Page 2 of Winners, Losers, and Champagne Kisses
“Guys?” Benji called. “People are posting angel sightings on social media and those fuckers haven’t come in peace.”
Shit.
Man, this was fucked. Everyone could stand at the window running their mouths about theories or they could go to social media. Someone would be posting as soon as those jokers landed. They didn’t disappoint. My social media was getting flooded with it. #angelsarefuckedup. I didn’t start it, but I was sharing the shit out of it.
They were kicking puppies and punching old ladies. I wasn’t being dramatic. I literally just watched that go down. It was morally reprehensible. Who did that? Old ladies were fierce. One time, I was in town playing Pokémon and this drunk man bumped into Edna Harris. I was going to take care of it, but she just turned around and wailed on him with her umbrella.
I didn’t mess with old ladies after that.
“Best pull out your phones,” I said. “People are taking videos of the angels and posting them on social media. Kat might be able to identify which choir we’re dealing with.”
Medusa slid into my lap and kissed me.
“Such a good boy,” she purred.
Ugh. I didn’t have time to get a boner in the middle of Pepper Crane’s living room with angels falling out the sky. Time and place, little monster.
“Well, that narrows it down slightly,” Kat said. “Three of the choirs can’t pass for humans and out of the rest, only two carry weapons and wear armor. The Grigori are part of the Powers and they carry swords. The archangels also carry swords.”
“I’m not really up to date on my angel lore, but Lucifer owes me seven hundred dollars, and he’s an archangel. I’ve met one before,” Dionysus said.
“That doesn’t count,” Hades said. “Lucifer rebelled, and he oweseveryonemoney because he wants to make everything a wager.”
“That’s really going to take some getting used to,” Pepper said. “He’s the boogeyman in my religion.”
“Technically, Lucifer is a fallen angel and Satan is a separate being who runsthatparticular afterlife. Lucifer is older than Satan. He’s a competitive prick and a sore loser, but he’s not evil,” Athena said.
“He owes you money, doesn’t he?” I asked.
“Oh, yes. Typical man. He insists he’s going to beat me in a game of chess and he always wants to wager money. The only person who ever challenges me in chess is Anubis.”
“As fascinating as all this is and I’m dying to have a proper conversation about it, we need to be worried about those angels,” Pepper said.
“Yeah, they are assaulting puppies and old ladies, so we aren’t dealing with rational people,” I said.
“Explain,” Cas said.
Oh, yeah. I had been watching a few videos before I said anything.
“So, people were filming the lights falling from the sky because they thought it was meteors and they weren’t warned about it. They kept filming when they saw winged men land on the ground. Some were excited because they knew they were angels. Others thought they were aliens and a few people thought it was promo for a movie or some shit.
“They landed close to people or people rushed to them because they knew they were angels. There were kids playing with their puppies in the front yard. If anyone tried to approach them, they didn’t evenaskthem to stay away or give them space. They just assaulted them. That giving anyone any tingly excitement in their bits as to who we’re dealing with?”
“Aren’t there just a few archangels?” Pax asked. “They mentioned them a good bit when the Coalition had me the first time. There were twelve names, and they seemed to think if the archangels got involved, they could cure us.”
“I’m younger and got taken after you,” I said. “They didn’t mention archangels at all. They just seemed interested in hurting us.”
“I got kidnapped after both of you. They tried exorcisms, but it never seemed about saving our souls. They couldn’t hurt me physically because they couldn’t come into my cell, so they starved me and it was all emotional abuse.”
“And my siren lure was malfunctioning, but in a good way, and since a lot of my magic is in my vocal cords, I could keep them from torturing me. They never talked about angels with me either, but it was a lot of slut shaming. Nothing I haven’t heard before. They weren’t even that good at it because they’re virgins,” Jezebel said.
“They actually tortured me,” Calamity said in a dead voice. Kat wrapped her in a protective hug. “They never talked about angels, either. It didn’t even seem like they were misguided and trying to help me. It felt like they were sick fuckers who got off on hurting people.”
Calamity was just a kid in supernatural terms. Everyone who was involved in her torture got ripped apart by supernaturals when we were breaking everyone out of New Eden.Exceptfor Hannibal. I hadn’t decided how I was going to kill him yet, but it was going to have to be extra creative.
“They’ll never hurt you again,” Kat said. “Pax is right. We know the names of twelve archangels. If there are more, we don’t know about them. They each have a specific job to glorify Yahweh. I don’tthinkthis is them. If it was, they’d be calling their own press conference to discredit us. It’s the smart thing to do.”
Huh. Dumb angels. I could fuck with that. I could have a lot of fun with that, actually. The little hamster in my brain started running on his wheel because we needed to think up something good. Man, I needed to name that hamster.
