Page 18 of Whiskey, Thieves, and Bastards
“Well, I’m a people pleaser with a praise kink. Iknowyou shouldn’t drive a boat and drink, but I got him some localLouisiana beer just in case he’s into that. Do you think he’ll like me?”
I pulled Benji into a hug.
“Charon pretends to hate everyone if he actually talks. I’ll tell you a secret. If he talks to you, he secretly likes you.”
“Damn. That’s a hell of a boat,” Cas said, letting out a low whistle.
Yeah. Charon’s boat looked like the embodiment of a Greek ferry for the dead got freaky with a Viking raiding ship. It was badass as shit. Everyone assumed Charon looked like the Grim Reaper and carried a scythe, but that wasn’t him. He was a tall, thin older man who wore a hood, but if he knew you, Charon said the hood was fucking hot in summer and took it off. He wasn’t scary at all under the hood.
Since I told him I had strangers with me, he had the hood up. Plus, it was cool out, so he wasn’t going to take it off. I got it. Charon maneuvered the boat to the dock and held out a boney hand.
“You know what I want.”
Dionysus handed him the poutine from his favorite shop in Canada. Benji pushed forward and started passing bags over.
“Natchitoches has the best meat pies, so I went there. Then, I went to New Orleans for a Doberge cake and picked up some local Louisiana beer. I hope you like it.”
Charon just grunted.
“In the boat. My show is on.”
“Ooh, what show?” Benji asked.
“I’m binge watchingDesigning Women.”
“All hail Suzanne Sugarbaker.”
“Isn’t that on streaming services because it’s been off the air so long?” Pax asked.
Charon blew a raspberry at Pax.
“Pbbbt. Your logic has no place here.”
“Of course not. I’m co-mated to a fucking god and I’m on the ferry to the Underworld being driven by a guy who is really into meat pies andDesigning Women.”
Charon let out a hoarse laugh.
“Well, when you put it that way. But perhaps you didn’t notice the ghosts of all the people I left on the shore because they didn’t take my payment seriously.”
“I’m blind.”
“Shit. Sorry.”
Pax blew a raspberry back at Charon.
“I’m still a warlock. I canfeelthem.”
Charon let out a chuckle that sounded like sandpaper.
“I like your friends, Medusa.”
“You should try the meat pies,” Cas said. “Benji takes us to Louisiana once a year. That’s where the Coalition snatched him. He ended up near me, so they separated him from his parents. We don’t know if they are still in Louisiana or even still alive, but we go once a year to look and pig out.”
“Shh. Don’t get between a ferryman and his poutine. I’m not sharing the cake with anyone but Julia Sugarbaker, so you should have brought extra if you wanted some.”
“That was just for you. When Medusa tries Doberge cake, it’s going to be when I poof her to New Orleans after this is over.”
“Yeah, I do like your friends, but I’m not bringing any of you to the Underworld again unless you bring the same payment. Coins are so thousands of years ago. I insisted on paying Hades for the house he gave me. I have everything I want now except certain kinds of food.”
