Page 26 of The White Stag
“Not if he’s been eating at home,” Finnan giggled. “He’s going to have to wait out his own detox if he’s figured out that he’s powerless. If not, Reagan can get her revenge, and no one can say a damned thing about it.”
“It’s too much of a risk,” Oisin said. “I agree that Reagan deserves her revenge, but we don’tknowif Alastair is powerless, and we don’t have time to train Reagan to use her magic.”
“Hello, bitches! What am I? Fire slug dung? I’m here, fierce, and I’m trained in my magic. I hate that little asshole too. I can stay behind and help protect her,” Tucker said.
I shot Tucker a grateful look. I didn’t want to be afraid for the rest of my life. I needed to see Alistair die. Fuck, I wanted to be the one to do it, but I understood that might not happen. I needed closure, and I needed it to be permanent.
“I get it, Reagan,” Cyrus said. “If it were up to me, I’d let Tucker look after you while we took care of it. We’d knock Alastair out and bring him here so you could do whatever you needed to get closure. It’s not up to any of us, and Tucker knows this. It’s up to our queen.”
Oisin picked up my head and put it in his lap so he could start playing with my hair.
“It’s true. We’d do anything for you, but Estrella would be furious if something went wrong, and you got hurt. Unfortunately, we don’t have enough information to do this. Cyrus lost the ability to track Alastair when he left the States. We know he’s coming, but we don’t know when.”
“Even if Alastair is public enemy number one, we won’t leave his body at the border,” Finnan said. “His parents are going to want it back. Even during war, both sides are allowed to collect their dead and bring them home. Both courts are drastically different, but we can agree on that.
“We’d bring his body back to the Unseelie Court until his parents spoke to Nova to find out why it happened. Then he’d be brought home for burial. So while you wouldn’t be there while it was happening, you’d be able toseethat he’s dead. I know it’s not the same, but it’s the best we can do if Estrella wants you home.”
“It’s not the same. It’s totally not the same,” Tucker said. “She doesn’t just want him dead. Reagan wants to unload on the bitch.”
I did. I had things to say, and I wanted him alive when I said them. But I also really wanted to look him in the eye and break his nose. I had feelings I wanted to take out on his face.
“Shut the fuck up, Tucker,” Cyrus growled. “You’ve literally known Reagan for an hour. You don’t get to have opinions that put her life in danger.”
“He’s right, though,” I pointed out.
Yeah, Tucker and I had just met, but he got me. I adored my monsters, and I was pretty sure those feelings were romantic. But they’d started out as my bodyguards, and I had a feeling they would always do what they thought they needed to do to keep me safe, even if what I actually needed might put me in danger. Tucker was a friend, and he got that.
“We know he’s right,” Oisin said. “We don’t want to take that away from you either. Your mother definitely doesn’t. Remember what we told you about Unseelie culture? No one is going to try to speak for you, and wewantyou to have your say. But not at the expense of your life. We’ll ask Estrella, but the final word is hers.”
“I know you’ve got some feelings to get all over Alastair, but if you want a chance to stay behind like you want, you might want to get some on your mum,” Finnan said.
He was right. If I wanted to eliminate one of my fears, I would have to face another. It was time to talk to my mother.
Cyrus
Why was everyone here working against me on this? Fucking Tucker literallyjustgot here. He didn’t get to have opinions on her safety. Tucker was only allowed to have thoughts on her eyeliner. Reagan needed friends, and Tucker was the best stylist in the Unseelie Court, even being as young as he was, but if he kept opening his stupid mouth and putting her in danger, I’d kick his ass back over the border with zero regrets.
I wanted Reagan to talk to her mother because she was ready to get to know her. After everything the two of them had gone through, they deserved that. Reagan was the most essential thing in my life, but Estrella had all my respect. Their first time talking after being apart like this shouldn’t be over webcam, and if it had to go down like that, it shouldn’t be with Reagan only doing it so she could beg Estrella to stay behind and risk her life.
I already knew how that conversation would go, despite Finnan shooting his fucking mouth off and encouraging this. Estrella would have been thrilled to let Reagan take her revengeifshe had been used to her magic and was thoroughly trained. She wasn’t. Some Fae marks weren’t super evident at identifying what kinds of Fae people were if they were more humanoid than the three of us. Reagan’s royal mark was slowly coming in, but I couldn’t see any type of Fae mark, and she’d been quite comfortable being naked around us pretty often.
Why was I the only Fae here that saw how dangerous this was? She could barely walk right now, and there was one thing none of us were saying because we didn’t want to scare her. Reagansaidshe wanted to be here but might not have a choice. Her Fae side might not awaken before Alastair made his move.
We were all hoping like fuck it did, and she was safe with Estrella when that happened, but we just didn’tknow.Reagan wasn’t scared now, but she could be once she found that out.
We sat outside a bit longer. It was so peaceful out here. I wanted it to be like this for her all the time. Reagan was meant to do whatever made her happy, and that had been taken from her. We heard her stomach rumble. It could have been the detox, or it could have been that she was hungry. Finnan swooped into action.
“Are you hungry, love?”
“I think I am. And I’m feeling better after sitting in the sun.”
Reagan rolled over and tried to get to her feet. She managed a little better than before, but she was still moving like a satyr who had too much to drink. I snarled at Oisin when he went to pick her up. It was my turn this time. He wasn’t my blood, but he was still my brother. I’d still rip his fucking antlers off if he didn’t share. Oisin backed off and held his hands up.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and rubbed her face in my chest when I scooped her up. It just felt so fucking nice, and Iwas nota snuggler. Never had been, but this was making me think I should give it another chance. I was doing this because she needed it, and I wanted to be the one to do it while ignoring every single reason I shouldn’t be enjoying it.
She got mad at us when she thought we still viewed her as a child, but trust me, that wasn’t it. We could all tell she’d grown the fuck up. Even looking completely mortal when we found her, she was utterly gorgeous. We were going to be completely helpless when she was fully Fae.
I brought her inside and set her at the table. I sat there watching her as Finnan cooked and Oisin and Tucker joked around with her. That would never be me. I said what needed to be said, and I didn’t particularly care about trying to be funny. So, I said nothing, watched, and sat deep in my thoughts.
