Page 109 of The Duke's Unclaimed Bride
“I did not think you wanted to be bothered,” she scoffed.
“I…” he sighed. “I deserve that.”
He shifted awkwardly, suddenly nervous. Anxiety wasn’t an emotion to which he was accustomed.
“Pushing you away…” he started. “It was selfish. Truly, truly selfish. I believed I was protecting you and Tilly from my darker side, but that was not what I was doing. I was only protecting my own pride.”
Edith nodded slowly, her arms tightening around herself. “You hurt Tilly,” she said. “Frightened her tremendously. She left with me believing you hated her.”
Laurence felt as if someone had just punched him in the chest.
“Tilly never deserved that. We both know how loving and sensitive she is. If she were to never forgive me…” he trailed off,feeling nauseous at the thought. He took a long, deep breath. “I would deserve that. It was my fault.”
Edith did not respond.
“The instant I learned that she was unwell, I couldn’t find it in myself to stay away any longer. The thought of you both being away from our home, away from my resources, and with Tilly being so unwell…” Laurence choked up. “I was so scared. For both of you.”
He hated how his voice cracked. He was so used to being domineering and in control. Being vulnerable felt foreign, daunting.
“You were scared?” she asked.
He winced at her cold tone.
“Dreadfully so,” he admitted.
“I didn’t think you would be.”
“Why?”
Then, he froze as he recalled his heartless words. He had said they were just an arrangement. Of course, she wouldn’t expect him to be worried.
“I was,” he said. “I may have been selfish and cruel, but I am still your husband and Tilly’s father.”
“You are not acting like her father,” Edith retorted. “You made her believe you didn’t want her in your life.”
“I did,” he whispered. “I said I didn’t need her. She should have never heard those words fall from my lips, out of anger or otherwise. I’ve hurt you both in unforgivable ways.”
Edith’s hands clench into fists at her sides.
“And to you… I called our intimacy a mistake. I denied you the love and care you so badly deserve. If you had said those things to me, it would have shattered me. I don’t deserve to be forgiven for my callousness. I had no right to lie to your face. I do not believe that any of what we had was a mistake,” he continued, his tone now pleading and plaintive.
Edith cleared her throat. “This isn’t the first time you’ve hurt us,” she whispered.
His eyes found hers, and he could see the deep hurt and sadness in them. “I know,” he sighed.
“Am I expected to keep living through this cycle with you?”
“No one should be expected to do that.”
“You say that, and yet you keep doing this,” Edith snapped.
“You’re right.”
“You can’t just keep appearing only when it suits you,” she added.
The bitterness in her voice hurt more than he wanted to admit.
He stepped toward her, and she looked up at him. He was close enough to reach out and hold her, but it wouldn’t have been right. He wasn’t deserving of that honor.
