Page 13 of Missile Tow
“You willed me?” I asked. “Maybe I could’ve ignored you?”
He smiled and shook his head. “Not likely, son,” he began. “This is the sorta thing you do. You rescue us old folks. You get cats outta trees, and you give a shit. It’s your role in this town.”
I’d heard talk about my reputation around town, but confirmation from him made my heart swell even if it was broken. I did care. I did love my community. I suppose it’d only be natural that some folks would take note.
“Just being neighborly,” I grunted, embarrassed that he was still staring at me.
By now, Mr. Jenkins had his arms crossed and was studying me carefully. He had wrinkles that lined his face deeper than any canyon in Arizona. His silver hair was messy and maybe three weeks past a trim at Hank’s barbershop. But one could easily see he’d been a looker in his day.
My gramma used to tell stories about what a heartbreaker he was as a younger man.“All us girls had mad crushes on Michael Jenkins,”she’d admitted.“Each and every one of us was convinced we’d be the gal to land him. No one ever did.”
“I absolutely knew you’d run over and help an old geezer like me.”
“You did, did ya?” I dared. “You just up and figured I’d scurry over and save your old ass?”
“I knew you would, Chip,” he confirmed. “You’re good folk.” I waved him off and took a step up the ladder. He grabbed my elbow, and I looked down at him. “Step off for a sec, son.”
I stepped off the ladder and stared into a worried face. Thoughts that he was about to admit something frightened me.Did he need my help with something serious? Was he ill? Did he know something I didn’t know?
“You okay, Mr. J.?”
“Yep. I am,” he answered. “My shoulder hurts when temps get this low, but I’ll live another winter. But you ain’t okay.”
“Sure I am,” I argued. “I’m just fine. A bit busy, but fine just the same.”
He placed a hand on my shoulder. “I know how it feels, Chip,” he said. “To lose someone you think you can’t live without.”
The tears filling his eyes caused mine to well up right along with his. His mouth tightened, and the slightest shudder crossed his chest. Whatever orwhoeverhe was speaking about was present in his mind that very instant.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’ve lost plenty of folks lately. I guess I’m a tad melancholy this time of year.” I added.
“I’m aware of your losses. But can you humor me and let me narrow it down for ya?” he asked. I nodded and shuffled on my feet, snow collecting on both our heads as we stood there. “You and John,” he began. “You loved that boy, didn’t ya?”
His question required no response. Apparently, he knew more than I’d given him credit for. But then again, most folks knew what John and I were to each other. We didn’t keep our love a secret. Like I’ve said, we didn’t have pride stickers on our trucks, but we were a gay couple.
“I envied you two boys,” he admitted. “Both of ya so lovestruck and good for one another. I was countin’ on ya to make it for the long haul.”
“I was too,” I whispered, feeling the noose tighten around my throat as the words fought to come out.
“Some folks can’t stay in a town like this forever, son,” he continued. “We’d like ’em to. We pray they’ll be as happy aswe are, but sometimes the draw for something more pulls them away.”
“Maybe. But like me, John was born and raised here,” I mumbled. “I figured he’d stay for sure.”
“Same with my Paul,” he said, locking eyes with me and making sure I heard the name he’d spoken correctly. “He wasn’t born here, but he did stop in one day and stayed for damn near twenty years.”
“When was this?” I asked. “You’re… you were… you are… gay?”
He nodded. “I’ll deny it if you rat me out. I figure some folks might be knowing that fact, but I ain’t comfy with admitting it.”
“I sure as heck didn’t know,” I admitted. “All I know is Granny used to tell me how all the girls wanted to land you as a husband,” I added, chuckling at the memory of my grandmother talking Mr. J. up and pissing Grampa off.
“I wasted my life, Chip,” he confessed. “I surely did. Paul asked me to leave Missile more than once over those twenty years. I just wouldn’t budge.”
“He left?”
“He did,” he replied, tugging on his jacket’s sleeves. “He wanted more than living a secret life. While he longed to disclose the truth about our relationship, I feared we’d be killed for being two men in love if we stayed and came out. Plus, I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving this town I love so much.”
“John and I weren’t living a secret, though. We were both from here, and people knew about us. I thought we were both comfortable and content to have each other.”
