Page 14 of Coven Relics
This century was fascinating. The photos you could take on the cellphones intrigued me. I wanted to capture everything, but people on the social media sites my mother set up on my phone seemed more interested in pictures of me. I had so many womenandmen wanting to see my longsword. I figured out how messaging worked. Half of the time, when I received a new one, they didn’t even introduce themselves. It was usually just a photo of them naked.
Ilikedprivate parts. They felt good when you mashed them together with another person. But they weren’t the most attractive things in the world, and people were sending me closeups. What happened to everyone’s hair? They were bare below the waist, which was even so for the men who were sending me photos.
Bjorn and I were without women in our pocket dimension. I could have easily shifted and run to another realm to bed a woman, but I didn’t want to risk someone ratting me out to Odin. If I had just been born a sentient horse, I would have been well-treated and spoiled in his care. But I wasn’t, and Odin feared what Loki would do if he had access to someone like me. That was total cow shit because family was sacred to my mother.
It was annoying to use my hand constantly, and I was bitter about it for a while. But then, I grew up a bit. I told Bjorn when we got out that I wasn’t just going to bed the first willing woman I came across. And based on this social media app, even modern-day Saxon women wanted a piece of me.
There were several attractive women I could have gone and spent the night with, but I didn’t. I went to sleep. I didn’t just crave a warm body in my bed. Bjorn was like a brother to me, and we got each other through our time in the pocket dimension. After all that time with just the two of us, webothwanted meaningful connections with the next person we had sex with.
Plus, many of the people who wanted me to come over for that just seemed to like what I looked like. There was a time I would have been flattered by that, but I’d been alive long enough now to want more. I slept pretty peacefully that night for a man who went to bed alone.
When I awoke, the cottage was silent. Bjorn had fallen asleep on the couch, watching the box with the moving pictures. That made me curious, too. It was explained to me they took things like the stories we all used to tell in our day, and people could earn a lot of treasure by acting them out so people could watch them in little boxes. I might like to do that once we stopped Thorunn.
Bjorn wasn’t going to be moving until much later. We kept up with our fighting skills together, but we didn’t have to worry about gods, hybrids, or someone from another kingdom attacking us. Bjorn still took watch at night, and apparently, no one really did that in this century. There didn’t appear to be many threats here. Even the vampire who raised his fist to me wasn’t threatening violence. It was some strange bonding experience. I already apologized for punching him.
I was hungry, and I still didn’t understand how people cooked here. I got the big box had food in it, but not the other devices they used. Loki showed me something called a microwave to heat things up, but I didn’t really trust the damned thing. There were too many buttons, and I didn’t know how long I was supposed to put anything in there like I would a fire. And something told me the magic box would start one if you used it wrong.
Loki found me in the kitchen staring into the refrigerator. I was trying to findsomethingI could eat that didn’t require a fire. There were fruits and vegetables in here I’d never seen before.
“Sit,” Loki said, pointing at a stool. “I decided to make pancakes for breakfast. First, I’ll teach you how everything here works. Plenty of people stand there staring into the fridge, trying to figure out what to eat who were born in this century. I do it all the time because I don’t know what I’m in the mood for. Pancakes are versatile, and there are several ways to serve them. Ravyn strikes me as a chocolate-chip pancake kind of woman. We didn’t have chocolate in our time, and it's a beautiful thing. Some people say it’s better than sex. You should try it.”
“I don’t even know what a pancake is, much less chocolate.”
I wasn’t pouting like an infant. I found things about this century wholly strange, and I said I didn’t want to try. Boxers and cheeseburgers sounded like something you gave to someone you captured in battle but couldn’t kill yet for strategic purposes. My mother talked me into giving them a chance. The cheeseburger was absolutely amazing, and the boxers were comfortable. Even if Ithoughtit sounded awful, I decided I would still try it. I’d just like it explained to me first because I needed to learn.
