Page 70 of Sutherland's Secret
“Nothing.” He looked away because he knew she could see all of the unspoken words in his eyes.
Gently she held his chin and turned his face back to her. “It’s not nothing.”
“I love ye, Eleanor.”
Her gaze softened and tears welled in her eyes. “I love you, too, Brice.”
He hugged her tightly to him. “I’ll no’ know what to do without ye,” he whispered into her hair.
Her arms came around him and they held each other tightly, hearts breaking. Until she pulled away and wiped her wet cheeks. They looked at each other, but there were no words to make this right, so they took each other’s hand and walked back to the front of the castle and into the great hall, where Hannah had a hot meal waiting for them.
“Come,” Brice said, standing and holding a hand out after Eleanor had eaten most of her meal. “Ye’re falling asleep in yer soup. ’Tis time for bed.”
She stood and put her hand in his, practically stumbling up the steps. “Do you think they are doing well?” she asked.
“Who?”
“Morna and the baby.”
“Cait is a fine healer, even if she is a Campbell.”
“But by marriage, so that makes it better,” Eleanor said, and Brice smiled.
“Apparently I’ve said that before.”
“A few times.”
They entered his chambers, not even holding to the farce that Eleanor was residing in the lady’s chambers. They had too little time left to mince about. If he could, he would wed her now, but that was impossible for many reasons. First of all, he couldn’t reveal that she was residing here, so he couldn’t tell a priest her real name. Second of all, he wasn’t about to tie her down when they had to be separated in six days.
So he would take what he could get and hold everything in his memory.
She shed her clothes and climbed into the bed naked. She was fast asleep before Brice managed to get his boots off. He curled his body around hers and pulled the blankets up, but it was a long while before he fell asleep. He lay there watching her, running his hand down the silk of her hair and fighting the panic rising every time he thought about saying goodbye to her.
—
Eleanor woke before Brice but lay still, her body tucked up in his arms. He slept deeply, his chest rising and falling, his breathing not quite a snore but edging close to it.
From what she could tell, it was light outside, maybe close to the noon hour. They’d stayed up until nearly dawn.
She thought back to the events of the night, still overwhelmed and awed by what she had done. She’d delivered a baby, brought a little life into the world. Of course, the mother had something to do with it, but it had been Eleanor’s hands that the babe had slithered into, and it had been the most miraculous thing she’d ever seen. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.
She hoped that someday she could bring a child into this world, but she wanted it to be Brice’s. No one else’s. She wanted a son with dark blond hair and sky blue eyes.
Reality came crashing back when she realized they could never be the family she longed for. She loved him so much, and he loved her. How tragic that nothing could come of their love.
He opened his eyes and smiled at her, and she smiled back.
“Heavy thoughts,” he said, his voice rough with sleep.
“Just thinking about last night.”
“The babe was lucky ye were there.” His expression turned stern. “Although ye disobeyed my orders and were no’ at my side like ye were supposed to be.”
“Good thing I wasn’t.”
He grunted, but she could tell he wasn’t as upset as he pretended to be.
“How do you do it?” she asked.
