Page 55 of Operation Rescue
He shrugged, letting out a rather embarrassed chuckle. “Long ago but not so far away.”
She drew back slightly. “What?”
“Mr. Edgar’s tree.”
He could tell by her reaction that she’d gotten there immediately. Her eyes widened slightly, and then took on that look again, that of staring into the distance but not seeing what was in front of them right now.
“Even then,” she finally whispered.
His brow furrowed. “Even then?”
She focused on him. “That day…it was a preview, wasn’t it? Of what our life together would be. You taking off on some dangerous task, and me…staying back and being afraid for you.”
“Funny,” he said. “What I remember is you quite logically trying to talk me out of it. For my own sake. To protect me.” He managed a sad smile. “As you’ve always done.”
“You needed someone to cheer you on, not someone too afraid to even face what you were doing.”
He couldn’t stop himself, he reached out then and cupped her cheek. “You smiled and waved me off, even when I could see you were scared. You think acting happy that I was going would have been better?”
“More supportive, maybe.”
“No, Erin. Supportive is letting me go even when you hated the idea, because you know it was what I had to do. What I needed to do, deep down.”
“But—”
“Supportive,” he said, gently cutting her off, “is fighting for me when I couldn’t fight for myself, when I was barely aware of what was happening, and knew only that you were there so it would be okay. Supportive is standing up to medical folks who couldn’t seem to grasp the concept of mutual communication.”
She was staring at him now, and he thought he might never get a better chance to tell her. To tell her what he hadn’t in all the chaos, in all the agony, both physical and mental. Especially in the pain of her finally declaring it was over, she couldn’t take it again.
“If it hadn’t been for you I would have given up, Erin. I would have taken the easy way out. I thought about it, a lot, on those days when every breath, even the slightest movement hurt like such hell. I even figured out a couple of ways to do it, to end it all. But I couldn’t give up, not when you were there, fighting as hard as I was.”
He saw the moisture pooling in her eyes. “But you were the one hurting so much.”
“And you weren’t? It was just different battles, Erin. Different kinds of pain, but no less.”
A tear overflowed and streaked down her cheek. “After all the years together, since we were kids, I should have known.”
All those years, and he thought he’d known her pretty well. But apparently not as well as he thought, because he couldn’t read her now, just as he’d never been able to understand how she could have just walked away.
“Should have known…what?” he finally asked.
“I should have known what I was getting. That you’d never change. That you’d always be what you were—a hero, a fighter for what you believed in.”
“Erin—”
“I should have let you go long ago, so you could find someone who was tough enough.”
He reached out and tilted her head back with a gentle finger under her delicate chin.
“Only one problem with that. I never wanted anyone else.”
Chapter 28
He’d stunned her into silence. Only the fact that finding Ethan outweighed everything right now enabled her to get moving, and she seized on that. Which, she thought tiredly, was typical.
It had always been Blaine who’d confronted…everything. Including how they felt about each other when they’d been old enough to understand where it would lead. He’d always said it was destined, because they’d been born on the same day, and ended up living across the street from each other. And she’d always believed it, because no one else had ever held an attraction for her.
Especially the kind she felt for Blaine. And, as he’d just said, the kind he felt for her.
