefully, she accepted my reasons for the other shit, too, because I was the god responsible for creating the Cult of the Aether Sisters.
Chapter32
Ravyn
Itried not to be mad Loki lied to us, but I let this man in my bed. He knew my sister was dating a god and that I’d met Lilith, and he still didn’t tell us. Honestly, Doctor Key really being Loki in disguise made a lot of fucking sense if I thought about it, but what was his interest in the Cult of the Aether Sisters?
Loki had helped his fellow gods plenty of times, but he also shit on them quite often. Sometimes, they had it coming, and sometimes they didn’t. Though, if Odin kidnapped his son and forced him to be a horse, I could see where some of the stories I had been told might be a little biased against Loki. I’d never once been told or read anything about the Norse gods that Sleipnir was a horse shifter and frankly hot as fuck when he was human.
We were walking back to my cottage. Bjorn didn’t talk much and seemed to just be taking everything in. What was he anyway? I still couldn’t tell. Sleipnir and Loki were adorable with their reunion. They were just as close as I was with my mom. From what I remembered, Loki had shape shifted into many different things and was both a mother and a father to many creatures.
Killian caught up with me. He had to be feeling what I was feeling. He went bisexual for Loki. We’d both fooled around with him.
“Why do you think Loki is at your museum? Why lie about the puzzle box if he made it and had people stashed inside?”
“No idea. He’s always felt right with us, though. Even though he’s shifted his aura and eyes back to a god instead of a warlock, he still feels like one of us. Can’t you feel it?”
“It’s weird, but I do. You know how I feel about lying, though.”
“Unless he can god mojo all four elements at once, he needed four witches to get to that thumbprint.”
“So, why didn’t he just lead with he’s fucking Loki, had some people inside, and had us call Gabriel? Gabriel has seen Reyson naked. He’s not going to care about another god. Unless Reyson and Loki know each other and Reyson would tell us not to help him.”
We hadn’t realized they had caught up with us as I was unlocking the door.
“Reyson, as he’s calling himself now, and I go way back. We bonded over being gods people like to shit on. When they locked me in a cave and tortured me with snake venom, they intended to just leave me there. All their followers thought I would be there until Ragnarok. Reyson sprung me. We hung out for a while, then parted ways. The two of us together tended to attract angry villagers with pitchforks. Now that you know the truth, I’d love to brunch with him and catch up.”
That was fucked up. My life was fucked up. Damn Reyson and his possibilities. That fucker probablyknewLoki was at my museum and didn’t tell my twin. Shedefinitelywould have told me. Loki probably had some long-winded explanation for lying to me that I might not like. Reyson stuck his god dick in my twin sister and had been around her long enough to know the twin bond was sacred. If he wasn’t keeping secrets from Ripley, then he definitely needed to tell me there was a trickster god pretending to be a warlock giving me epic cunnilingus and making out with my familiar.
I think I was more pissed at Reyson than I was Loki, and I knew that wasn’t rational.
“What are we ordering?” I asked as we moved into my living room. “What do your people eat?”
“That’s a complicated question, Ravyn. I put them in a pocket realm with plenty of resources, but all they know is what they ate back in their time.”
“A side of beef is delicious in any century,” Sleipnir said.
“I’ve gotten many visions of the future,” Bjorn said. “I saw one where they stick beef between strange bread with vegetables.”
“I remember you telling me about that. It sounds like a good way to ruin beef. It’s best roasted over a spit or served in a stew,” Sleipnir said.
Oh, I was going to have fun corrupting this bunch if I didn’t end up booting them out of my house. And that answered at least one question about Bjorn. He was a seer. One who could have given the Cult of the Aether Sisters their prophesies about the eclipse and started this nonsense.
“Okay, so it’s my solemn duty as a geriatric millennial to corrupt you with Kobe cheeseburgers, duck fat and truffle frites, and some panko-crusted onion rings.”
“That sounds amazing,” Killian moaned.
“I don’t know what any of that is,” Sleipnir said.
“I told you when we agreed to go in the box that a black lipped witch would be our guide when we entered the world again. This is the witch from my vision. We should eat it,” Bjorn said.
