Page 69 of Whiskey, Thieves, and Bastards
“I don’t really think that was something a god ordered because we get nothing out of it. I don’t think Yahweh is giving the angels directions and hasn’t been for a long time. They areacting on their own. You have to understand, belief makes us stronger, and it doesn’t matter if it’s coming from a human or a supernatural.
“It doesn’t make sense to force someone back to you who isn’t going to believe, and it makes even less sense for a god to get humans against a vast community with a lie rather than using his current popularity to gain their love. I really think the angels have gone rogue because this has never made sense from a god’s perspective,” Athena said.
“I still don’t think any of you are gods or furies. This is a ruse,” Saul snapped.
Dionysus laughed and waved his hand. I already knew what he did without asking. It was his favorite party trick when someone didn’t believe him.
“Senator, take a sip of your coffee please.”
“What? Why?”
“Proof. Burden of proof is on the claimant. The proof is in your coffee cup. You can take a sip, or you can be a chicken shit and keep running your mouth, but based on how my fury friends keep looking at you, you might want to shut up and drink so they don’t get pissy about what they’re feeling around you.”
Saul just glared at Dionysus. They were having this good old-fashioned stare off until the man next to Saul grabbed his coffee cup and drained it. He immediately started choking.
“Saul, did you bringwineon the Senate floor? Did you attempt to introduce a bill drunk? Where’s your decorum? Are you not taking this job seriously?”
“What?” Saul demanded. “That was black coffee!”
“Just in case any of you were having doubts about us being gods, I took the liberty of turning all your drinks to wine. Hello, God of Wine making. I couldn’t do anything with vegetation in here and I thought you’d prefer a drink swap over ritual madness. You’re welcome, though if I need to whip that outbecause you’re being stubborn, I can do that. Just remember, this is being televised and some people are watching.”
Everyone checked their drinks and realized they had wine now. Everyone was looking around uneasily when Athena decided to flex her god muscles.
“I’m also the Patron God of Heroes and getting rid of the Coalition is a heroic quest if I ever heard of one. It’s not a traditional fight, but a battle of wits. I’m officially blessing Pepper Crane as my hero.”
Oh, fuck. I knew what was about to happen because I’d seen this before. If this didn’t convince the doubters, I didn’t know what would. A golden owl burst from Athena’s chest and flew over to Pepper. Athena’s owl landed on Pepper’s desk and ruffled her feathers. Pepper briefly looked like she was about to faint, but quickly covered it up and bowed her head respectfully to Athena.
She had no way of knowing this, but everyone wanted a visit from that owl back in the day. Pepper seemed to get this was a pretty big deal and showed proper reverence. Hades looked bored and pretended to check out his cuticles.
“My domain is the dead. Pretty sure you don’t want me to flex my god dick.”
“That could be fun,” Persephone laughed, clapping her hands.
“That’s not necessary,” Pepper said, clearing her throat. “You’ve all got five gods here testifying thattheyknow the angels and they are just like the other supernaturals we’ve been torturing and experimenting on. They’ve told you what belief is like for them and that they don’t think any god would order this because it makes them weaker.
“We’ve basically been carrying out the angels’ agenda and we really don’t know why. We’ve angered these gods. Who’s to say you won’t eventually anger the one you worship, too? We can’ttalk about how great our country is when we are rounding our citizens up and experimenting on them. If they break the law, they should be punished just like humans.”
“Is that even possible?” someone asked.
“Yes,” I said. “Some of you want to pretend that supernaturals are these boogeymen who are lurking in the dark waiting to murder you, but they’re just regular people. Some of them are cops or in the military. Some of them are checking out your groceries or teaching your kids. I have an affinity with plants. If it was up to me, I’d work in a greenhouse or help the farmers with their crops.
“If you make thingssafefor us, you wouldn’t need us to register or wear some kind of identification. If we weren’t being rounded up or being hate crimed, we could be open. If your coworkers and neighbors know they aren’t going to get experimented on and that you’re a safe person, then there’s nothing stopping us from telling you what we are. And by the way, I’ve seen the photo of the man Hannibal and Saul think is Lucifer. He’s very muchnota fallen angel.”
Because I didn’t need anyone hurting Pax. None of us planned on mentioning Pax or that we knew him. We knew they were trying to find him, but we didn’t know they thought he was Lucifer.
“I’ve met Lucifer just like I’ve met Jesus. He’s very much not interested in the affairs of humans or starting the end of the world. You have to remember, we are real and most of the pantheons have their end of world mythos. Revelations is just one of many of those stories,” Dionysus said.
“Most of them have the end of things pawned off on a person, but literally everyone has free will,” Athena said. “Lokicouldhave brought about Ragnarok and Lucifercouldbring about the Book of Revelations, but frankly, neither of them are interested.Think about it logically. They are prophesied to fail and die in those endeavors.
“No onewho was prophesied to bring about the end of the world has been interested in actually doing it. They like the comforts of this realm and they like being alive. I’ve also met Lucifer. He wouldn’t be interested in infiltrating your organization.
“He probably thinks the same thing I do—You’ve been presented with a treasure trove of scientific evidence and you haven’t actually had any successes in hundreds of years. At some point, you should have changed your methods and way of thinking, but you haven’t. I can only believe you’re sadists using this legal loophole to torture and murder people and you’re getting off on it.”
I looked around. It seemed like a lot of people, even the ones I had pegged for voting with Saul, might have been swayed. I mean, it looked like their entire world had been rocked, but Athena had sealed the deal.
We revealed a little more of the cosmos than we intended, but it was needed. We all agreed that we weren’t going to obliterate anyone’s belief unless things got desperate. We wanted to let them knowallgods were real, and that angels were supernatural creatures just like the people they were hurting, but Athena went a step further and let them know she didn’t think Yahweh had directed them to do this. She had a perfectly logical reason why, too, so they could be mad at the angels, but not their god.
Maybe I should get over my shit and forgive her. This was it. They were calling for a vote.
