Page 76 of Missile Tow
“Pretty shitty move on my part,” he owned up. “But I had nowhere else to go.”
“So you figured you’d be welcomed here?”
“No. I knew I wouldn’t be welcome here,” he replied. “Truthfully, I’m amazed you agreed to it.”
I shot him a nasty glare. “I didn’t,” I stated flatly, jacking my thumb over my shoulder. “Van is too nice to folks. That, and he has an inability to tell people to fuck off.”
“Is that whatyouwanted to say?”
“Amongst other things.”
“I met Van before last night,” he revealed, smartly shifting away from the topic I wanted to discuss. “It took a year for us to meet, even though we were just down the hall from one another. Did you know that?”
“I heard some of the story. Crappy thing you two made him endure,” I said. “Van deserved better.”
“You’re right. He did.”
I wanted to ream John a new asshole. The desire to make him understand how much I hurt consumed me with rage as he sat in my home, speaking bullshit in his casual conversational tone.
“You’re a real gem, John.”
John fixed his eyes on me and then heaved a sigh. “Go on,” he whispered. “Give it to me, Chip. Remind me of every horrible thing I did to you. Let me hear what an asshole I am. What a spineless fuck I was to you. I’m right here in front of you. Now’s the time. So go ahead. Let it out.”
I stood up scowling. “You aren’t worth it.”
“You’re right.”
I stepped closer, towering over his seated position. “Then why the fuck are you even here?”
“To tell youmytruth,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair. “I know you, Chip. You need reasons for shit. You can’t let go of anything until you have the reasons.”
“Bullshit!” I hissed, walking to the kitchen window.
“See?” he asked. “You don’t wanna talk, so off to the kitchen window you go. Just like always.”
I spun around. He stared back at me, appearing as smug as fuck. “Fuck you, John.”
“My point exactly. Shut down when you don’t wanna hear the truth.”
“Go ahead and enlighten me then,” I hissed, yanking a chair from under the table and plopping my pissed-off ass on it.
“Remember when your folks were killed?”
“Just shut up about that,” I stated. “You don’t know shit.”
“You needed a reason back then, too. And then your grampa died of old age. You needed a reason.”
“Of course, I fuckin’ needed a reason. I was devastated, John.” Waking Van up with my yelling was not on my agenda until I spoke my mind with John, so I scooted the chair closer to him. “Go on, wiseass,” I hissed. “Give me a fuckin’ reason to throw your ass out ofmyhouse.”
“An accident killed your folks, Chip. They adored you and were great parents, so I get your grief. And Grampa died because he was old. That’s all it was. He was old.Christ, you were barely an adult and instantly thrust into a family business that there was no way you’d allow yourself to fail at. You busted your ass while your life got put on the back burner.”
“Of course, I busted my ass. What does that even mean?” I hissed.
“You already know,” he rebutted.
“The hell I do.”
“You forgot aboutme,” he whispered, choking up and pausing before continuing. “All you cared about was how the town felt about your response to the awful shit that happened to you.Youhad to be the hero.Youwould not fail the memory of your family…. or that goddamned mercantile.”
