Page 7 of Ashley
"It's not like I knew to tell him, either. It's just something that happened, but now I know more about me," she gave him an encouraging smile, "and I'm feeling pretty normal today, I think the, ah, sub drop is over, or the worst has passed at least."
"Good, that's good, Ash." He rubbed the back of his neck and nodded. "It's been hard knowing you've been struggling. I just wanted to fix it."
"And you did. You and Natasha both," she told him and held up the flowers as proof. "You've made me feel so welcome and cared for. Thank you. I can't tell you how much it's meant to me."
"Anytime, Ash."
The pair turned and entered the kitchen where Natasha was busy making breakfast. Her hair was swept up in a messy bun, tied back by a floral headband that added just the right amount of pretty to the denim romper she wore. Her movements in the kitchen were easy and relaxed, and Ashley found herself wishing for just a piece of that for herself. Until Silas, Natasha had never truly relaxed, but here she was, barefoot and humming in her kitchen on a Saturday morning while she flipped pancakes.
Was this what happened when the Daddy stayed? When something lasting and true was nurtured and built together, rather than a single, stolen night? Ashley's chest squeezed tightly when Silas swept his fiancée up into his arms and kissed her cheek. They were adorable, so complementary, and Ashley's thoughts wandered to what he was doing, what the man who had been her Daddy for a night was up to. He'd started her journey to this new self, and now, here she was alone and thinking of him when she most certainly shouldn't be.
She smiled at Natasha, when the redhead met her eyes, and gave an enthusiastic "yes" when asked if she wanted pancakes. She felt more like herself and was happy for it. She was concentrating on how to best arrange the pretty flowers Silas had gifted her with when Natasha asked, "There's a party tonight. Would you want to go?"
"Um…" Ashley looked down and worried her bottom lip between her teeth. She did want to go, but she had only just begun to feel like herself.
"You don't have to if you don't want to," Natasha rushed to say, and a reassuring nod from Silas seconded the sentiment, but something in Ashley rose up in frustration. If she didn't go, she would spend the day pining after a man she'd only spent a handful of hours with, and no matter how much those hours had affected her, Ashley had little taste to sit home on a Saturday night wishing for someone who wasn't there.
"Yes, I'd love to go."
She was feeling normal again, after all. What harm could a party do when she was with friends, and besides, she'd already gone through the worst of it, hadn't she?
There was no way a party could make things worse.
* * *
It took all of two steps and just as many minutes into the party for Ashley to realize that she had vastly underestimated the ambitious nature of the universe, because things could indeed get worse. And that was because, the second she hit the second floor of the Soho building the party was being held in, her eyes landed onhim.
Daddy.
And he wasn't alone.
Her body went rigid at the picture in front of her. He was sitting in a leather armchair, legs spread, and taking up the entirety of the big chair he was leaning back in. He didn't see her, of course, where she stood staring at him like a wide-eyed statute by the loft's entrance. Daddy's eyes were elsewhere, on someone else, and she was beautiful. A petite woman sat in his lap, her head tipped back laughing at whatever he had just told her. She was leaning back against his chest, a chest Ashley had dreamed of laying her head on so many times it was burned permanently into her mind as an almost memory. She swallowed hard, seeing how he had an arm around her waist, one hand splayed possessively across the woman's belly while his other hand toyed with her long blonde tresses. Full lips and big blue eyes rounded out the picture of the woman who looked like she'd stepped straight from the covers of a magazine in her perfectly put together outfit that was far more chic than the tank and floral skirt Ashley had donned. She shifted, self-conscious in the flats, her eyes lingering on the spike heels and long tan legs that would be at home on a dancer. They were both blondes, she and the woman in his lap, but other than that, the woman was so unlike Ashley that it felt like a slap in the face, but that didn't make sense, either. Ashley forced herself to take a few quick steps to the side and put a hand against the wall, working to calm herself and steady her breathing.
She had enjoyed a one-night stand with Daddy,no, not Daddy,he was just a man. A man who was now with another woman because he'd already put their night behind them. What they'd done together didn't carry the same weight with him as it had with her. It hadn't ripped him apart like it had her, and she refused to make a scene or big deal about it.
"He's only a man," she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut. That was it. He wasn't her Daddy or anyone to her. He was just a man who was now looking to spend the night with another woman. An impossibly beautiful woman Ashley desperately tried not to compare herself to, but old habits die hard, and she found herself in the same anxious state that ballet fittings used to put her in.
"Fuck." She shook her head and turned to see Natasha standing beside her with a worried look on her face. "I have to go. I shouldn't have come."
Natasha's eyebrow shot up in surprise. "What's wrong?"
Ashley gave her a weak smile. "I, ah, it's nothing. I just need to go. Sorry." She moved to step away, but Natasha caught her arm.
"Don't be sorry. I'm sorry if I pushed you too soon," she said with a frown.
"No, it wasn't too soon. I just," Ashley shook her head, "things changed."
"Like what?"
Ashley bit her lip, eyes moving toward the leather chair and its couple. "I'll tell you later, okay?"
Natasha rocked back on her heels. She hadn't missed the longing look as Ashley's gaze had just gone across the room, but she knew better than to push her friend.
"All right." She hugged Ashley to her tightly and said, "I'll check in when we leave, okay?"
Ashley hugged her back. "All right. Love you."
"Love you, too," Natasha called after her. She leaned against the wall, tracking Ashley's movements, and felt her chest tighten when she saw her friend pause in the doorway to look back over her shoulder. There was no mistaking the hurt on her friend's face. Natasha looked toward the cause of that expression and she felt her heart stop, because Ashley was staring at a man she knew. A man she had come to know very well, because he was her fiancée's best friend and a man she knew for a fact was a Daddy.
