Page 78 of Missile Tow
“Trust me, he swept me off my feet.”
John nodded, seeming to understand. “Evan painted him as a dreamer and a person who believed in fantasy and childish things. As it turns out, that’s actually funny. After spending a year with Evan, I’m amazed Van’s spirit wasn’t crushed.”
I wished I’d felt bad about John’s experience with the guy he left me for, but I didn’t. His admitting Evan was a creep only validated what I’d managed to squeeze from the very little information Van revealed about his ex.
“Van is all the things Evan told you he was,” I shared. “Plus, he’s loving and smart. He sees the world differently than most of us, and at first… well, I wasn’t sure what to think.”
“And now?” he encouraged. “How do you feel now?”
“I’m not sure I feel comfortable telling you.”
My unexpected desire to show respect to John found me cautious in explaining what had happened to me in two short weeks. I wanted to be protective of Van while also not sounding boastful to John.
“Go ahead,” he urged. “Sing your praises. I’m a big boy.”
“To start. I’m already in love with him. And I doubt I can do justice explaining how meeting him has affected me,” I acknowledged, feeling my face heating up. “Counter to what Evan may have told you, Van is mature while also being otherworldly. Sure, he’s childlike at times, but in a great way. Explaining Van’s personality to you would be too difficult, but I think his joy is related to being in awe over something bigger than all of us.”
“Wow,” he sighed. “He must truly be something because you light up like a Christmas tree when you speak about him.”
The desire to hate John evaporated the more we spoke. I remembered the many reasons he was so important to me. John was calm when I was high-strung. He was gracious when I wanted to be rude. He set better examples than I was capable of living by. John was, in reality, a lot like Van.
“He saved me, John. Honestly, he showed up in Missile and brought me back to life.”
“You can thank me for telling him to skip St. Regis and get gas in Missile.”
I considered his words for a second. “Weird, huh?”
“Yeah, sorta. But then again, according to Evan, right up Van’s alley,” he chuckled. “And trust me, I mean that in a complimentary way. I wish I looked at life the way he does.”
“I’m not gonna lie. Van’s outlook is refreshing,” I admitted. “It may be rubbing off on me.”
“I can tell how he’s impacted you just from listening to you,” he claimed. John stood from the table and joined me near the island. “So now, I’m going to give you another reason I’m here, Chip,” he said, laughing at how he brought our talk back to the beginning. “I know how youlovea good reason.”
“Yeah, whatever!” I exclaimed. “But go ahead, you asshole,” I joked, sliding back into the warm revelry we’d shared as partners and friends.
“Van is here to give you another chance at what you deserve.”
“And what’s that?”
“Love mostly, but also to see yourself as more than the mercantile. More than this town’s savior. Do yourself a favor and ask Van whathewants from a future with you,” he advised. “Because if you want to stay, but he doesn’t see a life in this town, you’re going to lose him, Chip.”
“Like I lost you?”
We locked eyes, both pairs filled with the memory of who we’d been to each other in the past. “Yes,” he said gently. “Andlike I lost you.”
His admission touched me. Hehadmissed me after all. He had thought about me after he dumped me. All the things I’d wished were true had, in fact, been true.
“I’m afraid of life out there,” I confided. “Missile and the store are all I know.”
“Trust me, life away from here isn’t any easier,” he said. “This town, and what you’ve managed to keep running by yourself, is terrific, but if you get that shot to spend your life with the person you love, I’d advise considering it. Don’t let Missile be the reason you lose love again.”
“So you stopped by to tell me all that, did ya?” I teased. “Ya just had to deliver those reasons I needed so fuckin’ much? Is that it?”
He smiled. “That, and I’m sorry, Chip.”
“I appreciate that, John. You’re a bigger man than me.”
“Not anymore, friend. Not anymore.”
