Page 9 of Whiskey, Thieves, and Bastards
“Cerberus wasmuchcuter than their dog,” Persephone sniffed.
Persephone was deranged about that fucking dog. It had three heads, spikes on his tail, and if she slipped him people food, he farted fire. And shealwayssnuck him food from her plate. She told everyone she couldn’t help it because she wasn’tjust dealing with one set of puppy dog eyes. She was dealing with three.
He was agreatdog. Playful, loyal, and good at his job but he definitely wasn’t cute. Cerberus guarded the entrance to the Underworld for a reason. If you weren’t someone he liked and didn’t know he had a weakness for belly rubs and pig’s feet, he looked like your worst nightmare.
“Yes! I had no idea what an existential crisis was back then, but we all had one. We traveled around and realized Earth is a giant place with many gods and a ton of different origin stories. They all have different concepts of what happens after death, too.
“That’s when we figured the self-actualizing thing out. We got all the Greeks because that’s where they believed they went. Their behavior once they were there was based on what theythoughtthey deserved.
“It’s the same with everyone. You go where you think you should end up. Paradise is full of shitty people who think they did nothing wrong and the unpleasant places are full of good people who obsessed over one thing. If you think your soul returns to nature, it does. The people who believe they are going to be reincarnated do get reincarnated and what they come back as is something deep in their subconscious only a good therapist could drag out. Did I blow your mind?”
“So, like, if I wanted an afterlife with Kat, Calamity, and the entire Portuguese rugby team where Kat was also cool with that, it could happen?”
I fell out laughing. Jezebel was thebestperson I ever could have been stuck in the basement next to. She was right. Ididneed to be distracted so I could calm down before I could have a rational conversation about what was bothering me. She was always the best at that outside of Persephone and Dionysus. My mates would get there.
“Kat would be okay with it because she’d be using your eye candy as sippy cups,” I laughed.
Jezebel gasped.
“The Portuguese rugby team is too hot to snack on to death.”
“They are technically a snack and you’d be doing it, too,” Persephone pointed out.
“You aren’t feeling the mate bond to share snacks with them?” I asked.
“You’re both terrible and trying to bring logic into my fantasy. We’re supposed to be sexually objectifying the rugby team right now.”
“Actually, we’resupposedto get back in there and face Athena now that my two best friends have done the best friend thing.”
“Give her hell, Danger Noodle,” Persephone said, squeezing me.
We were all on edge. Athena was the main reason. She explained what she’d done to Medusa and why, but Medusa was clearly upset or pissed. I didn’t know because she left and everyone said to let Persephone go after her. Even Dionysus said let her go and he knew her the longest. That didn’t mean I had to like it.
Cas and Benji were about to lose their minds because of their shifter halves. I hoped they came back soon because Benji’s other half was shadow demon and when that half got antsy, it tended to fuck with people. He was probably going to offend Sugar Tits, eventually.
“Look, I’m sorry, but you do need to eat the ambrosia and so does she. It’ll give her the strength back she needs since she’s underweight and it’ll help all of you in the fight to come.”
Cas snarled at Athena and Benji’s horns came out. Magic was crackling at my fingertips. We couldn’t fight her. At least, I was pretty sure we couldn’t. We probablyshouldn’t.She probably had answers we needed, even if she thought she didn’t.
“Relax,” Hephaestus boomed. “She’s not wrong. We’ve pissed off some powerful people. The ambrosia will give your magic a boost and make you stronger. And it will help Medusa regain the weight back. You can only get it on Mount Olympus and Athena is the only one who can safely go back there. Hades isn’t really welcome, they only want me there if I’m making them something, they’ll try to force Persephone to stay, and it’s not safe for Dionysus.”
“Hi,” a sultry voice said.
We all turned. I’d hear that voice in my fantasies. Medusa was ours. She seemed like she felt better and was ready to hear Athena out. Her aura felt much calmer. Dionysus squeezed next to all of us on the couch and held his arms out.
“Uppies?”
She came running at us and we all caught her. I blew out a breath as her shoulder connected to my stomach, but she nuzzled my chest with her cheek and her snakes wrapped lovingly around my neck.
“Hi,” she sighed.
“You okay, little monster?”
“No, but I’m at least ready to keep going.”
“You can proceed, Sugar Tits,” Benji said.
Athena just rolled her eyes. Benji had this way of getting away with murder because he was so pretty and had those big, brown eyes. I knew Athena was Ace like Hephaestus was so shewasn’t attracted to Benji that way. No one was immune to puppy dog eyes, though.
