Page 57 of Time Traveling Space Bastards
It was just hitting me. I was bringing my Zovea home. We just needed to make a pit stop in our distant past first.
Costa Rica was great. We stayed longer than I’m sure Kuka expected because Omi and Matteo were gone for a while, and they ended up feeding us. Some of the farm workers brought out instruments after we ate and provided music.
No one seemed to think it was strange that I danced with Kuka, Torrek, and Enix. I had a blast. Based on the satisfied look on Omi’s face and the dazed one on Matteo’s when they got back, they did, too.
Matteo was smooth as fuck. He bowed to Omi and kissed her hand to see her off.
“Will I ever see you again?”
“If I’m ever back this way, definitely.”
Big Daddy landed on the outskirts of their land that they hadn’t planted on yet. We paid them a ton of money to borrow one of their trucks to move everything to Big Daddy. We promised to leave the truck on their land with the keys in the glove box and they didn’t ask a ton of questions.
We stayed and partied, but now, I was driving the truck back with the back full of coffee bean and cacao seedlings.
“Are they going to survive the trip?” I asked. “We have to go through the black hole and we aren’t going straight back to your present to plant them.”
“Big Daddy has a hydroponic farm next to the mess hall. I added that just in case we couldn’t eat anything on this planet and something happened to our ability to make food. There was also a part of me that thought I might be able to bring something to plant back that would help people.”
“But coffee and chocolate just helpsme!”
Torrek and Omi started telling me about where they grew up. Kuka filled the rest in with his plans to farm and make chocolate and coffee there.
“I’m pretty sure coffee and chocolate will be just as well loved on my planet as yours. Once they start generating income, I can filter some of it back into that area to improve things. I don’twantto be king. I’ve got a time machine. I want to travel the galaxy and see the past and future. But since Iamgoing to be king, I’m not going to do it like the people who came before me. I’m going to make things better.”
“And what the fuck am I supposed to do as your Velne?”
Because seriously, there were some near misses when I was on my own just balancing my bank account. Sometimes, I wasn’t super great at remembering to eat on time and then I ate too much.
Literally, no one should put me in charge of anything.
“You’ll be my consort. You’ll be my sounding board for ideas, and you may have to kiss some babies in public.”
“That’s not terrible,” I admitted.
“You can work on any cause you want, and I’ll support you. And I have a feeling you’re going to shake things up with the Enix,” Kuka smiled.
“Am I allowed to do that?” I asked.
Because I really did want to change things up in that regard. No one should be forced to work in a brothel or obey someone like Valtens. They were just as sentient as I was and they didn’t need to be programmed to learn new things.
“The only person who would be able to stop you is me and I don’t want to do that,” Kuka said.
“And if anyone decides they want to get violent about it, they’ll answer to me,” Torrek said.
“Me, too,” Omi said.
“And I got an upgrade from Big Daddy, so I’ll be protecting you electronically,” Enix said.
“You’re all amazing. Let’s leave this galaxy.”
Okay,nowthe panic was starting to sink in. Not about leaving the galaxy. I was pretty happy to fuck off of Earth and leave it all behind. It was the black hole thing. I mean, obviously, Kuka figured it out because he not only stole a little bit of that black hole for Big Daddy, but he ended up in my pool and living room, so clearly, whatever he’d done made it safe.
But sometimes, the irrational part of my brain took over, and it said shit like that noise I heard at two in the morning was the ghost of a violent serial killer who used to live in my apartment. What if I couldn’t survive the black hole because I was human? What if I turned into a noodle person and died?
“Breathe,” Torrek said, wrapping his arms around my waist.
“What’s wrong? Are you having second thoughts?” Kuka asked.
