Page 4 of Letters Book Two
“You’re weird. How the fuck do you do that?” I seriously wanted to know by that point.
“Try being in my head, Perry. Itisweird, but I’m right though. When Jack is near me, I get all kinds of fuzzy scenes in my mind. He is speaking to me. I know it as certain as I am sitting here with you.” We were stopped at a railway crossing, several cars back, waiting for traffic to move, so he had all my attention. “He says you’re not listening. More like, not seeing? Missing something important... something along those lines.” Chad’s eyes narrowed. “Do you know what he might be referencing?”
On one hand, I wanted to hear about Jack’s feelings, but it was hard to accept that it wasn’t me that heard him. “I don’t know. I wish I could hear him too. Why doesn’t he do that with me? I miss his voice, Chad.” I tried but failed to stifle a sob.
“Shhh, don’t cry. This is not about sadness, Perry. Let’s look at this positively. I get the impression that Jack thinks you made a mistake leaving where you were. Did you?”
“None of this mumbo jumbo shit can be real, Chad. Jack is dead. I know it and you know it. He doesn’t give a shit about what I’m doing anymore.” My eyes released their pain, and I didn’t care anymore. I bent my torso over the console and wept in his lap while he ran his hands through my hair, shushing me.
Thank God for long trains and empathic friends. “Look at me, Perry. Sit up for a second. Please.” Chad had my shoulder in his grip and tried to get me to sit up. Reluctantly, I gave in and sat back in my seat. I didn’t care that my face was miserable with pain and tears. “Jack loves you, Perry. I know you feel his love. I feel his love and we’ve never even met. It wasn’t by chance that you ended up here with me again, I might add. And no way was it chance that you needed gas at theexactsame exit that my job is located. And... it wasn’t just chance that you came inexactlyat lunch either. Ionlywork lunch shifts because I have morning classes.” He grabbed my chin and moved my face to his. “You starting to see the overabundance of coincidences here? Trust us, Perry. We both love you. But you need to start thinking critically and with a clearer understanding. And don’t ask me how I know that, I just do.”
He had my attention. Part of me thought he was fucking nuts. Part of me said,trust him. Apparently, Jack does.
CHAPTER SIX: Lucas
Iwalked home from the Howards’ house after a delicious dinner and loving support from them both. They were my only support now and I knew I needed them. Their remarkable ability to love me for me and not judge my immortal soul was a refreshing thing for Beaufort.
Main street was dead quiet. It was an eerie feeling to be walking down a deserted, downtown street in the dark. Normally the stores were open, with cars parked along the sidewalk, and people bustling about. The town had that sad vibe where the businesses all knew the tourists had gone home. They would need to tighten their budgets for the lean and quiet months ahead.
There were no kids running around the park, even though it was still considered a summer’s night. Officially summer hadn’t ended but they had school again. No fun for them. No fun for me either. I wasn’t a big fan of fall. Things die, leaves give up and float away, even the frogs get ready for slumber. Nights come earlier and earlier, as if to say,lights out people.
Evenings in September were still warm in the South, and I wanted a cold drink. I supposed I could grab something at the station when I got home, but I had Frosty Freeze in mind. Maybe a nice chocolatey shake would fill the need. But then I realized they started their new winter hours and closed early, until next June. Most other businesses adjusted their winter hours too. It was depressing. I dreaded the idea of going through another winter alone. A few days ago, I had hopes that the coming season would be my best. Perhaps even a wonderful Christmas? I wondered what those felt like. Not anymore.
I explained to the Howards’ what had caused Perry to leave town. I included his concern that he had been here for over three months, and he wanted me to see his world too. He wanted fairness in our relationship. Without judging me, Mrs. Howard said she agreed with him and that I should consider whether he may be correct about fairness. She explained that all new relationships are about reaching compromise and learning about our partner’s needs and sharing ours with them as well. I’d had such a horrible example of marriage growing up and hoped that it didn’t mean I couldn’t have a good relationship in the future.
They also encouraged me to contact Perry and see where we were going forward. Would he be open to trying and would I be open to giving his lifestyle a chance? Mr. Howard said he could manage the station for a week or so if I needed to follow after Perry. He expressed that he wanted to give me every chance for happiness, even if that meant losing me to the big city. They made good points and I knew I should listen to them. Let’s face it, they had over fifty years of marital experience.
I came around the corner and jaywalked across Main Street to the gas station’s side of the road. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that the side of the park that faced the station was not empty. Clint Bowers was seated in his backed-up truck, facing the station, and he spotted me. I heard his door open, and he stepped to the front of his truck and watched as I made my way to the station’s drive. He said nothing as he watched me make my way to the side stairs. Normally I would have waved or said hello, but he looked out of sorts, so I decided to avoid him tonight.
I took the stairs two at a time and hustled to unlock my door. Once inside I relocked the door, sliding the chain lock too for added safety. I left the lights off and walked across the room to look out the small window to see if he had left or not. I slowly pulled an edge of the curtain to the side and peeked out and across to the park. The truck was still there, but no Clint anywhere near it.Are you inside the truck, Clint?I squinted and put my hand over my brow. The station’s halogen lights were very bright. I couldn’t tell whether he was back inside the pickup or not.
Then came a loud knock at my door. I nearly jumped out of my skin, banging my knee on the window ledge. I limped my way to the door, rubbing my aching kneecap, knowing it had to be him. There was no peephole in the door, so my only choice was to ignore him or open it. “It’s Bowers, Jenson. Can we talk?” I stood in silence. Did I open the door or hope he’d go away? Was I afraid of Clint? I had no reason to be, but he had been creepily stalking my place for a few weeks. He had previously stopped this behavior after our last talk and before Perry came to town, but he had recently begun again.
“What do you want, Clint? I’m tired. It’s been a long day and I need to sleep.”
“I need to talk with you, Lucas. Five minutes tops, please.” I had goosebumps on my arms and something telling me not to open the door. “Come on, Lucas. Open up.”
I unlocked the doorknob and slid the chain off. Knowing what I did about Clint’s build, a cheap lock and chain wouldn’t have stopped him if he wanted in bad enough. I cracked the door and peered out. It was definitely him. Big and muscular Clint Bowers. His frame made the door seem small.
He pushed his way in, nearly knocking me on my ass. “Uh, come in?” I said, shocked at his abruptness.
“You ok, Lucas? Anyone else here?”
“I’m fine. What the fuck are you doing?” He glanced around the single room that I called home. “Nobody but me.” I raised my arms in capitulation. “Were you looking for someone?”
“You haven’t been home the entire night, but your truck is out back.” He struggled to catch his breath, his eyes wide with hysteria. “Your lights were off, and I haven’t seenWall Streetpick you up in a coupla days.” He was nervous or agitated, maybe both? I couldn’t tell which.
“You following me, Clint? And who the fuck isWall Street?” I asked, hoping he’d assist me with all the mysterious behavior.
“Your fancy boyfriend, your lover, whatever he is to you. Where is he by the way?”
“Hewasmy boyfriend. He left to go home.”
“Go home? Like,forever, go home?” Clint made his way back to my side. He had concerned eyes and a questioning look on his face. “Why’d he do that?”
“We broke up, Clint. Shit happens.”
“Broke up? Damn! Why’d you let him go, Jenson. He makes you happy, doesn’t he? Shit! I can’t have him gone now. I don’t have the time to watch you full-time.” Clint sat on one of my dining-table chairs and put his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes.
