Page 14 of Letters Book Two
After a cover to cover reading of the financial section of the paper, I headed for my office and my scheduled meeting with Jeremy. I couldn’t forget to have him follow up with AT&T about where my new phone was. I found him already there with a stack of correspondence from the past four months.
“I’m glad you could set aside some time this morning to get you caught up on business, Perry.” I liked that he was using my first name as I had asked.
“No better time than the present.” I knew the size of the estate’s lawn. Chad would be busy until lunch at the earliest.
“You have at least forty RSVP requests for the upcoming holiday season. How about we start there?” He began by unbinding the rubber band-wrapped stack of cards. This was New York’s high society. These people didn’t use Evite.
“I’ll save us time.No,to all of them.”
Jeremy lifted his eyes to my location across the room where I sat on an oversized leather couch, distressed to perfection so they could charge ten thousand dollars for it. I was still only in boxers, but I’d known Jeremy for a decade. I had added a T-shirt at least. Nothing shocked the well dressed former Ralph Lauren model that also happened to have an MBA in business. Jack hired him to manage the only side of my life that he couldn’t, business.
Jeremy looked perplexed. “Certainly, you’re kidding?”
“I am absolutely serious. I will not be attending any social functions for an appropriate twelve months,” I stated, daring him to question me.
“But, Perry, these are your friends. Certainly, they’ll understand and forgive any social faux pas when you show up. They’ll all be so happy to see you.”
“Good! Then they’ll have no problem forgiving me when I don’t.”
Screw decorum.That wasn’t the real reason. I didn’t want to see those people this soon anyway. Maybe not again, ever. Not exactly sure why I felt this way, but I wanted to shake my life up. I wanted to be better. These so-called friends didn’t seem to addbetterto my life. Spreading fifteen-hundred-dollar-jar caviar over a stale cracker and sipping fancy liqueurs held no appeal these days.
“Honestly, Perry. Jack would not approve of this decision.” He did challenge me. Refreshing. Stupid, but definitely refreshing.
I looked around the room exaggeratingly. “I don’t seem to see Jack in this meeting.”
Jeremy placed the stack of cards down. “Don’t be like this, Perry. I work for you, but I hope you know I care about your welfare as well.”
“And I appreciate that, Jeremy. However, as you may have heard, Jack has passed. You never worked for Jack. You work for me. If you would like to continue in that capacity, you need to take note that there are going to be changes to how we proceed from now on.” I reached for the notepad on the coffee table. I had some changes to note as well.
“Very well, sir.” His change in tone did not escape me.
“I asked you to use my first name. It sounds friendlier. More personal,” I stated.
“If that’s the case, then you need to practice what you preach. Friends don’t speak to friends like that.” Jeremy sat still and did not take his eyes off of me.
This wasn’t going well. I was requesting a less formal atmosphere and then taking it immediately to,I’m the boss around here,ridiculousness.
“You’re right, Jeremy. Absolutely right. This will take more time for me. It’s all new, and I usually have Jack here to smooth this shit out.” I stood and walked to the desk. “Please tell me I haven’t always been an asshole to you.”
“You have not. The worse you did was be aloof, but I understood you were busy. It’s my job to ease that for you.” Jeremy paused for a moment and rolled the pen around in his hand as he thought about his next words. “May I speak freely?” He remained in his chair and looked up at me nervously.
“Of course. Please do. No recriminations. I promise.”
“Well, you mention that you want to change, be more personal. I get that. However, none of us know you that well, Perry.” He paused to take my measure. “I’m wondering what exactly you mean? Change to what? Different how? Requesting us to call you by your first name? Is thatrealchange? Honestly, you weren’t an asshole to anyone if that’s what you think.” He was nervous, I could see that. He moved some of the mail around. Rearranging the stack of invites and buying time. “I can only speak for myself and some overheard chatter from the staff, so I’ll only say this. We don’t really know you, Perry. We always went to Jack with issues. He’s not here so this is an adjustment for all of us.” His eyes began to well up and he dropped his head as he whispered something.
“I can’t hear you, Jeremy.” I tried not to be defensive. “Speak up, please.”
He still spoke quietly, but it was loud enough for me to hear. “You need to understand that we miss him too. You just disappeared after his death. You ignored our calls, Perry.”
He did not lift his head to face me, so I spoke. “I’m... sorry.” I was at a loss for words. What could I say to his truth? It wasn’t just the staff.Get it line. I’d shut out the world.
He wasn’t done speaking. “Jack treated us like family. We... we were... family. At least we thought we were. You shut us out. And now it seems you’re shutting the rest of your friends out too.” He picked a few invites up and then dropped them back on the desk.
I was surprised by his honesty and by my lack of having a clue. I turned away from him and stared at a picture of Jack framed on the fireplace mantle. I tried hard to not get angry. It was like Jack’s photo was telling me to be careful here. “You probably wished it’d been me, right?” I sat on the edge of an ottoman and broke down.
“God no! Of course not! Don’t even say shit like that. I wish it was neither of you.”
Jeremy was correct. I didn’t know the team around us all that much. Even him. He knew all about my life. My needs. My wants. All the quirks I have, and I knew nothing about him. I just signed the cards that Jack had filled out and stuffed with big bonus checks every year. I only knew what Jack told me about him. I never once inquired about his life.
