Page 11 of Whiskey, Thieves, and Bastards
Persephone and I had gotten up to alotof trouble during her six months out of the Underworld. I had some pretty fucked up ideas, but hers bordered on unhinged. And I’d been around Persephone long enough to know that her plotsalwaysworked, especially if they involved her magic.
Hannibal finally appeared on a podium in full monsignor garb standing next to this politician I frankly couldn’t stand. Most of them at least pretended to distance themselves from the Coalition, even if they were secretly in bed with them. Not the Gold Party. Hating supernaturals was their whole damned platform. If Persephone’s plot made him look like an idiot, too, that was just a maraschino cherry in this ambrosia salad.
“Wow, I thought the Smurf priest thing was just one of Benji’s weird nicknames, but that guy is definitely blue,” Dionysus said.
“I used to date this werewolf in the seventies who was always complaining about blue balls if I didn’t want to fuck him. I told him that was a myth, but Hannibal always reminded me of sentient blue balls when he started coming down to the basement,” Jezebel said.
I loved her. And I was finally seeing more of Hannibal than just his hand. He looked like a weird blue toad on a power trip. Like seriously, the whole kissing the frog and it turning into a prince thing had some historical context. Witches like Pax used to do that if you pissed them off. Hannibal looked like someone kissed him and he didn’t change back right.
Saul Wood was considered a firebrand in the Senate to the people who liked the Gold Party and a pain in the ass to everyone else. He had to get supernatural shit inserted into every bill or he voted against it.
I already knew why he was here—Power. If Hannibal told a harrowing tale about being the sole survivor of a massacre at a Coalition facility and lied about the details instead of saying he left his people to die while escaping out of a secret passage, it would be all over the news.
People would forget the testimonies about what was done to us there andwhywe would kill to escape. They wouldn’t think self-defense. He’d use it to further his political career. He’d already had two failed runs for president. I was betting he could taste his ass in the Oval Office if this went how they both expected.
Saul took the podium first. He gripped the edges and lowered his head. He looked demented when he finally looked up to address the crowd and the reporters.
“Friends, I’ve been telling you about the dangers of supernaturals throughout my political career and before. I’ve been fighting the good fight and trying to keep the Coalition running, but two weeks ago, Galen Talbot submitted a bill to criminalize their group and it seems to have a lot of support. I don’t know about you, but Icareabout religious freedom.
“For those of you that think the Coalition goes beyond that because of what the supernaturals have lied about, I have my good friend here to tell youexactlywhy the Coalition is needed. Monsignor Hannibal has been a mentor to me. He’s a great man who has donenothingbut try to heal people like Jesus did. I’m going to let him take over and tell you what thosemonstersdid at New Eden Asylum, which didn’t just house several innocent nuns and priests. It was the very first Coalition facility in this country and is a registered historic landmark. I’m going to let him take over.”
Benji whipped his phone out and was whistling the Benny Hill theme song. I leaned over.
“What are you doing?”
Cas rolled his eyes.
“Benji has over six million followers because he’s funny and insanely pretty. I’m guessing he’s starting something.”
“Rude,” Benji said, sticking his tongue out. “I’mhelping.I just suggested I’ve never heard of New Eden Asylum in my life and I think they are gaslighting us. Should I go live?”
“Do you want to miss this? Because we don’t. Maybe after,” Pax said.
“Good call. I want popcorn.”
Benji shrieked when a box of movie popcorn and a bottle of wine appeared on the table. Then he just shrugged and grabbed the popcorn and wine.
“I’m over it. Get your own popcorn and wine. I’m only sharing with Medusa.”
“Girl, same,” Dionysus said, conjuring more wine and popcorn.
“That’s a neat trick,” Calamity said.
“What do you want, little demon?”
“Fried pickles?”
“Done. Now, everyone, hush. This is my favorite movie.”
Hannibal ambled up to the podium and tried to make himself look like this long-suffering martyr.
“You think he’s still shitting himself?” Kat asked.
“Moon goddess, I hope so,” Benji said. “That was my best work.”
“It really was,” Cas growled, pulling Benji into a kiss.
“Shh. Hannibal is talking,” Hephaestus said.
