Page 23 of Coven Relics
“I still don’t know what the Unseelie put in their tea, but it’s like you get really fucked up, go through withdrawals, then get the munchies. It’s like three totally different drugs, but no one has ever tried to make it illegal like the fun stuff or try to buy it off the Unseelie and sell it for a huge markup like the stuff you think is fun until you get addicted, and it ruins your life or kills you,” Loki said.
“I don’t know what that means, but it sounds terrible, and the Unseelie wouldn’t allow it. Show me to the goat,” Bjorn said.
I wasn’t obsessed with goat like Bjorn was, but I wouldn’t say no to some goat Rogan Josh. So, we were officially stopping this cuddle thing we had going on to eat.
Chapter17
Bjorn
I’d forgotten how potent Unseelie tea was, but it quickly came back to me. First, there was the euphoria. I felt amazing. I wasn’t feeling so happy that it didn’t completely gross me out that Thorunn’s dildo ended up in my tea. Back then, we didn’t bathe every day like people do now, but Loki was constantly telling Thorunn to wash because she’d put it off until our whole cottage stunk, and then she started convincing the other hybrids that bathing wasn’t natural. I would have laughed if it was any other dildo. Even though it was stone, that dildo was probably just as traumatized as I was after where it ended up.
After feeling very good, I felt like utter shit. But it wasn’t the same kind of shit you felt after a night of drinking mead, and you woke up with a pounding heading spewing nastiness from both ends. It was as if you fell into a frozen lake. You couldn’t get warm, and your muscles kept cramping. After a little nap, it would go away, but you felt like you hadn’t eaten in your entire life when you woke up.
The Unseelie who introduced me to this tea said the unpleasantness went away once you built up a tolerance to it. They cut me off before I could because I wouldn’t leave Loki, and I didn’t exactly know the recipe. It was some kind of fucked up rite of passage. Only the people who were willing to deal with all the nastiness this tea did to you were worth the visions. I’d only ever gotten one with this tea, and it was a multi-part one, and it was pretty significant. It involved what was happening now.
It meanta lotto me that Ravyn just offered to hop in bed with me and warm me up. She opened her home to us and had been feeding us, but she didn’t know Sleipnir and me very well. Sharing body heat could be more intimate than sex. Sleipnir and Loki were furious with Thorunn and the hybrids for refusing, but I never really connected with them. It was strange because I knew them way longer than I had known Ravyn, and there was a blooming connection.
But right now, I needed goat and a lot of it. I didn’t even care what Loki had done to it. Loki had never cooked bad goat before. When we left the bedroom, I could smell it. My stomach felt like it was eating itself. That smelledamazing.
Killian had set the table and lit candles. Ravyn walked over and kissed his cheek.
“You broke out the good plates for Bjorn’s goat feast to sober up.”
“Shit, yeah. They aren’t the only people who have never eaten goat Rogan Josh before. By the time I even heard of it, I was a bat. It smelled amazing every time you and Ripley ate it. I didn’t get fucked up on Unseelie tea, but I’m going todestroythis goat.”
Sleipnir must have finally understood this whole fist bumping custom that was done in the modern day because he raised his for Killian to bump. Killian smirked and bumped his fist. What a threatening way to agree with something.
We all took our seats and started serving ourselves. I had no idea what it tasted like, but I put a lot of it on my plate. Sleipnir and Killian did, too. I liked Killian, but I hadn’t really thought about some of the things we had in common. Of course, our circumstances were totally different, but Killian had to get used to this century, too. He’d been here longer than we had, but there were many things he didn’t get to experience because he was a familiar.
There were a good bit of moans around the table as we took our first bite. I didn’t know who this grandmother was in Kashmir or even where that was, but she should be exalted and praised for her magic with goat.
“You didn’t sleep as long this time,” Loki said.
I honestly couldn’t remember, but Loki would. Loki and Sleipnir looked after me when I would drink it. Sleipnir started giggling.
“That’s because Bjorn didn’t get to finish his tea. A ghost put Thorunn’s dildo in it.”
Ravyn and Killian groaned.
“If you’re going to drink anything in the warehouse, it needs a lid. I forgot to tell you. All the buildings on this site are haunted as fuck. The ghosts mostly act up at the Academy of the Profane, but we have some pranksters here, too. Phillip is the literal worst. He has this thing with the dildos and people’s drinks.”
“That was one of the good things about being British and stuck as a bat. Phillip couldn’t assault my tea. I don’t care what Americans say. Making tea in the microwave is just as bad as random dildos in your tea,” Killian said.
“I’m not even British, and I agree. Please tell me you don’t make tea in the microwave, Ravyn,” Loki said.
“Did you not see the kettles in my kitchen and the warehouse? Ripley and I got our familiars kind of like how the Spice Girls hit America in the nineties. Of course, we both know better.”
“We all have a little bit of each Spice Girl in us, but Scary Spice was always my favorite,” Loki said.
Sleipnir went totally pale and stopped eating. We’d all been shoveling food into our faces, but it took a lot to get between Sleipnir and goat.
“You said this was goat and spices. Are there girls in this?”
I stopped eating, too, because that was a damned good question. Of course, Loki wouldn’t do that before, but we’d also been separated a very long time, and the world had changed a lot.
“The Spice Girls were a trendy girl band that are completely unrelated to the spices used in cooking. They are musicians.”
Excellent. This goat was glorious, and I really didn’t want to stop eating it. So, Sleipnir and I just shrugged and started shoveling food in our faces again.
