Page 31 of Letters Book Two
“I’d like to think I would have. He never gave me the chance to, ma’am.”
“Knowing Lucas, he was afraid owning and working at a gas station wasn’t grand enough for someone like you.”
“It’s not like that, ma’am,” I defended. “I hope you don’t see me that way. I’m working hard on being less self-absorbed.”
“Doesheknow that, Mr. Jackson? Did you tell him you approved?”
“Well, not exactly, to be honest with you.”
“He’s young, Perry. He needs your approval. He loves you and admires your success. He’s intimidated by it. Surely you know that? Who wouldn’t be? You’re a successful multi-millionaire.”
I needed to change the subject. I knew she was trying to make sure I understood the boy I’d fallen in love with. She wanted to give me an edge, a leg up. I admired her insight and her desire to see Lucas experience good.
“When did he lose his mother?” I asked, reeling at being told Lucas was afraid he didn’t deserve me. I hadn’t fully embraced his desire to be successful on his own. I had been selfish because I had all the money, why would he need any? I could provide all we would ever need. I had missed his need to be valued in our relationship. I loved his independent streak, but it appeared I was quashing it as well.
She answered my previous question. “December last year. The eighteenth to be exact. I remember because Ed’s birthday is the same day. Lachen died a few weeks before that I think.”
“December eighteenth,” I whispered. She didn’t hear me, but the date hadn’t escaped me. My Jack died on the eighteenth last year. Chad’s boyfriend, David, died the exact same day. I was caught in a weird universe and these coincidences were freaking me out.
“Why are you telling me all this, ma’am?”
“It’s simple, Mr. Jackson.” She sat forward in her seat. “As you can see, I’m an old woman. A widow now. I do not plan on sitting around and watching my grandson go without anymore.” She adjusted the blanket covering Lucas and fussed with the hair hanging over his eyes. “I’m his grandmother now and I have a duty to make sure he’s happy.”
“I hate to be insensitive, ma’am, and I know you care for Lucas, but is it your place to tell me all this?”
“Maybe not, but I’ve known this boy his entire life. I knew his momma when she was his age and had to make the difficult decision to keep him and marry a man she didn’t love. I watched a man love him that couldn’t raise him. I watched a man that raised him that couldn’t love him.” She wiped a tear away and adjusted her dress’s collar. “He deserves a chance at someone like you. The day you came into his world was a gift. I watched him fall in love. I saw years of being beaten down fall away from his shoulders. You did that, Mr. Jackson. That was all you.”
“You truly believe that?” I was choking up. “Then why did he let me go, ma’am?”
“Simple! He was afraid you’d do it first. You are too big of a dream for a boy like him. He’s never had ayoubefore. I suspect he never thought he could. You’re a big deal, Mr. Jackson. Don’t you see that?”
“I never thought I would get another chance at love after my husband died, ma’am. Now I’m here thinking my chance is about to die, just like Jack did.” I inhaled deeply and held it, trying to prevent a sob from escaping after that admission. “I’m not that big of a deal, ma’am. Not really.” I turned away and gazed at my broken boy lying silent in a hospital bed.
“You are to him. Lucas is not a dreamer, Perry. He doesn’t know how to dream. Do you even know why he doesn’t dream?”
“No, ma’am.”
“Because it never comes true for him. Every person in his life that he loves, leaves him behind. Just like you did last month.”
“What? He didn’t want me, ma’am. He let me go,” I said, trying to understand her thoughts, but a bit angry at her commentary.
“Do not bullshit me, Mr. Jackson. You’re far too experienced for me to accept that answer. You’ve had great success. You’ve had great love. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect you have a loving family somewhere?” I nodded and squirmed in my seat. “You know better than to think Lucas has your confidence. He needs your love and your guidance, but most of all, he needs you to be there for him. Today and every day from this point on. I’m educating you in areas you couldn’t possibly have known without him sharing it. He doesn’t think he measures up to you. I knew he hadn’t divulged any of this to you because he is afraid of rejection.” She stood from her chair and walked toward me, leaning into my space. “And now, you are going to teach my grandson to dream. Is that understood?”
CHAPTER THIRTY: Lucas
Irecognized the beach. The sounds, the smells, all were familiar to me. I searched for Momma and Lachen to no avail. I had called for Jack, but he no longer answered my pleas. I knew that Momma and Lachen loved me, and now Jack did too, but where had they gone? Jack had held me in his embrace, warmed my skin and entered my heart. I hadn’t met Jack before, but somehow I knew him. Who was he?
There was a new light around me now. I heard different voices, felt different touches. I knew these people. Were they trapped here too? Why were we here? I see you friends. Can you see me?
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: Perry
“Wall Street? Is that you?” I heard a masculine, yet raspy voice from behind the half-open curtain. My back was to the bed that the voice emerged from. Chad was facing me, Lucas between us.
I raised my hand. “Shhh, Chad. Listen.” He’d been humming a sweet melody while helping me bathe Lucas. We both stopped, frozen in wonder. “Did you hear that?” I asked, turning and straining my neck in Clint’s direction.
“Wall Street. Hey, dude, can you hear me?” The man behind the curtain had finally spoken.
Chad stood across from me. A slight smile crept across his face. “He’s awake, Perry. Mr. Bowers is awake.” Chad hurried from the other side of the bed and headed for Clint’s.
