Page 115 of Border Control
The floodwaters bring memories: an older male human, laughing. Sitting at a table, lifting us to a seat next to him. Flicking through paper substrate sheets, clearing his throat and reading aloud.
Then his face all over those papers, in washed out grays or full glaring color. Being led away by other males, his head lowered, hands cuffed behind his back.
‘He… he was arrested, too.’I say.
‘Yes.’Law-rah’s pain turns boiling, acidic, eating at us. ‘And worse. It wasn’t his fault, but the lawyers made out like it was. It was the software, it malfunctioned, said there was more money in his store than there was. The court collected all the evidence except what we knew: that daddy wouldn’t ever steal. He got ten years, but he only served six before he… he...’
The rising waters lap at my chest. It won’t be long before they cover us completely. Her mind whirls, conflicting emotions rushing past me, sinking into me. Despair. Hopelessness. Trying so hard to fight, but not knowing how to.
‘It wasn’t your fault,’I tell her. It’s the truth. From all the memories swirling around me, Law-rah had nothing to do with it.
But she could also do nothing to stop it.
The walls rumble, sending ripples through the flood of despair.‘I know. But it still happened. It shouldn’t have, but it did. The system killed him.’
The waters climb higher, churning with the thick, oily weight of helplessness. Only a small glint of gold shines in the center: her. Not the child clutching at newspaper pages, but the woman who stood back up. Law-rah. Pacing courtroom halls. Locking her voice around trembling truths. Holding broken systems to account with nothing but words sharpened into weapons.
‘I couldn’t save him,’she whispers.‘So I swore I’d save others.’
A flicker, sudden and bright, rises from beneath the water. A courtroom. A client too scared to speak. Law-rah standing in front of them, steady and sure. Her words build shelters in the storm. They don’t always hold, but she builds them anyway.
I sink beside her, letting the full weight of what she carries roll over me.Thisis what drives her, this is her purpose, the most incredible purpose I’ve ever heard of a female having. The need to put something right that was torn apart in front of her.
‘You’re not faking it,’I murmur. Soft, and sure.
She stiffens beside me. Like she doesn’t believe it.
I continue,‘The fact that you’re still fighting this hopeless battle is testament to your character. However this case turns out… that’s what you should take away. That you chose to fight.’
The water doesn’t feel like it’s closing in. It feels like it’s listening.
And so does she.
Her fingers twitch beside mine. The current slows.
Snap. A beam falls from the ceiling. The walls waver, then collapse backwards, the water swarming out with it. Beyond lies darkness, dust twinkling in the dark sky like distant stars.
‘I’m sorry. This is all me,’Law-rah admits as the mental landscape breaks apart.‘I… I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. I thought therapy would sort it, I try to hide it as best I can. You’re too close, and this… this closeness is too much. And yet, I can’t stop it.’
Her words choke me harder than any collar. My arms lock around her, fierce, as if I can shield her from herself. ‘Law-rah,’ I murmur, pressing my forehead to hers.
‘I should be stronger,’she whispers.‘I should have fixed it by now.’
A low growl breaks from my chest.‘No. Youarestrong. Stronger than me, stronger than most. You keep fighting even when your own mind drags you under. That is not weakness.’
I hold her tight to me, but I offer scant, temporary comfort. Once I’m euthanized, she’ll be alone again.‘You have learned to open yourself up again. You suffered a grievous loss, anduse that to fuel your passion, but you walled yourself off in the process. Your fears feel real, but know, through it all:
‘You are free, Law-rah.’
Her grip on me tightens.‘I’m so scared, Dom.’
‘I’m here,’I say, but how long can I promise that?
‘I don’t want to be alone.’She meets my eyes, her beautiful betrillium blue glazed with tears.‘I… I want?—’
Pain interrupts, slashing down my side. Law-rah flinches, and I pull the pain back before more zaps across to her.
I open my real eyes, trying to hold on to the heartbreaking vision of Law-rah, interspersed with three purple Parthiastocks. She needs me, and they’ve pulled me away from her.
