Page 83 of Pack Frenzy
“Only when it matters.”
Her hand coasts down the front of my shirt, stopping at a button. She toys with the edge of it, thoughtful. “Everyone treats you like the steady one,” she says. “Like you don’t need…anything.”
“I need lots of things. Probably more than most,” I say simply.
She looks up quickly, eyes sharp, like she’s memorizing that. “Okay. Then tell me when I miss it.”
“I will.”
We dance through another chorus. She fits under my chin in a way that makes some old ache quiet in the bones.
I imagine for one unguarded second a late fall evening in this same kitchen: pumpkin soup steaming, Rowan kissing her cheek on his way to the toaster, Cassian stealing a piece of breadand getting smacked with a wooden spoon for his trouble, Jess rolling her eyes and laughing, me pretending not to see any of it while seeing all of it. The picture is so clear it feels like it already happened somewhere, once.
We stop dancing without stopping touching. I brush a stray hair off her cheek.
“Rowan told me something else,” she adds after a minute, not looking up. “He said you’re a whole together. That some Omegas didn’t like that.”
My hand stills on her waist. “He told you about the others.”
“Some. Not all the details. Just that—” She looks up, meeting my eyes. “That some wanted you to be separate. Wanted to pick and choose.”
“Yeah.” I dance us through another turn, slower now. “Most Omegas who came after Meredith wanted the Alpha experience. Rowan and Cassian, the protection, the status, the traditional pack structure. I was…” I search for the right word. “Tolerated. The friend who happened to live there. The Beta, who was useful but not essential.”
“That’s bullshit,” she says flatly.
A laugh huffs out of me. “Agreed. But it’s not uncommon. Betas in pack dynamics are often treated as accessories. Support staff. We’re not driven by the same biology, so we’re seen as lesser. Safer, maybe, but lesser.”
“Is that how Rowan and Cassian see you?”
“God, no.” The answer comes fast, certain. “They’d throw themselves in front of a bus for me. But they also know what I bring to the table isn’t the same as what they bring. And for a while, we thought that might be okay—that we could find an Omega who wanted all of us but in different ways. Who needed their Alpha sides but also wanted…” I trail off.
“Wanted what?”
“Someone who listens. Who sees the small things? Who doesn’t lead with dominance but with attention.” I meet her gaze. “Someone who wants to be chosen, not claimed.”
Her breath catches. “Eli?—”
“Most Omegas we met after Meredith wanted to separate us. And when they realized I came with the package, that I wasn’t just going to step aside or play a supporting role, they’d leave. Or they’d stay and freeze me out. Make it clear I was tolerated, not wanted.”
“That’s not—” She stops, recalibrates. “How many?”
“Four serious attempts. A handful of dates that went nowhere.” I keep my tone level, almost clinical. It helps. “One told me outright she’d stay if I left. That she could handle two Alphas, but adding a Beta complicated the vibe.’ Another tried to sleep with me once, like she was checking a box, and then never touched me again. Made it clear that it was charity, not desire.”
Her fingers dig into my shoulder. “Jesus.”
“It’s fine. I’m fine with it.” And I am, mostly. “It taught us that we need someone who wants all of us, not just the parts that make sense on paper. Who doesn’t see me as a consolation prize or a quirk to tolerate?”
She’s quiet for a long moment, just swaying with me. “I don’t see you that way.”
“I know.” And I do. I’ve been watching her, cataloging every interaction, every glance. The way she leans into my space when she’s uncertain. How she ask my opinion like it matters. The fact that she’s here, in my arms, kissing me like she means it. “You see all of us. That’s why this works.”
“I want all of you,” she says, and the words land like a vow. “Even the complicated parts.”
Something hot and bright unfurls in my chest. “That’s a big thing to say, Jess.”
“Good thing I mean it.”
I stop dancing. Pull back just enough to look at her properly. “Say it again.”
