Page 29 of Border Control
Darker.
I come back in front of him and tell him, “That's actually one of my limits too. This would be just for play, nothing serious. I don't do long-term relationships where two people entwine their lives with one another. I don't have time for it. My career is very demanding and it comes first.”
The hope that leaps in his eyes is adorable. “So… you do not require a mate bond with me to do this?”
“Not at all, absolutely not.”
His delight gets overtaken by feral hunger, his jaw tight and eyesburning.“That… changes the equation.”
Yes! “So, do you still want to do this?” The million-dollar question. “To define what I mean by ‘this’… we'll meet regularly,discreetly, at times convenient to us both. We’ll talk about and agree what we would like to do together. If we want, we’ll even install safe phrases, so if you or I say it, we know to stop immediately.”
He blinks slowly. “That means we will both be in control,” he observes.
“Yes, but I'll lead.” I pitch my voice to be husky at the end, and it clearly hits the mark, making his lips part and his breathing deepen.
My stomach pitches in that excited-danger way. I’m not going to take advantage of him, he’s safe with me, and I can really help him; but at the same time, it’s impossible to deny how this feels.
But as my chest heats, it tightens. Kink is not something to discuss at the weekly movie nights. I’m only exploring this new side of me; I don’t want it exposed to my friends, and certainly not mixed with my career. “This has to be a secret, okay? That's my non-negotiable number one.”
“I will adhere to that. You have my sworn word,” he reiterates.
“We’ll tell each other what we do and don't want. I want open communication between us at all times, that's my number two stipulation.”
He's quiet, perhaps struggling for where to start.
“I'll go first.” Alright, time to confess. The one thing my friends absolutely do not know, and potential partners are always shocked about. My mouth goes dry as dust. My pulse jumps, hammering in my throat. Heat rises up my neck in a wave, making my ears buzz.
I look him square in his eyes, inky indigo in the light. “My hard limit is no penetration.”
My voice is steadier than I feel; my stomach is twisting itself into knots, my skin prickling like static.
There. Out.It’s out.But my chest tightens anyway, just as if I’ve stepped off a ledge. My breath comes faster, shallower. I’m exposed, small, waiting for the flash of judgment or pity.
“Yep,” I manage, swallowing hard, “I’m a virgin.”
NINE
DOM
My nanites offera few interpretations for this word, but it’s important to Law-rah. More than that: something she fears. Her chest rises too fast, a faint tremor shaking her hands, and her scent sharpens with the salt-edge of fear.
Law-rah is bracing as if I might strike her down.Drok na, whatever this means, she thinks I will react badly. The thought twists like a blade in my gut. She has given me a gift—her trust—and I refuse to let her feel shame for it.
“I will not go through you,” I promise. That would require force, which I would never wield against a female, let alone one as delicate as Law-rah.
She cocks her head, silky blonde hair sliding down her shapely shoulder. “When I say no penetration, I mean your penis or whatever you have will not ever go in my vagina. That won’t happen under any circumstances.”
“Neither my cock nor mycriniswill enter you,” I promise. Naming them in front of her makes them pulse with a quiver of anticipation.
She seems surprised at my reaction. “Well, that was easy,” she says. “Usually guys… I mean, that's great. What about you?”Her gaze drops down my body to my belt. It reminds me of the scene Nevare’s nighttime roving showed me, of myself on my knees, just as I am now.
“You can touch or take whatever you want from me. It’s your right,” I tell her.
“No, none of that,” she says, stern. “We're discussing proper boundaries. Is there anything you don't want to do?”
She’s allowing me to choose, but I want all ofthis. “I… don’t know.”
She nibbles one side of her rich red lips, her blunt white teeth flashing. “Hm. This might be an experience barrier rather than a language one. I'll tell you what, we'll explore your limits together, but in return, you must swear to tell me if something sounds too much or ever becomes uncomfortable for you.”
