Page 18 of Letters Book Two
“I’m not the boss, son. Not here anyway.” She winked and grinned. “I’m going to put my nose where it probably doesn’t belong because I can’t trust that Mr. Howard is.”
“Is this about Perry, ma’am?” Normally, I’d be angry at someone invading my privacy, but I knew her heart. This wasn’t like aLottie Parsonsvisit.
“Like I said, none of my business, but I like him, son. And I think you love him. Am I right about that?”
I nodded my head, admitting what she knew already. I’d never had a conversation with an adult about a relationship before. Not even Momma and I spoke about them. I felt like Mrs. Howard knew this fact and was trying to change that for me.
“I’m too afraid to call. I think it’s over, ma’am.”
“I understand the fear, son. It can be scary being in love. But, don’t you think its scarier not knowing where you stand?” I nodded. She was right. “I’ve watched you the past three months, Lucas, and I need you to appreciate that you’ve blossomed. Your body language has changed. You are in love with Perry.” She grabbed my hand and looked into my eyes. “You’ve had more than your share of loss, son. Don’t accept that he’s lost too.”
My eyes welled up. I missed Momma and yet, here was Mrs. Howard, loving me through my pain. Dare I say, filling in? “I don’t know what to do, ma’am,” I whispered. “They always leave me first.” The tears released and she pulled me into her arms.
“Do not accept that fate, son. I don’t know Mr. Jackson well, but I can spot love from a mile away.” She moved me away from her, while still holding my arms and looked me directly in the eyes. “The man I met loves you, son. Trust me when I tell you that.”
“But, what do I do now?” I asked. I saw Mr. Howard standing behind one of the glass garage doors watching us.
“Someone needs to take the first step, son. Let me ask you this, who spoke last when you last saw him?”
“He did, ma’am.”
“Then the way I see it, it’s your turn, Lucas.” She held a hand up toward the station, assuring her husband that she had this. “Can you do that? Will you promise me? And remember, you should never lie to your grandmother. You understand me?”
A wide smile spread across my tear-stained face.She thought of me as her grandson.“Can I call you Grandma?” I asked, practically sobbing.
She pulled me back into her arms and kissed the top of my head. “I wish you would, son. Because I love you like a grandson. And you best start calling that old man in the garage, staring at us right now, by the way, Grandpa too, or he’ll be jealous.”
I looked to the garage and saw Mr. Howard wiping his brow, or was it his eyes?
“I’ll call Perry, ma’am. Right after my shift. I promise.”
“That’s all I wanted to accomplish today, Lucas. He loves you, I know it. And we love you too.”
“Thank you... Grandma.”
I’d never had a conversation like the one I had with Mrs. Howard. Daddy was still alive, but he’d never talk about this subject, or any subject concerning love for that matter. I had no grandparents left from either side of my parents. Daddy hated me, Momma was dead, and Lachen, my real father, would never be a parent for me either since he was also dead.
I trusted Mrs. Howard. I could make the next move. I would call Perry at the end of the day. I headed for the garage.
“I see the missus was just in.” Mr. Howard looked up from under the hood of a car he was working on. “She out spreading cheer, or something else, son?”
“You’re shirking your responsibilities,Grandpa,” I said, grabbing the wrench he’d misplaced on my side of the vehicle.
“Grandpa, is it?” he asked.
“That’s right. The boss told me all about you not giving me enough shit concerning Perry and me.”
“She did, huh? And I suppose the Grandpa thing is her idea too?”
“Yep. Grandma said she can’t count on you to get her tasks done properly? I believe she’s correct, sir. I need a grandfather’s advice, didn’t you know that?”
“Understood, son.” He beamed from ear to ear, and I set the wrench beside his head, near the radiator cap.
“You’ll be needing that, Gramps.”
I was nervous the rest of the day, but also determined to call Perry and let him know I missed him terribly. If I was going to have an adult relationship, I needed to act like one. I knew we wouldn’t solve everything right away, but we could try. I could try. I would explain my fear and insecurities to him. I would let him know how important he is to me. I would listen and we would begin again. I needed to make my move. I knew Grandma was right.
After closing the station, I took a quick shower, grabbed a Coke and went up to my apartment. I was going to keep my promise. I was going to call him.
