Page 59 of Border Control
‘NO WAY, WANT HIM OUT OF MY HEAD, NOT DEEPER INSIDE IT.’
Nausea lurches through me, and I try not to let her feel how her revulsion dashes my hopes like waste cargo dropped from a hopper. I haven’t proven myself enough. Perhaps if I work harder, I might be found worthy. “In that case, I don’t know what to do next apart from teaching you to modify your broadcasts to protect Nevare.”
She rubs her temples, and I gently check to see if there’s any pain. There isn’t, just a tight knitted needle of frustration lancing into her.‘CAN’T HANDLE ALL THIS.’
‘You can,’I send to her, putting her on my mental shoulders again to stand above the sea of anger and fear. It’s like an acidic lake, eating away at me, but at least Law-rah is safe from it.
The spike recedes and she breathes more easily. “Fine. Okay. Decision time. I need to reach out to all the affected persons to smooth over my mistake this morning, and tonight we’ll think of how this happened so we can undo it. If we don’t have any goodideas, I’m going to learn about this broadcasting shit, but that’s a short term fix. Priority one is stopping this entirely, clear?”
Arik and I nod, pressing our fists to our chests.
With a brief wave she strides into the farmhouse, and I admire her crisp suit tight over her rounded hips.
‘Focus, Dom.’Arik’s mental voice is smiling but tinged with gray exhaustion. He’s had to wrangle Nevare on his own, and the thought of abandoning him for my night of pleasure gives the experience a sharper edge.
‘It’s not that, we work together easily, we’ve been doing it for long enough,’Arik says with a flare of purple indignation.‘It was having to deal with Law-rah’s sudden appearance and the sheer amount of emotion she pushed down the sync. How did that happen, Dom?’
I know I should tell him everything, but the urge to shield Law-rah’s vulnerabilities is strong. It’s clear she guards them carefully, and having her come undone in my arms was such a raw and beautiful experience she shared only with me.
It’s… mine. A Base shouldn’t have many experiences outside of the Parthiastocks he’s mind sync’d with, but still. That night belongs to me and Law-rah only.
My wave brother stares at my shoulder, and I glance down. I’d completely forgotten the damaged scales, which will fall off naturally in a human week. They’re striped pink and black and stuck as thick defensive plate, unable to relax to anything softer.
‘She didn’t do this,’I send to him hurriedly.
Arik’s eyes flash with yellow relief.‘Good. I wondered if she was handling you roughly.’
‘No, far from it.’She actually cared for me last night, letting me into her private quarters and making sure I was covered, I assume for warmth given the humans lose heat through their skin easily. It was the equivalent of protecting me from theelements, and just as remarkable that a female would care for a clone in any way.
Arik sighs.‘Keep your secrets, then, but I won’t be able to suggest anything of use.’
‘That’s acceptable.’I’ll handle everything to do with Law-rah on my own.‘Did Ilia notice I was missing?’
Arik’s snort is answer enough. Clearly, our leader is busy, and previously that would have made me concerned about a clear chain of command, but now it's as if I have a second guiding point in my life. Just as long as it doesn’t distract me from my Apex, perhaps I can smuggle a little bit of her light to myself.
Throughout the day, Arik, Nevare and I finish the far wall of the barn. The structure takes shape faster and faster every cycle, becoming more familiar as a storage unit while at the same time being alien. At first, I’d thought the stone we were told to use was a mismatched mess but, while it is harder to work with than uniform printed bricks used for clone quarters, it almost feels like it has an aura all of its own. The surface is molded by the elements, forged and shaped by hands of generations past.
I pass my palm over the gritty wall. Clones don’t have previous generations; we have only the All-Mother, who sacrificed all her eggs to create us but remains as distant as the stars twinkling above us.
‘SAD, DOM.’Law-rah’s thoughts startle me.
‘I didn’t realize I was broadcasting,’I send to everyone.
“You weren’t,” Arik mutters aloud. “She’s thinking about you. She wanders up and down the sync with images of you.”
The idea makes my chest swell, but I quickly push that thought away, dropping my hand from the wall. I can’t fail Law-rah and Nevare; I have to figure out how to break this connection, tonight. How was it formed in the first place? Did it have something to do with Law-rah’s secret gold aura?
Slowly, I turn to face the main farmhouse where Law-rah works.
I have an idea.
SIXTEEN
LAURA
I don’t stop pulling togetheran emergency strategy for five hours straight, rigid on Ellen’s grandmother’s chair. It isn’t massively comfortable but that’s fine, I deserve discomfort right now.
My stomach hurts, an ache that radiates through my torso, and I know what this is. I take my laptop into the bathroom to change my panties and fit a pad from Ellen's stash, then walk it back down, glued to the screen. My period arriving early is a sure sign of stress, but I can't stop. I can't.
