Page 3 of Roses and Murder
“Lance, meet Inspector Trevils.”
Neco Argent was actually insane. He was one of the kids Aimes looked after, so he would have heard about the legendary exploits of Inspector Trevils. If I was gutting people in my spare time, I’d steer clear of that man, even if the Barons just gave me a free pass.
“Do I know you and why are you interrupting my lunch?” he grumped.
Ollie said he was super polite and pretty decent at the tavern, but he also wasn’t working right now. Ollie was one of the most easy-going people I knew, but if someone bothered him on his breaks, he got pretty cranky about it. And Neco was a full-on psycho because he took a seat at his table like he’d been invited to join.
“We’re Argent kids,” Neco announced, like that made sense to either of us.
“Congrats?” Trevils said.
I’d known Neco since we were babies, so even though his face was stone, I knew he was annoyed Trevils didn’t magically know why we crashed his lunch, so I decided to help out.
“Our moms are sick. Our fathers changed the rules, and the only way we can get the remedy is catching your serial killers,” I explained. “I run a tavern, so if you want to get shit faced, I can help you, but I’m completely unqualified for this.”
“I’ve been meaning to stop there to check out your new drink and entertainment. I adore my wife, so I’ve got no reason to visit the brothel. The men who visit are raving about your tavern. Everyone is scrambling to recreate what you’re doing and the results are terrible, even the singing.”
“Lance is the genius behind all that,” Neco bragged.
Who the fuck body snatched Neco? He left if I was working the house, but I knew he was there eating and drinking when I wasn’t. He’d never once complimented me. He’d been corrected numerous times by Mom and Ollie when he gave one of them credit for one of my recipes. He just grunted and pretended like he never heard them. He’d never complimented me for anything good that came out of the Whispering Raven.
“Anyway, Aimes was our babysitter. He comes by the tavern and we give him food and drink in exchange for stories. We don’t have storybooks in Guttertown. Someone has to have the time to tell them to you. Aimes always has the best stories andour favorite when we were younger were the exploits of the legendary Inspector Trevils,” I said.
“You don’t have to kiss my arse. The bloody Barons are my bosses, even though we have a king. Aimes probably didn’t tell you I caught a lot of bad guys who didn’t get the noose because of their fancy title.”
Neco actually laughed with me. Yeah, something had taken Neco over. We didn’t talk much aside from screaming at each other for the past ten years, but he’d never laughed that easily.
“Shit-talking rich people is our favorite pastime. No books, remember? You’re the exception,” Neco said.
“Well, I’m not as bad off as Guttertown, but I live in Lower Cutwart because they pay me shit. I loathe discussing any theories before I have a firm idea. In this case, a fresh set of eyes might help.”
Clearly, because one of the killers he was looking for interrupted his lunch.
They were gone way longer than they should have been. I was worried, but Ollie was losing his damned mind. Ollie tended to get dramatic about people he loved, but Lucy was smart. And Neco might hate Lance, but he hated the Barons more. He hated everyone in that part of town.
If some arseholes tried to jump Lucy because they thought she was a gay man, she could handle it. If she was outnumbered, Neco would step in, right?
“Should we invade the fancy part of town and save our woman?” Ollie asked, bouncing around like he’d eaten too many sweets.
“That’s romantic, right?” Ronan said. “Women like that kind of thing.”
“Lucy isn’t most women. She’d beat your arse and then ban you both from being her taste tester.”
“She’s just forced to be Lance all the time. Lance would kick our arses, but maybe Lucy is into it,” Ollie said.
“Lance is Lucy, and they’d both break our faces,” I pointed out.
“She might need our help,” Ronan said.
“Lucy isn’t just scrappy in a fight, she’s brilliant. She’s been helping manage the tavern on all fronts since she was thirteen. She knows how to toss drunks without offending them. She could probably talk her way out of any situation.”
“She’s perfect, isn’t she?” Ollie sighed.
She really was. And her idiot father had his hands on her. We’d been around her all the time since we were babies and we never guessed her secret. The Baron guard didn’t provide barrack housing. They all had to get up whenever they needed to so that they could make the long walk to work if they couldn’t afford a horse.
Lucy only had a donkey she didn’t get along with. Petunia hated everyone but Ollie, and she was getting too old to make that kind of journey. Lucy and Neco would have to leave in the middle of the night to get there on time, which meant Lucy wouldn’t have much time to work in the tavern.
And I hated that. Not a lot of people in Guttertown got to do what they loved for a living and Lucy had that. The walk from where the Barons lived to Guttertown was pretty far, but they should have been back by now.
