Page 23 of Letters Book Two
He cleared his throat softly. “Yes,” he whispered, “I’m here.”
“Do you have a minute to talk?”
“Mmm hmmm,” he answered. He didn’t sound enthusiastic, but he was still on the phone.One victory at a time.
“I am very sorry about Chad picking up my phone when you called. It must have been horrible for you. If it’s any consolation, Chad is sick over it too,” I explained. “I lost my phone and had to get a new one. He was setting it up for me. That’s all it was.” I needed to take a breath and slow down. I was nervous, and most likely rambling. All I heard was silence from the other end. “You still there?”
“Yes. I’m still listening.”
“And...” I asked.
“And, what do you want me to say?” he said.
“I want you to say that you know I could never replace you so easily with someone else. I want you to say you love me. I want you to know that I love you. I miss you, Lucas. I want to understand what happened to us. I want you... to be mine.” The words gushed forth. They were true words, and I meant every single one of them. “Please talk with me.”
“Of all people to be hanging out with, it had to be Chad? What am I supposed to think, Perry?”
“It’s not like that. Chad is my friend. I don’t feel about him the way I do you. I’m calling because I don’t want to move on with my life without you. We can work on things. I can listen, Lucas. I messed things up with my pressuring you to move. I was wrong about that.”
“I wasn’t being forthcoming about stuff either. It wasn’t all you, Perry. I was frightened about you, about us.”
“So, you’re saying there’s anus. It’s not too late?”
“If you’re saying you and Chad are just friends, then I believe you. It was never about trust with us.” He paused for a moment, and I heard the dinging noise from the gas station lanes. “I’m not good at love, Perry. Sometimes I think it’d be best if you just let me go. I don’t seem to be able to keep love in my life.”
“I don’t want to let you go. I don’t want anyone but you. Do you have to get that customer I just heard?” I asked.
“No, Mr. Howard has it.”
“I love you, Lucas. I want to be with you, and I know we have our differences. We live in two worlds, I get that, but I don’t want to be in mine without you.” I heard a soft sob on the other end of the call. “I mean it. You are what I want. I never should have left without making sure you knew that.”
“Really? You’re sure? You want me?” I heard him let out a sob. “For sure?” He was crying. I was crying.
“I am positive. And I want you to know that Chad has been pushing me to be better... for you. He knows I love you.”
I hadn’t anticipated his next words. “Can you come get me then?”
Had I heard him correctly? “Come get you? You’re serious? Like come down there andgetyou? Bring you back with me?”
“Yes, I want to be with you. It doesn’t matter where anymore. I’ll live anywhere if it’s with you. We can figure out what’s next, later. I’m choosing to risk my heart to be with you. I know I want that chance now.”
We spoke for quite a while, sharing our pain and misery at being separated. We exchangedI love you’s, over and over. Both of us were thankful to be rediscovering each other and to be planning to meet up. I offered to fly him up to New York, but he asked if I could come down first so he could share some of his family history with me. He said he was eager to have me know all his family secrets and he needed help closing out his life in Beaufort. I mentioned that I could hire a private jet and fly down immediately. Hell! I could be there in six hours if he wanted, but he reminded me that maybe we could be a bit more reserved, perhaps more like normal people. I knew what he meant. He was right. I could learn and he could learn. We could meet halfway, merge our lifestyles. I knew we could build a future together.
I placed my cell phone on the nightstand and reached for Jack’s photo again.Thank you, Jack.I found the other half of the heart. It and him are waiting for me in Beaufort, South Carolina, just like the journey revealed. A boy, a gas station, a beach, and me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: Lucas
No matter how much I tried to ignore it, I had to take a piss in a big way. I knew better than to drink too many Pepsis before going to bed. If there was one complaint I had about my attic apartment, it was the fact that I had no bathroom up here. I hated the trek downstairs and into the station, but there was no holding it this time. I tapped my cell phone to check the time. It was five forty-five in the morning. Mr. Howard would be here soon to open up at six.
I pulled on a sweatshirt and headed down the outdoor stairs attached to the station. I was only in my boxers, but I could go around the back and avoid being seen. I got to the back lot and realized I’d left my keys upstairs. I groaned and headed back up quickly. At this rate, I should just take a piss behind the station. The only reason I didn’t was because I lived here and that was gross, even for a guy.
I dug through the pockets of my jeans that were still on the floor next to the couch I slept on. While I was fishing for my keys in the dark room, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.Clint? This early?My door was open, so I quickly stood up and slid against the wall, hiding in the dimly-lit room. A dark figure stood in my doorway. The shape was large and had a hoody pulled over his head. He stood gazing into the room, turning his head from side to side as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. This was not Clint. The unfamiliar person was not as muscular as Clint, and he was taller in stature. His hand reached out and pushed the door open wider. I froze in place.
“There you are faggot.” He walked toward me. I could barely make out his features as he closed in on me. I heard the door slam shut.
“Get the fuck outta here. I’ll call the cops if you don’t leave.” I kept my voice low and measured.
He looked past me. “With what, Jenson? Your cell phone’s on your sofa, faggot.”
