Page 130 of Border Control
I hoped this would provide some comfort to her, but Law-rah takes hold of my arm. “You love him. If you hurt him, you will never forgive yourself.”
“No. I won’t,” I tell both her and Nevare. “But I have no?—”
“Don’t you dare fucking say you have no choice,” Law-rah hisses. “You’ve been able to choose with us, on Earth. You’ve led with me, in scenes. There has to be a way out.”
I shake my head once, jaw tightening with what I know I have to do. “He’s gone. He’s lost.”
“Do you truly believe that?”
I look again at Nevare, at his red-rimmed eyes, the pain lancing from his scales keeping me from seeking out his mind.
“No one has ever calmed a nova Apex,” I tell her.
“Why is he like this? Think, Dom.”
I close my eyes briefly. He went nova because I failed. I failed him, I took my attention from him to lavish on Law-rah, and now he has to die.
Because of me.
Law-rah’s firm fingers take my chin, wrench me down to her eye level.
When I open my eyes, her brilliant blue gaze search mine. “When I’m like this, you help me. You’ve done it before, loads of times, for me. Let’s do it for Nevare.”
Her voice threads through the psychic chaos, a clear course, a set of actions.
Nevare’s body trembles with rage, every breath making him shake. My hearts ache. This isn’t fury, it’s pain. Grief twisted into something monstrous.
He isn’t angry. “He’s hurting,” I say.
I approach, close enough to feel the blistering heat radiating off his skin. “I’m here,” I tell him. “You’re not alone. You never were.”
His mind lashes out, a red-hot streak of agony whipping over my entire body. I scream, but I stay open. Present. The way I am with Law-rah when she panics.
Law-rah stays beside me, bracing with me. Nevare’s attention swings to her and I block his attack, taking the blow. He doesn’t try to blast past me to get to her.
“He’s not… actually trying to… hurt you,” I tell her, voice shaking.
“Alright,” she murmurs. “Tell me what you want me to do, I’ll support you.”
Her trust bolsters me. “Find the heart of it,” I tell her. Reaching through the white-hot torrent of Nevare’s mind, I seize him, gathering up as much of the powerful Apex as I can. My mental arms are insignificant against the blaze of power, but I send soothing reassurance from the peace Law-rah brings me.She fuels my steady endurance, and I lean into her touch to endure the pain.
‘Here,’she says, reaching into the torrent with her golden aura. I wrap myself around the threads of gold so she isn’t hurt, and with our thoughts intertwined, I see it. Under all the fire, all the rage?—
—blue spikes of fear.
Just like hers.
‘He’s afraid.’My hearts crack anew.
‘Yeah.’Her voice stays firm.‘So am I, when I’m like this. But you help, Dom. I don’t know what you do, but you help.’
I do.
I know how to help my Apex.
Grabbing hold of what I can, I lift. I raise Nevare above the flood of anger and pain, letting the current smash against me. It can try breaking me, but I won’t. Not when I have Law-rah by my side.
A memory: ‘Look after Shade! Law-rah needs them more than I did. Just like you need each other.’
