Page 47 of Disabling Relics for Dummies
“He’s right,” Killian said. “I don’t even think youlikedValentine. Gertrude declined your vacation request when we were going to hit up some ruins in Ireland because Valentine was coming. She also wouldn’t let you take a vacation the year before that. So I think you just liked the idea of traveling around and finding the relics yourself because Gertrude is a fucking terrorist with everyone’s vacation time, and Valentine was just there.”
“You sexy fucker, you’re totally right.”
Why hadn’t I seen that before? I ran the museum and handled all the dangerous relics. Ishouldhave been able to take a vacation when I wanted and approve it for my employees with no problem. The board shouldn’t have been involved in the museum's daily operations at all.
Gertrude Von Stein hated me and everything I stood for. She wasn’t chairman of the museum board when I got hired, or she would have made damned sure I never got this job. Gertrude couldn’t get rid of me without a unanimous vote from the rest of the board, but she sure as shit like to make my life difficult.
“Who is this Gertrude woman? It’s the second time you’ve mentioned her.”
“She’s this prudish dragon shifter from a famous line who is now the chairman of the museum board. Gertrude hates witches and thinks we are all sluts. She thinks I’m extra slutty because I don’t cover everything but my face in clothes.”
“I’d love to meet that one. She’llhateme. If she thinks witches are sluts, you pretty much have nothing on gods. We invented orgies. Slut shaming is stupid anyway. Like, don’t get mad atmebecause no one wants to fuck you.”
“Thank you! She’s from one of those wealthy families that arranges marriages. Her husband is something like her seventh cousin, and they can’t stand each other. The reason she hates me is that the board threw this big gala for a new exhibit and invited everyone interviewing for my job. Her crusty ass husband, who has never heard of trimming his nose hair, cornered me by the canapes and told me he could get me the job for sure if I fucked him.”
“I’m guessing that didn’t end well for him?”
Killian started laughing.
“Ravyn smashed a crab Rangoon in his face and cursed his dick. The rest of the board was pretty impressed with the magic Ravyn used. Gertrude wasn’t amused and blamed Ravyn for fighting back instead of her husband, who had it coming.”
“I’m guessing you refused to remove the curse too.”
I started laughing at the memory, and the time I got to stick it to Gertrude Von Stein.
“That’s the thing with witch curses. There’s this beautiful solidarity in the witching community. No one is going to remove another witch’s curse without asking what you did to earn it. My twin is shacking up with a vampire who applied for his library card to try to get rid of a curse on his cock. No one would remove it, but Ripley and I went to the Academy of the Profane with the witch who did it. She got expelled because she’d get infatuated with someone, aggressively stalk them, then leave them with a really complicated curse on their junk. It took Ripley two tries to get it off Balthazar’s.”
“So, what happened with that?”
“Well, Gertrude demanded I be disqualified from the hiring process, but I was the only applicant who had a personal letter of recommendation from Minerva Krauss that I spent three years doing independent study with her at the Academy of the Profane, and she was still mentoring me after I graduated. That trumps one pissed off dragon and her husband with a cursed dick.”
“Everyone on the board wanted Ravyn except Gertrude. She was outvoted and couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it. Her condition for supporting it was that she remove the curse. His ancient dick probably only works with the help of a pill he gets from a doctor. She should have beenthankingRavyn. If a witch her age took him up on that, he’d die during foreplay, and just think of the scandal! Ravyn did her a favor taking his cock out of commission.”
I just adored Killian. He had my back on everything. So did Loki, apparently.
“I can set this Gertrude straight,” Loki said.
“We need to be less worried about Gertrude Von Stein and more worried about Valentine and the ghosts who are whispering to him.”
That was an excellent point. Bringing Thorunn’s bones here and keeping Asfrid hostage explained why his aura kept darkening, and he was giving me the creeps. Now, Ireallydidn’t want him in my presence. Why were we even talking about my dragon nemesis instead of Valentine and his ghosts?
“I’m changing tactics,” Loki said. “I just need a good sleep snuggled up to people I care about, secure in the knowledge that Sleipnir and Bjorn are with me again. I’ll get answers out of him at the warehouse, and then we’ll move.”
“He’s not going to talk to you, dude. You clocked the shite out of him, and then we all left him in the rain,” Killian said.
“I spoke to him in a language he understands. He’s not an alpha, even though he likes to claim he is. Valentine is a wolf without a pack. They banished him from his, and if he wanted to join another one, he’d have to fight. I asserted dominance. He can challenge me or move on. He doesn’tknowI’m a god, but he knows I’m powerful. He won’t fight me.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s going to cooperate. He likes to sulk.”
“Hello? I’m Loki. I’ll get it out of him.”
I only hoped it was that easy because the eclipse was rapidly approaching.
Chapter37
Loki
Ravyn liked her sleep. She had that in common with Bjorn. I snuck out of bed with Killian to make sure we had breakfast prepared for the two sleepyheads. I knew Sleipnir would be awake. I wanted to show him the modern world. He wasn’t in his bedroom, so I went to the front of the house. I saw him in the gardens outside the window.
