“We got the results from your blood test in,” she says.
“Oh… yeah…” I stammer. I’ve been so busy thinking about the way my life’s falling apart the last few days that I had completely forgotten I went for my annual checkup last week.
“Is everything okay?” I ask, an ominous feeling creeping into my bones. “You don’t usually call me.”
“Well…” she says, almost nervously, and my heart starts to sink.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong,” she says, too quickly. I take a breath and hold it, staring at the crack in the wall that I’ve been meaning to fix for years. “We had to run some extra tests,” she says eventually, “because we noticed something unusual in your hormone levels.”
“Oh,” I say. “Is that bad?” I don’t know enough about medicine to know what to worry about, but the idea of it still makes me nervous.
There’s another weird pause like she’s trying to figure out which words to use to tell me. “No, no, you’ll be fine. It’s just… well… you’re pregnant.”
“I’m what?” I squawk, then clap my hand over my mouth, afraid that I spoke too loudly.
The nurse chuckles awkwardly. “We double-checked, and we can double-check again for you, but this test is very accurate.”
“I’m pregnant,” I say again, mostly to myself.
“If you need someone to talk to about it—” the nurse starts, but I cut her off.
“No, I’ll be okay. Thank you for letting me know.”
She says a few other things about my blood sugar and vitamin D, but I barely hear her. How can I, when I’ve just heard the best news of my life? The most confusing news of my life.
We only spent a few weeks together. Just when I thought he was through with changing my life.
I’m still furious with him, but how can I be angry with the father of my baby? Then, how can I ever forgive him for being the onewho’s going to stop my baby — our baby — from growing up on this island that I love?
My head is spinning. This is good news, isn’t it? I want a family. I want to raise a baby. My child will be loved, no matter what.
I just never expected to have a kid with an absent father.
I’m still sitting in the corner when Lantigua comes in the back, maybe an hour later. “Billie,” he says quietly. “Are you okay?”
I look up at him and realize I’ve been crying. “Yes,” I say, and when he frowns at me, I scrub at my eyes and nod. “No, really. I’m okay.”
And I mean it. I’m getting the family I always wanted. Once my heart stops breaking, I’m going to be over the moon.
I wonder how long that’s going to take.
CHAPTER 25
JACOB
In the end, there was never going to be anything I could do to stop the sale. I marched straight to my lawyer’s office the second I got back, but I had already signed all the paperwork. I had already put everything in motion, so it was too late to pull out now.
It couldn’t be done, they said.What’s done is done. I threw tantrums. I begged. I did everything I could to try and persuade them that I didn’t want the island anymore. But the deed was already written out in my name. The eviction notices were already sent. There was no backing out.
Every night for the past few weeks, I’ve locked myself in my office and tried to see if there’s some legal loophole I could exploit, some way of gifting the land back to those who live there. And it is possible. It will take time, though. What I don’t have right now is time.
What I have is a whole bunch of people who are furious with me for betraying them.
What I’ve lost is my one chance at true happiness.
On the day I get the deed handed to me, I head down to the lawyer’s office and sign the paperwork, my hands and heart numb.