Page 31 of Winners, Losers, and Champagne Kisses
Angels must not have supernatural senses at all. Benji would have known and was trying to cover for them. I could guess from their auras that they were women and keeping it a secret. The gods would have known, but this was the first time any of these angels had actually met one. I could appreciate that Yahweh knew and basically told them they could reveal that when and if they wanted to without tipping off their comrades, they were keeping secrets.
The Powers in the room looked like they understood why the secret was kept because they’d seen some shit, but the other archangels looked utterly gobsmacked they’d kept that secret even from them.
“We can discuss that later,” Gabriel said. “There’s bigger shit we need to deal with.”
“You’re right,” Michael said. “But I want to apologize that you didn’t feel like we were safe to tell before this. Let’s do this.”
I sighed. We might as well listen to what Jeqon had to say. I pulled my shirt off because Benji could be fucking ridiculous and it was the only way he’d let me be a part of this.
Jeqon sent Benji a DM about doing a video chat. The archangels didn’t know how to use a cell phone, but I was betting Jeqon did since he had a whole side business going delivering tears to psychopaths. And now that I had alotmore information at my disposal, I had questions.
“Um, where are they getting the tears they are delivering to the Coalition?” I demanded.
Because before all this, I thought they just had a few angels who could cry on command and I didn’t really believe that anymore.
“Are you sure you want to know?”
“I mean, I have a pretty good idea, but I want to hear you say it.”
“Pulling our feathers out is agonizing. Even if you don’t outright cry, your eyes still water. The prisoners of war always dreaded it when a new shipment needed to be delivered. The feathers grow back, but it takes time,” Michael said.
“Bitches,” Benji growled. “Do you want me to hold Fart Wings down so you can pluck his feathers like a chicken?”
“Um, no. None of these angels tortured us. You don’t let people you don’t trust around prisoners. If they aren’t on your side, they’ll help them escape and if they are on the fence, seeing that shit is sure to turn them. You leave that to the people you trust because they’ll follow orders without question and they aren’t going to catch feelings.”
“That’s fucked up,” Benji said. “I’ll bet they burned ants and pulled wings off butterflies as kids. Anyway, has anyone taken dance lessons before? One decade, I decided I was going to be a famous breakdancer, so I signed up for ballet. I loved it and would have stuck with it, but they wanted me to wear this thong that crushed my nuts. It made me feel weird, so I dropped out. Anyway, we need a really powerful tableau. I can pose people if I’m the only ballet expert.”
“Excuse you, but I’m anexpertin dance and tableaus,” Persephone said.
She really was. Persephone was an expert back in our day. It was one of the few things she loved other than Hades. During her forced visits outside of the Underworld, she took classes and learned different styles over the years. She’d learned them all over the world and if we needed to pull out something intimidating to settle Benji down, she could do it.
The angels seemed wholly irritated, but Yahweh seemed to find the entire thing amusing. I appreciated that because since he wasn’t annoyed, the angels weren’t saying anything. I loved Benji and everything about him, but I got that he could be a lot sometimes.
Benji was in araremood today and I couldn’t love him more.
“Hey, Fart Wings, snap a picture with my phone so I can see how we all look and go back to the naughty corner.”
I could tell theonlyreason the new angels hadn’t started brawling with Benji was because of Yahweh and maybe they just weren’t stupid. There was a reason they banished him before and it had nothing to do with time. Shadow demons were deadly. He could fuck them up, but Benji would just turn to smoke and they’d never land a blow on him. I was pretty sure weallknew this, so Benji was going to continue to make them his bitches because he couldn’t kill them.
He grumbled, but I couldn’t believe he actually took the photo for Benji. I mean, he hurled the phone at Benji’s face pretty hard when he was done, but Benji had the reflexes of a cat and easily caught it.
“Oh, yeah. This is the one. Hey, can you teach me dance stuff without that thong?”
“That’s to keep your boy bits from getting all tangled up and also for not offending the ladies.”
“My bits arenotoffensive. Everyone loves my bits. If I wouldn’t get banned, I’d go viral posting my dick.”
“Sheriff Riddle found your bits pretty offensive last time,” Pax pointed out.
“That doesn’t count. He’s a fascist.”
“Anyway, we’ll discuss dance belts and dance lessons later. We’ve got work to do.”
“Nah, I’m making him wait. It’ll piss him off and we don’t want to appear needy. If he’s off kilter because he’s pissed, we’ll have the upper hand.”
“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said since I met you.”
“Literally, no one asked you, Fart Wings. You’re not capable of understanding my brilliance. Anyway, go back to your corner and shut up. I’m making the call.”
