Page 17 of The Goddess is Fierce
“How amIdoing? How areyoudoing? I’ve known I was a god this entire time. My parents prepared me for taking off my necklace. I expected most of what happened today. You had no way of knowing any of this was going to happen when you asked me to bring you to Azren.”
“No, but Azren could have said anything and I wouldn’t have expected it. I can’t really process being a god who got murdered and resurrected because I don’t remember any of that. You might be used to being a god, butI’mused to being treated a certain way because I’m different. I’d rather talk about how you’re feeling with everything. It’s a big change for you. I was in the dining hall in the shadows when everything went down. Iknowyou weren’t intending on showing everyone what you were. That girl forced you to because she hurt your boyfriend. The potion she threw at you couldn’t hurt you, but I would imagine what happened after did.”
I didn’t know what went on during Baldur’s blackouts. He didn’t either. I hadn’t been around bad people like Gabriel had to feel what my dad said bad people gave off and Baldur didn’t. But my momandmy dad always told me to trust my gut and right now, it was screaming Baldur didn’t kill anyone.
Everyonewho knew him before said he was a pacifist and embodied everything a light god should. He might not remember any of that, but I think literally everyone I knew would be blaming the person who killed them for the situation Baldur found himself in. Loki had alotof guilt about killing him and probably would just stand there and let Baldur do what he wanted if Baldur wanted to beat his ass.
Baldur knew who killed him. He knew he was literally within walking distance of that person. He didn’t walk over there and confront him. I’d seen him on campus doing his usual maintenance job and now he wanted to talk aboutmyfeelings. Baldur might not have the powers or memories of a God of Light, but that’s totally what a God of Light would do. If he wasn’t over there trying to beat my Uncle Loki’s ass, he wasn’t killing witches.
“It wasn’t too bad,” I said. “I only had it on because they weren’t sure if one of the idiot gods who don’t like those of us who were born instead of made were going to kidnap me until they could figure out my weakness. I kept it on because I didn’t want people to treat me differently from my twin. Yeah, Kayleeforcedme to take it off or let Oscar be hurt longer to keep it, but it was time. I might get kicked off the dodgeball team, but everything else was expected.”
“Zion Skinner isn’t going to let that happen,” Baldur said. “He’s always been kind to me. He saw me catch a glass that was falling off the table and told me it was unfortunate the league wouldn’t let me play dodgeball because I had the reflexes for it. We’ve been friends since.”
“Ha! I knew he was a big softy!”
Seriously. He was an unorthodox magical combat teacher. The dodgeball playerslovedhis class. If we weren’t sparring, he’d put us through the wringer until someone complained, and then they had to use their magic tomakehim let us stop.Zion rarely complimented us. If someone pulled off something amazing, he’d congratulate us for being passable and not embarrassing him by dying in a magic fight after we graduated.
But Zion was also supportive as shit and rarely said anything about it. The cheerleaders didn’t know he helped Azren get the board to approve their team because he didn’t want credit. I knew because Azren and I were together.
Anyone might have thought Zion was fighting to keep me on the dodgeball team because Michael and I together could win games, but I knew it was more than that. He carried on magical combat like it was any other day and he would have known I wasn’t a witch because he had that letter. I usually loved it whentheZion Skinner acknowledged me in class, but it meant a lot he focused on everyonebutme after my secret was out.
And now that I knew he had befriended Baldur when everyone thought he was just that guy in maintenance who felt weird to be around?
Total softy.
“Don’t let him fool you. He loves teaching and coaching dodgeball. After he retired, the only options they gave him were doing commentary at games. They thought he was going to be insulting and they could profit from it if he caused a scandal. He knew that and he hated it. Zion wanted to coach, but they wouldn’t hire him. He eats lunch with me when he can and all he talks about are his students and the dodgeball team.”
Baldur had this little twinkle in his eye. I honestly had no idea Zion had befriended Baldur. I loved everything about that, and it seemed to mean a lot to Baldur because he probably didn’t have a lot of those here. I mean, IsaidI was going to do it when he delivered our luggage and then I got wrapped up in everything and forgot about it until he approached me.
