Page 51 of Whiskey, Thieves, and Bastards
“Hannibal will get what’s coming to him. So will Saul. If she can tweak her fury powers, her plan will work. That’ll take care of the government. We just don’t know if the angels will respond. The Coalition has been outlawed in several countries and they haven’t shown up,” Dionysus said.
Yeah, that. Angels were supernatural creatures just like I was. Meaning humans self-actualized them. We still didn’t knowwhythey started all this nonsense. We could scream from the rooftops that they were just like us and had lied about everything, but we were fighting against centuries of belief.
Weneededthe angels to show up so we could prove that.
Iwoke up before Pax. I was born during a time people rose with the sun to feed livestock and take care of crops before it got dark. There were times I slept in, especially if I was exhausted, but sometimes my body still thought it was a Greek peasant and woke up grotesquely early. Getting back to sleep was sometimes impossible, especially if I was stressed.
I usually went to one of Dionysus’s gardens to gather what I needed to make tea, brewed a nice cup, and then cooked this big elaborate breakfast that was ready when Dionysus woke up. We tended to spoil each other, and I had a feeling it was going to be like that with Cas, Pax, and Benji.
They’d been cooking for me, massaging my feet and back, and snuggling with me when I needed it. I was feelingmuchstronger with the ambrosia I’d been eating. I was going to make them a huge feast.
I padded out into the garden, but I could hear someone talking. It sounded like Benji. I didn’t know why he was awake or what he was doing out here, so I used my fury magic to portal to him. Benji shrieked and put his hand over his heart. Then, he fell out laughing.
“Fuck, is that what it feels like when people aren’t expecting a shadow demon to show up? That’s fucking hilarious. I nearly shit my pants. I’m going to have to do that alotmore often.”
He was sitting in front of a pretty, fancy smaller cabin and talking to two cats. One was black, and the other was orange.
“Who are your friends?”
“This is the Feral Shack. I built it for the freeloading degenerate cats that keep showing up. This is Lilith Murder Mittens and Shitlord McButtstuff.”
I smiled because I knew people took cat names to weird places, but I had questioned.
“How did one get named after a fierce god and the other get stuck with Shitlord?”
“Um, because one is a girl and the other is a boy. That’s legally how you’re supposed to name them.”
“I don’t think that’s how it works, Benji.”
“Maybe not, but this one is totally a Shitlord. He’s got air conditioning and a memory foam mattresses in there and he’s still an ungrateful little asshole.”
“I think little Shitlord is your favorite.”
Benji pounced and covered my mouth with his hand.
“Shh. Don’t give him any ideas. He wants to move into the big house but he likes messing with snakes and I don’t want the graphic murder scene I had to clean up going down with Pax’s familiar.”
“Pax’s familiar is a little bigger than the average garden snake.”
Pax’s familiar was a python. I’d wonder how a python ended up in this valley, but she was a familiar, so she was magical.
“I don’t want Pax’s familiar murdering Shitlord either. I know what she eats. Lilith is Shitlord’s girlfriend. She’dneverforgive me if I let him be snake food.”
I had Benji pegged. He loved those cats, even if he pretended like he didn’t.
“What are you doing up? Sometimes, my sleep schedule thinks it’s still Ancient Greece, so I was going to make everyone breakfast. Want to sit and chat with me while I cook? I’ll make you tea.”
“Will you break up with me if I told you I keep trying to like tea, but I only like it with lots of sugar and Boba unless it’s magical and I’m going to get something out of it? Iwouldlove to sit and talk to you while I drink coffee, though.”
“Good to know. I promise, I’ll only make you tea if it’s sugared up with boba. I’m pretty good at that.”
Benji leaned forward and kissed Lilith and Shitlord on the head.
“Be good little degenerates. I know you want to be wild and free, but poop in the litter box instead of the garden. It ruins everyone’s day when we try to pull a weed and grab a cat turd. I know you think that shit is funny, but it’s only funny when it happens to Pax or Cas. I’m at risk of getting cat shit on my hands, too, and that’s morally reprehensible.”
I knew I could easily walk back to the kitchen, and I often took walks to clear my head and center myself. I still portalled to the kitchen because I was trying to practice this new ability and frankly, because it was still pretty cool that I could do it in the first place.
Benji appeared next to me in a cloud of smoke and went straight to the coffee machine.
