Page 8 of The White Stag
“Shit yeah. Yesterday was your birthday. I’m guessing that body-shaming fuck face didn’t get you one. Do you like goat cheese?”
“Alastair wouldn’t let me have cheese. He said it would make me break out and—”
“Gain weight,” Finnan said. “I hate him. We’re all going to get so fat now that we’re here. It’s going to be a fuck-you fat, and it will be glorious.”
“We can get fat later. Can I finish?” Cyrus said.
“I’m not Kanye. I’m not stopping you.”
“Your parents sent you to the mortal realm, but they didn’t send you alone. We were your protection. Humans might think it’s adorable when a boy maims a girl in the schoolyard and tries to call it a crush, but that doesn’t fly where we’re from. You bled, and you needed stitches. I haunted under his bed until he became a bed wetter. I warned him if he ever pulled that shit again, I’d be back, and it would be worse.”
“Why hasn’t anyone killed Alastair? Is someone going to?”
“That’s complicated. The Unseelie want him dead for trying to take their court by force through you. They are all angry their princess got sent away because of him. It’s the Seelie that’s the problem. He’s a total shit, but he would eventually be their king. They only wanted him banished and handling their interests in the mortal realm because he promised to be a good boy.
“We’ve been at peace with the Seelie Court for a long time. There have been long wars before, and neither side won. Innocent people died and resources got destroyed until both sides had forgotten why they were fighting in the first place. Eventually, they realized the whole thing was pointless and called a truce. That’s what we would be dealing with if we killed the Seelie queen’s deranged crotch fruit, and she didn’t know it was coming.”
“I want him to pay for what he did to me.”
“And he will. You’ll claim your place in the Unseelie Court and tell people in your own words what he did to you. It’s different in the Seelie Court, but on the Unseelie side, people hate it when men try to speak for women, even if they aren’t a princess. We reported to your parents that you were missing, and we were certain Alastair had you, but as far as everything that happened in that house, they will want it directly from you. The Seelie are still neck-deep in the patriarchy and won’t believe a word of it unless it comes from your father, but theywillknow about it,” Cyrus said.
“No offense, Reagan. You make a gorgeous human, but youcannotgo home mortal. It’s going to be shitty, but we need to wean you off those iron pills and teach you how to be Fae before you return. We’re right at the border of the Unseelie kingdom. Alastair can’t track you through your medical records anymore, and he’d be stupid to get this close to our border,” Oisin said.
I could vividly remember how bad I felt when I went without these pills. It felt like I was dying. I didn’t particularly ever want to feel that again, but now that I knew the truth, how could I ever swallow one again?
“Toss them. I’ll do this the hard way.”
Finnan and Oisin floated over with massive amounts of mac and cheese. Cyrus got up and pulled a gorgeous cake out of the fridge. I planned to destroy every bit of it, but Finnan had other ideas. My pill bottle was almost full. It had just been refilled, and I’d barely taken any of it.
I didn’t care if Finnan tossed it, but he had other ideas. He swirled his index finger over the cap, and green magic seeped into the bottle. Every last one of those pills disappeared.
“We can’t kill him, but I can ruin his life, pet,” Finnan laughed.
“What did you do?”
“Someone tricked you by sneaking these pills into your food when you were a kid. All that bastard’s food is now tainted. He’s not going to notice until he’s nice and fucked up. It takes a few days for it to get into your system. He’ll figure it out when he can’t get his glamor up to appear human at work and to his staff and can’t leave his house. It’s only fair if you have to have a shite time detoxing off of those pills, that he should too.”
I started laughing. That was perfect.
“Isn’t his Seelie mommy going to get mad about that?”
All three monsters just grinned at me.
“I’m a Bauchan. I’m supposed to be helpful to a point, but even the Seelie doesn’t expect me to behave. His stupid mother will be grateful I only made him uncomfortable for a little while. I could have played by mortal rules and fucked his shit up for about twenty years for what he did to you. Now, let’s get fat.”
I’d never been concerned with my body and ate what I wanted. After being controlled by someone who was, Finnan was right. I was going todestroythis food and still eat some of that gorgeous cake.
Finnan
There was nothing sexier than watching a woman put away massive amounts of food. Especially if I was the one who cooked it. Reagan had grown into a beautiful woman, and even though Alastair tried to make her something she wasn’t, she was still Unseelie right to the core and wanted vengeance.
Reagan made little joyful noises as she ate both dishes we prepared for her, but I already knewmymac and cheese was superior to anything out of a box. She raved about it to both of us, but I’d made a roux and used four different kinds of cheeses instead of squeezing orange shite out of a packet. Mine was better.
Reagan leaned back in her chair and rubbed her belly.
“I feel like I’m never going to eat again, but I definitely want a piece of that cake.”
“Good, because it’s chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate. I made it because it was your birthday, and you always liked chocolate, but now that I know that fuck face wouldn’t let you eat it, I want to add even more chocolate to it.”
