Page 20 of Letters Book Two
Chad stayed quiet while I thought about things. I picked the phone up and found the recent call and got ready to tapdial caller. Chad gave me a thumbs up. I tapped the number and took a long breath.
One ring. And then two, three, four, and five rings, before that miserable recording came on. The one that states the caller is unavailable to take your call. It should also say, unavailable to take your apology, or excuse your stupidity. Maybe even tell you tofuck off!What had I been thinking, bringing Chad to my house two days after leaving Beaufort? That now seemed gross, not to mention, mean.
I set the phone on the table and looked at Chad. “No answer?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’m fucked!” I stood up, and walked back into the house.
I had that weird dream again where Jack and I are on the beach, walking and holding hands. He’s talking to me, but his lips aren’t moving. I hear his voice loud and clear. Normally in the dream, he eventually walks ahead and disappears into the surf. The sense of loss I usually feel as he fades away is unbearable. Today’s dream was different. He did uncouple our hands and walk ahead, but in this dream, he turns away from the water and heads to the tree line. As he is about to walk into them, he turns, smiles, and waves. His voice comes into my unconscious mind. “You know what to do, where to go.” For some reason, it’s not unbearable this time.
My eyes popped open as a knock on my bedroom door woke me. “Come in.”
“It’s just me, Perry.” Chad sheepishly peeked his head around the door. “May I come in?”
“Of course you can.” I patted the spot next to me on the bed.
He crawled into the bed and lay against me. Neither of us said anything. I was still in a post-nap, post-dream stupor. He was quiet and pensive as our shoulders touched. His face was expressionless, and I couldn’t get a read on his mood. I knew he was sorry he picked up the phone, but we couldn’t change what happened. Knowing Chad, he was here in a show of support.
“Did you try texting?” he asked.
“Yes. Nothing back.” I reached for his hand and held it. He gave it a squeeze. We were going to be alright.But now what?
Chad turned to me. “I should go home.”
“No, please don’t do that.” I rolled to my side facing him, still holding his hand. “I don’t want to be alone. I need help figuring this out.”
He laughed sarcastically. “I’mhelping? Are yousureabout that?”
I laughed with him. “Well, the staff sure likes you. Peter and his landscaping crew would miss you. I would miss you too,” I admitted, looking at my watch. “It’s close to dinner time. Let’s polish off a pricey bottle of wine and see what the chef has on the menu. How about that?”
He gave me a disgusted look. “Do you even notice yourself? Your life is kinda ridiculous, Perry. Even I feel out of place, and Iactuallydo come from money. Do you really need all this?” He grabbed a handful of Jack’sone millionthread count sheets and held it up. “These aren’t even the sheets you had on yesterday, for Christ’s sake. The comforter is even a different color. Why?” he asked.
“I don’t know! Maybe because I’m bored. Maybe because I stopped noticing shit like that. Maybe Iama douche? You ever think that maybe I’m just a cliché? Fuck! I don’t know why.”
“You’re more than this, my friend. You deserve more than this. I don’t mean more excess either. I mean more of something real. Maybe it was a good thing Lucas put the brakes on.”
“Jesus, that’s mean. Why would you say that?”
“It’s the truth, Perry. Look around at all this...” he struggled to find the words, “stuff.” He glanced around the room. “You have a fucking fireplace and a complete living room set in your bedroom, dude. And isn’t this one of what, fourteen more just like it? Who the fuck for? I love you, man, but seriously, you were going to drop Lucas into all this and expect him to like it. He won’t, I’m sorry to say. I’m used to similar, but even I think this is obscene.” He bit his lower lip. “Too far?”
I took a moment to let his words sink in. “Yeah, probably, but true. You’re right. I don’t know how I got here. I’m not blaming Jack either. At least he behaved like a real person.” My throat tightened and I knew I was choking back a need to scream or cry. Probably both.
“Look at me, Perry.” Chad pulled my chin toward him. “Youarea real person. It’s time for you to wake up and start acting the part. You can be a real person and be rich too. You’re not the only rich guy in this town, are you? Besides, I know the real Perry Jackson, and he is way more than all of this unnecessary luxury.”
“Ok, so, assuming that what you say is all true. What do you suggest I do? Sell all my shit and live in a studio apartment?”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re missing the point actually.”
“In what way?” I truly wanted his opinion. I valued it, for some reason. Maybe because I felt he was connected to Jack, and I knew I trusted Jack.
“Why did you dislike the town Lucas was in? What did you miss about this life?” he asked.
“Nothing really, but I lived the same way while there,” I reminded him.
“Yeah, I know. My point exactly. In the penthouse, of the priciest hotel in the area, correct? So, you went way out on a limb and tried to live a small-town style? Is that what you’re saying?” He stuck his finger in my side teasingly, trying to get me to understand he was trying to be helpful.
“Stop that!” I pushed him away and swiped at his face. “You’re correct about all of it, though. I don’t know how to do for myself anymore? I haven’t had to cook, clean, do laundry, none of it, for years. I could probably employ someone to wipe my ass if I tried.”
“That is precisely my point. I didn’t mean to be cruel earlier, but I don’t think Lucas, from how you’ve described him to me, could flourish in your current life, Perry. It’s too much for a young man that’s lived his hardworking life. Frankly, you should be pleased that he isn’t after your money. I love him already and I’ve never met him.”