“Zion’s secret is safe with me. Not his friendship with you, the whole actually liking us part.”
Baldur was probably bigger than my dad, but he looked nervous as hell for a minute.
“Zion is one of the only friends I’ve ever had at the Academy of the Profane and I’ve been here several times over the last few hundred years. Do you think that’s going to change if I tell him who I am and what I might have done?”
“You know him better than I do, but he didn’t treat me any differently in class and the only reason he even acknowledged I’m a god at dodgeball practice was because some warlock at another school tried to get me kicked off the team because of it. I think he’ll be happy for you that you figured out who you are.
“As for the murders, my dad has been around a lot of bad people. He said it leaves a mark behind you can feel. Even if you don’t remember, he knows what it feels like. Gabriel said it’s masked because your magic is missing, but you feel like a good person.
“And I don’t think it’s you either. I adore my Uncle Loki. He’s an amazing dad and a supportive uncle. He’s tried to help me with god stuff and he helped my sister’s girlfriend fight her homophobic parents just because he adores my twin. We all know what he did to you. I’m not excusing him, but I know he was hurt and lashing out.
“If you walked across the lawn and beat the shit out of him, he would let you. He’d tell his whole family not to interfere, and they’d listen. I wouldn’tlikewatching my Uncle Loki get the shit beaten out of him, but I’d get it if you did it and I wouldn’t stop you if he told me not to. None of this would be happening if you hadn’t been murdered. You haven’t spoken a single bad word about my uncle. That’s a God of Light thing, even if you don’t remember being one. The guy that is butchering witches would have gotten revenge if it was you.
“Maybe tell Zion who you are, but leave out the rest. The people who knew you before don’t think it’s you. Gabriel hasbeen around the new you for years andhedoesn’t think it’s you. I grew up with a lot of witches and warlocksandthe god who created them. They are big on intuition, andIdon’t think you did it. Muninn is going to give your memories back and then you’ll know that, too.”
“Thanks, George. Is it weird I always seem to feel better when I’m near you?”
“Probably no weirder than me feeling drawn to you. When you get your memories back, we actually have a lot in common. We’re both born gods with big families and loving parents. When we’d visit Odin on vacation, he’d always laugh at Michael and me and he say Michael always reminded him of the angel version of your brother Thor when he was younger. Michael and I were born with magic so we had to assert dominance by beating the crap out of each other when we were little. If we broke something expensive, my mom was always mortified, and Odin always said it reminded him of his kids. I think he was talking about you and Thor.”
“I feel more comfortable with you than I do with Odin. He’s trying, but he wanted to follow me all over campus and do all my duties with magic. The only thing he told me that made sense in all this was when he said I always used to like working with my hands and I used to do wood carvings. I actually still do that. I made you something. Stay here.”
Baldur disappeared for a bit. He came back with a blanket and something in his hand. Baldur wrapped me in the blanket because it was still pretty cold outside. It smelled like him. Baldur smelled like bergamot and black tea. It was a cozy scent that drew me in. He looked like he was embarrassed about what he wanted to give me.
Baldur thrust his hand out. There was this gorgeous wood carving in his hand. It was an effigy of me kneeling next to a Hellhound. It was beautiful, and it meant so much to me that heincluded my twin in the carving. He looked like he was terrified I wasn’t going to like it, but I loved it. Some guys didn’t accept that my twin was such a major part of my life and didn’t like that she was such a strong woman.
My twin came with me. Matilda and Baldur hadn’t had that many interactions and what little they did have, she’d mostly sided with Mags that I should be a little more suspicious of him until he got his memories back. A lot of that had gone down right in front of Baldur and he still included her in the carving because he could tell how close we were and he didn’t hold it against her.
And the big teddy bear looked like he would be devastated if I hated it. I jumped up and wrapped him in a huge hug. I’d honestly been wanting to do that for a while, and he looked like he needed it. The carving was perfect. Witheverythinggoing on with him, he chose to make this for me.
