Page 15 of Ashley
She squeezed her arms around herself and turned back to look out at the city that was turning golden in the morning light. "I loved it, Natasha."
"Then, you'll be taking his number?"
Ashley hesitated and bit her bottom lip. "I don't know."
"What don't you know about it?" Natasha asked gently.
Ashley's eyes slid toward her friend then, and there was worry in them. "I don't know if I can trust myself, or him, not to make a mess of it. Last night was amazing, but I can't get our first time and the week after out of my head. It's so much and I felt so, so bad, Natasha, you know that."
Natasha's hand came to her shoulder, and she gently rubbed her arm with a soothing touch. "I know, sweetie."
"What if he drops me again?" Ashley whispered.
"Ah, but what if he doesn't?" Natasha asked, pressing a gentle kiss to her friend's temple. "It can be daunting, and it can be scary, sweet girl, but I promise you that if you go into this with an open mind and heart, you will learn things about yourself you never dreamed of."
Ashley's hands worried the sleep shirt she wore, and she shot Natasha a nervous look. "Was it scary for you with Silas?"
Natasha chuckled and nodded with just a dip of her chin and then gave her friend a wry grin. "It was very scary. That total surrender is frightening. I know what you're worried about."
"But you, I-I mean, Silas never left you like James did me, right?"
Natasha shook her head. "No," she said but then added, "he didn't, but James came back the second I confronted him. He made it right with you, yes?" She turned her emerald green eyes on her, and Ashley nodded.
"He did."
"So then, the question is do you trust him?"
"Should I?"
Natasha tipped her head to the side and weighed her words carefully. "I think if you're willing to explore this side of yourself, James wouldn't be a bad teacher. He's gotten off track, yes, but he's still a good man. One whom I would and do trust."
Ashley nodded and rocked back on her heels. "I'll have to think about it then."
"I'll leave you to it. Come find me soon?" Natasha asked, touching her elbow as she moved away from her and toward the door.
"Of course; I won't be long," Ashley answered, eyes on the coffee cup she was spinning in her hands. Natasha left the room silently, only the door clicking shut behind her letting Ashley know she was truly alone in the room. She had many things to consider. Did she want to know this part of herself? The little girl? That soft and vulnerable side of her personality that she hadn't shown the world?
And if she did, was James the one to help her understand it without breaking her again? Her bottom lip trembled at the thought. She didn't think she could survive the fall this time, if he did.
