Page 74 of Sutherland's Secret
She was sitting in the window seat in Brice’s study and looking out over the waves crashing against the back of the castle. This was her favorite place to be. She loved watching the deep gray of the sea and the white foam of the waves.
“How many years have those waves crashed against the castle walls?” she asked, not yet willing to share her deep thoughts.
“Nearly two centuries.”
“And yet the castle still stands.”
“And yet it still stands,” he said.
“Just like the Scottish. They’ve been beaten, but they’ll survive.”
“I hope that to be true,” Brice said.
“I know it to be true. If they have half the courage you do, all of you will survive.”
“Thank ye for yer faith.”
She laid her head against his shoulder and continued to watch the sea.
“I love ye, Eleanor.”
“I love you, too, Brice.”
“I want ye to know that whatever ye decide to do, whether it be sailing off to Canada or going back to yer England, I’ll support ye.”
She looked up at him. “I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid of living all alone in a strange country, and I’m afraid Blackwood is watching my family and waiting for me to return. If he even suspects that I’m aware he created those false documents, then he will kill me.”
“He’s the devil, to be sure, but he’s also just a man. I wish I could go to England with ye to give ye safe passage and ease yer fears.”
“You can’t suddenly run off to England and abandon everyone who needs you here.”
He rubbed his stubbled chin over her head and sighed. “I wish things were different. I wish Icouldrun off to England. I wish the English had never come to Scotland and that I could be free to do as I wish.”
“If the English hadn’t come, we never would have met. I would have stayed comfortable and naive in England, and you would have stayed here.” And she never would have become the woman she was now, much stronger, much more wise.
“Life is funny, isn’t it?” He rested his cheek on the top of her head.
She covered his hand that was resting on her lap.
“We’re riding out tomorrow night,” he said. “Will ye be joining us?”
She chuckled. “Need you ask?”
He leaned down and kissed her on the lips, chasing away her heavy thoughts for the moment, so she could simply enjoy being with him for the little amount of time they had left.
—
“MacLean just rode in,” Lachlan said to Brice later that afternoon.
“On time,” said Brice. He and MacLean had discussed their plans. There were many people to be moved tonight, and MacLean had offered his assistance and that of his men. Brice didn’t like more people knowing of his activities, but at this point he had no choice. He was short on men, and those he did have were weary.
He hoped that the flood of refugees would slow to a trickle, but that wasn’t happening, and he feared that the English presence was going to make things worse in the near future. More and more would be leaving their country for a better life in the new world.
He was bone-weary himself, not having slept well in ages. Eleanor’s predicament weighed heavy on his shoulders. He didn’t want her to go to Canada and he didn’t want her to go to England. He wanted her to stay right here with him, but he knew from experience that he couldn’t force her to stay. He’d done that with his wife, and look what had happened. She’d been miserable and fled at the first opportunity with the first man who had shown her an ounce of compassion. Brice faulted himself for that. At the time he’d laid all the blame at Alisa’s feet, but now he realized that he was to blame as well. He wouldn’t do that to Eleanor. She needed to end this with Blackwood, whether she chose to do it by fleeing to Canada or seeking the help of her family. Either way, she would be free. And he would be miserable.
He put his head in his hands and rubbed his face.
Lachlan wandered off and Eleanor sat across from Brice. Her eyes were dull with her own worries and thoughts, and her lips were pulled down at the corners. He wished her happiness and laughter, but he couldn’t impose those on her by demanding that she stay with him.
