Page 3 of Letters Book Two
“Yeah, that’s right, Lucas. Maybe we can help or something?” I appreciated their effort and support.Here goes nothing.
In my typicalget to the point manner, I began. “Perry left Beaufort and I don’t think he’s coming back.” More tears released. “And... and... I’m sad because I hoped he’d want to stay here... with me.” I admitted my secret and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.
Mrs. Howard had an unexpected and pleased look on her face. Not pleased at my admission of him leaving me, but more of a confirmation of her hunch. “So, you two had a disagreement? That happens, son. You aren’t the first partners to quarrel, and you certainly won’t be the last.” She reached for her neck and the gold cross that hung there. It was almost as if she was afraid her God would be angered by her acknowledgement of what we were to each other. “See, Ed? I told you Lucas is sensitive and that he met a man he loved. Loving folk are always sensitive folk.”
“That you did, my love. My missus has always had a soft spot for love, Lucas. All types of love.” He smiled sweetly at his wife. Their bond was obvious.
Was I hearing this correctly? They were fully aware of my sexuality as well as my love for another man? And a man that is twenty years older than me?
“You two know about Perry and me?”
Mrs. Howard nodded her headyesand a had a loving smile on her face. “We began to figure it out when we noticed you coming out of your shell and seeming so much happier. It has been refreshing to see you so happy, son. The only thing we could figure was that Mr. Jackson must be the reason.”
“She’s right, Lucas. You’ve been on cloud nine since you towed that fine man into town. We might be old, but we ain’t stupid. And don’t you worry about us being God-fearing churchgoing folk either. We figure if it’s love, then it’s God’s love. He made us in his image.Allof us.”
Mrs. Howard beamed at her husband and encouraged him to continue.
“Now, how do we help you fix what’s gone wrong? We’re all-in with ya, boy. We love you, son. And if you love him, we love him too.” He shoved a huge bite of pie into his grinning mouth.
CHAPTER FIVE: Perry
“Hello, Jack. How’s my best mate?” Chad picked Jack’s urn up from the front seat and placed him in the back. He even used his T-shirt to polish the urn while he held him. “Do you belt him in?” he asked. I loved that about Chad. He was never thrown by the absurd or lost his wonderfully peculiar ways.
“Nah. I let him bounce around freely and when he pisses me off, I slam on the brakes.”
Chad placed the urn snuggly under the belted seatbelt. “Don’t listen to him, Jack. He’s grumpy because something went wrong on his little journey.” He stood outside the car daring me to question his wisdom.
I gave him the evil eye. “Really? Oh, here we go. And what do you think you know about it, beach bum?”
“I know you wouldn’t have waltzed back into my life if there wasn’t an important reason. And, Mr. Jackson, I know you’re not here because it’s me you want.” He focused his blue eyes on me, making sure he had my attention. “I’m also sure that Jack guided you here once again. And you know what? I’m cool with it. I like hanging with you.” He used his hand to shield his eyes from the sun and gave me a terse look.Oh shit! Here we go again.“Whose idea was it to drive to Columbia? Yours?” He raised his eyebrows and paused for a moment. “Doubtful! It’s not like we are on any map’seasiest shortcut to the Hamptonsroute.” He turned to the urn in the backseat. “I’m right aren’t I, Jack?” He moved his seat back and slid into the car.
I stepped in and sat in the driver’s seat, turning my attention to him. “I’m so fucking happy you never met Jack in person. I would have hated the two of you together.” I knew that was a lie. I love Chad and I know Jack would have enjoyed him too. But Chad and I both knew that this was not about us anymore.
“So, spill it, boss. Why did you show up at my dead boyfriend’s joint?” Chad adjusted his seatbelt and reclined his seat. He also opened the glove box and found the USC cap he’d given me at our last encounter.
“Lemme guess, you knew it was in there?” I smiled as he put the cap on backward. He nodded his headyesand pointed to the exit out of the parking lot.
“What do you think?” He pointed to the parking lot’s exit again. “Take a right and go to the next stoplight. Hang a left there and then three miles straight. I’ll tell you when we get to my place.” After the instructions, he relaxed and started touching the controls and buttons on the dash, acquainting himself with the Benz. “S63, dude! And with AMG to boot? This is the shit, my man. Pops is gonna die when we pull in.”
“So, you’re just going to show up with me in tow again?” I was surprised at how easy I had agreed to go with Chad. But then again, where did I have to be?Nowhere!Not to mention, who said no to Chad?
“Oh, come on, Perry. My parents adore you, in case you forgot so soon. They will only be disappointed by one thing.”
“Yeah? What’s that?” I took the left at the light and then looked at him.
“They’re going to hate that you’re not back for me. They let me know a thousand times that we’d be great together.” He placed his hand on my thigh as I drove. There he is. This is the Chad I remember. Mr. Love was in the house. In this case, the car.
“How do you know I’m not back for you?” I knew I wasn’t, but still.
“Oh God please, Perry. Come on. You can’t still be doubting me, are you?” He squeezed my thigh and rubbed it gently. Four months ago, I’d have popped a boner for sure, but we both knew things had changed. “I kind of wish you were though. I agree with my folks, we could have been great together, but alas, you still have your own path. Speaking of that, spill the beans, will ya?”
I wasn’t ready just yet to fill him in on my current misery. “If it’s any consolation, you’re amazing and I love you. You know that, right?” And I did love him. I was certain in my heart that Chad and I were connected. That wasn’t in dispute.
“I love you too, big guy. I’m patient though. I know my guy is out there. But for now, let’s get you put back together.” He wrapped his arm through mine and leaned into me, laying his head on my shoulder. Maybe his was the perfect kind of love. I had an eight-ish hour journey ahead to bounce my woes off of him.
We stopped by Chad’s apartment, and he grabbed a few items before we hit the road. His enthusiasm for the road trip was contagious. It must be rubbing off on me because it had been some time since I’d thought of Lucas. To be sure though, my heart was breaking from all angles. It wasn’t fair to have to grieve both a death and the end of a new love at the same time. I’m not sure a heart is supposed to handle twice the emotional pain. I thought of the home I’d been building with Lucas and now I didn’t even have the blueprints.Was he missing me? Did he love me?
“Cheer up, friend. Yes, he’s missing you.” Chad rubbed my arm, trying to soothe my spirit.