“We had pancakes in our time, but these are a little different. You can eat them with chocolate, fruit, or different syrups. Chocolate is this divine creation from cacao beans. It’s mostly served as a dessert or snack, but it pairs well with many different things. I know you and I could travel anywhere we wanted back in our time, but now the rest of the world isn’t limited to horses and boats. Import and export make countries a lot of money. No one has to take their luxuries by force because you can easily buy them.”
“Sounds like life is easy now. You can get a woman in your bed just by posting a photo on social media. I didn’t, but I could have.”
“Life is just as difficult in different ways now. There will be people who treat you like a god because of your appearance. Youcouldgo home with one of the thirsty people on social media, and you’d probably have a good time. There’s no guarantee they wouldn’t secretly record it and release a video of the two of you having sex for fifteen minutes of fame.
“I have immense respect for sex workers and think it should be legal and safe. In this century, people have jobs making movies having real sex. In those cases, both partiesknowit’s going to be distributed, they are paid for it, and everything that is going to happen is discussed beforehand. I have zero respect for people that leak sex tapes without their partner’s permission. If you want to get famous for that kind of thing, you can become a porn star or set up anOnlyfans.I fully support that over revenge porn. If Loki doesn’t like revenge porn, youknowit’s bad, Sleipnir.”
I only understood half of that. I understood how recordings and movies worked, but I didn’t feel the need to make one having sex. I wasn’t that curious about what I looked like during the act, nor did I want to go back and revisit it later. Sometimes, people made stupid faces when they were getting their pleasure. The hybrids used to bring several bear shifters home to fornicate with, and they didn’t care who was watching. If I ever saw myself making faces like some of those bear shifters, I might never be able to get it up for sex again.
I understood one big thing about that. There were many forms of mischief Loki loved. Even back in our day, he was all about sexual freedom as long as it was between consenting adults. His plans got like the stories we told of heroes if it wasn’t. If anyone did this revenge porn thing to someone he cared about, Loki would utterly destroy them. Fuck, he might even do it if it happened to someone he didn’t even know.
It sounded like bedding women wasa lotmore complicated in this century than I thought, even if they offered on social media without knowing you. Loki had his say and changed the subject. He could conjure whatever food he wanted, and it always tasted amazing, but he insisted it tasted better if he cooked it himself. Loki conjured ingredients sometimes, and he did now.
I still wasn’t quite sure what a pancake was, but they smelled amazing. Loki tossed me a bag.
“That’s chocolate from Switzerland for the pancakes. Try a piece.”
I was curious. I had many favorite foods. That cheeseburger was terrific, but I didn’t think any of them were better than sex. The people that said that must not be having sex right. This was a square of brown, and it appeared to be melting all over my fingers. It reminded mea lotof poop. One of the bear shifters Thorunn was into had a thing for shit when they were fornicating. It was disgusting and got everywhere. I wasverysuspicious of Switzerland chocolate.
“Eat it, or it will melt and get everywhere.”
“It looks like when Oddr would visit Thorunn.”
“You know me better than to feed shit to the people I care about. If you’ll remember correctly, I didn’t kink shame Oddr about his fetish, but I told him he couldn’t do it inside anymore because people were complaining. So, I’m not putting poop in the pancakes, Sleipnir.”
I knew he wouldn’t, but I knew what it looked like, and even though it had been a long time, the memory of Oddr and Thorunn and the fact that they couldn’t be bothered to clean up after themselves was still fresh in my mind. So was the smell. Still, I said I would keep an open mind about new things.
I tossed it in my mouth and considered it. It melted on my tongue, and it definitely wasn’t a bad thing. It was sweet, creamy, and a flavor I wasn’t used to but definitely enjoyed. This was probably my favorite new thing about this century. But it still wasn’t better than sex.
“Ooh, pancakes,” Killian said, joining us in the kitchen.
I didn’t know him well, but I liked him. I wanted to get to know him. I wanted to get to know Ravyn, too. They didn’thaveto let us stay here and eat their food.
