Page 44 of Battle of Witches
“I’m a primordial, and everyone fears me, but I’m much less trouble than these two dickheads. I’m here to fetch a troublesome essence and return to my realm. Speaking of, realm travel makes me hungry, so if you’re planning on feeding me, let’s get on with it. I’m still very vegetarian and have no plans to change that.”
“Why didn’t you just grab her essence the first time she died?” I asked.
“Cosmic loophole. I’ll be happy to explain over food. I get very cranky when I’m hungry.”
So, Death was kind of a hangry god, and it was kind of adorable. I was alsodyingto hear about this cosmic loophole and get to eat dinner with Death. There was a popular restaurant near the museum that delivered that did vegetarian comfort food we could order. I was in the mood for their eggplant lasagna and was pretty hangry, too. My stomach let out a huge noise to let everyone know that too.
“Right,” Loki said. “We need some rites and food. So, I’ll get right on that.”
“And hopefully, this is the last of the drama from you twins,” Kaine said.
Girl, same. I’d had my fill of fates and drama at this point. I was ready for a long segment of boredom in my life.
Chapter35
Ravyn
Now that I wasn’t worried about stupid ex-boyfriends and evil hybrids, I could get back to doing what I did best—geeking out about learning new things. I knew the rites for every supernatural race that existed. That was a whole semester in high school. Ididn’tknow the rites for a hybrid, and I’d never seen Death or a reaper collect an essence before.
The rites for Asfrid were like a combination for that of shifters and witches with little tweaks. She went full poltergeist trying to stop him, but there wasn’t much she could do as a ghost. She’d been a ghost for a long time before, so she’d figured out how to move small things, but there wasn’t much in Scooter’s front yard she could attack us with.
I totally fangirled when Ezra held out their hand, and this massive scythe appeared. I didn’t know much about Death. I knew they appeared in every culture with a different name and mythology. No one knew for sure because only the dead had met them, and if you brought someone back with necromancy, they remembered nothing about what happened after they died.
Ezra slammed their scythe into the ground, and Asfrid’s ghost was forcibly ripped from behind the bushes. She was fighting and chanting in Old Norse. I was reasonably certain she was trying to curse us on her way out, but it didn’t work like that. Ezra pulled this really ornate bottle out of their trench coat, and Asfrid’s ghost just kind of sucked into it. That was handy. I wanted a ghost jar.
Ezra whispered into their scythe, and a dark-skinned girl with a smaller scythe appeared in a puff of smoke.
“Be a peach and take this to the time-out room, Narin. You’re one of the few I trust with this. I’m going to catch up with some old friends, but I should be back for the staff meeting.”
“You got it, boss.”
As soon as she disappeared, Ezra turned to us.
“If I was hungry before, I’m starving now. Someone needs to feed me.”
“I know the perfect place to order from. We can eat at my place,” I said.
“I’ll pay,” Loki said. “You wouldn’t know it from looking at Ezra, but they eat more than Reyson.”
“That’s because my job burns more calories than your job, asshole.”
“I think we’re all hungry and want to celebrate Asfrid being gone for good. And Ravyn isn’t the only one who wants to talk to Ezra about cosmic loopholes and other things,” Killian said.
“And Ezra loves new victims to talk to about that. Grab onto me, and I’ll take us home.”
We were back in my living room. Finally, my cottage felt like home again. Valentine knew where I lived, so Asfrid and her people did, too. I had magical wards all the way to the end of my property, really protective ghosts that haunted my yard, and a god sleeping in my bed, but these people had shown time and time again that they didn’t exactly operate on logic.
Valentine was in jail, Asfrid was in a jar, and her followers had either abandoned her or were in prison. My cottage and museum were safe again. I even had a new head for the museum.
I gave Loki the name of the restaurant, and he pulled it up on his phone. He passed it around while we all ordered what we wanted. Ezra was looking peckish. They were a little paler than when I first saw them, and they were sprawled on my chair like if we didn’t feed them soon, they would take us all to the Aether.
I had snacks. I enjoyed a big-ass bloody burger as much as the next girl, but I also really liked vegetarian food. A ton of different cultures ate a primarily vegetarian diet, and I wanted to eat all their food. I had plenty of snacks for Ezra. They looked grateful when I laid them on the table.
“So, I don’t get to talk about cosmic loopholes much with people in this realm. My realm has schools, and I teach classes there about it. We have reapers who help bring essences to the Aether, but there are also scholars who help me research things I’ve been trying to find the answers to since I was created.”
Nerds in Death’s realm? I needed to meet them. I’d never gotten to geek out in another realm before. The idea made me kind of horny.
“What were the questions?” Killian asked.
