Page 21 of Lucky Boys
Brooks’s face went blank, and I thought for sure he was going to tell me off, say I had no right to tell him a damn thing. But instead, he shrugged. “I can’t. Every time I close my eyes, I see Diego’s face when the perimeter alarms went off. If Wes wasn’t there . . .” He trailed off, but he didn’t need to finish.
My stomach soured, and suddenly I wasn’t in the mood for coffee. I wasn’t expecting such vulnerability from him, especiallytoward me. Brooks had been doing his best to keep a wall between us.
I studied him. He stood a few feet away from me, his arms down, hands flexing. He clearly hadn’t meant to share that, and he stared at me with a challenge in his eyes. He was daring me. But for what, I wasn’t sure. Did he think I’d say he was weak? That he couldn’t handle this? Fuck, we all had nightmares, and we had much more experience in this type of situation than Brooks did.
I took a step toward Brooks, hand outstretched. His body stiffened, and I immediately dropped my arm like it was a fucking hot coal. Fuck.
“We’ll get through this,” I said instead. “I swear, Brooks. We’ll figure out who’s responsible for this and won’t stop until you and Diego are safe.”
His tongue fiddled with his lip ring as he thought. “I shouldn’t be asking you for that. This isn’t on you.”
I frowned and leaned back against the counter just to have something to do with my hands. “You’re not asking. I’m offering. Let me help you, Brooks. This is what I do.”
The stillness that seemed to hold him captive broke, and Brooks started to pace. “Not for free.”
Huh? I couldn’t even begin to follow his train of thought. Yeah, we usually got paid for jobs like this, but he was out of his fucking mind if he thought I’d accept money from him or Diego.
I didn’t get to clarify because he kept talking. “And there’s no way I could even begin to pay whatever ridiculous fee you probably charge. Especially now that I doubt I’ll ever get the money for that job. It was supposed to pay for Pops’s physical therapy and medical bills, and now I’ll have to find another way to get the money, but I can’t exactly take a job when I have fucking hitmen breaking into my home, and now we’re even more indebted to you, and . . .”
“Brooks.” He stopped midsentence and spun on his heels to face me. He met my eyes, pupils dilated as he sucked in a breath.
I hadn’t meant to use that tone on him. I had no right to use my Dom voice. He’d made that perfectly clear, but it had sort of just happened, because I had no idea how else to stop his rambling.
Brooks’s lips parted, but no sound came out. He just stood there, waiting . . .
From the second I stepped forward, I knew it was wrong. Brooks was in a strange place and our relationship was strained at best. There were so many better ways to handle the situation. But all I could focus on was his lips and his little, raspy breaths that went straight to my cock, or how his blue eyes seemed to get brighter the more strongly he felt, or how he was the perfect mixture of vulnerability and strength. All I could think wasdo his lips still taste the same?
I was on him before he realized what was happening. He staggered back a step, taken off guard, but my hand around his neck steadied him and my lips met his. Brooks gasped, shocked, his body frozen, and then he relaxed, melted into the kiss honestly. His hands clutched at my shoulders. My fingers on my other hand curled into his hair, still just as soft and thick as last time, and yes, he still tasted faintly of vanilla, and leftover spaghetti, but that was so Brooks that it had me deepening the kiss, desperate for a little more and . . .
Brooks shoved against me, pushing me away. He looked . . . Well, he looked amazing with flushed cheeks and swollen lips. The curls in the back of his head were sticking up from where my hand had held him . . . and then I met his eyes and he seemed completely broken.
Fuck. “Brooks, I—” I didn’t even know where to begin.I shouldn’t have done that? It was a mistake?No, I wouldn’t insult him by saying that again. His expression last time I’d saidthose words still haunted me.I’m sorry? I should have asked?I opened my mouth to say something, anything to get him to stop staring at me like that, but Brooks shook his head, stopping me in my tracks.
“We’re not doing this,” he snapped, his tone shrill and a little panicky. I reached out to touch him, but he pushed my hand away.
“Brooks, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking—”
“You were my first. Did you know that?”
I blinked, unable to process his words. “Your first?” His first what? It wasn’t making sense.
Brooks rolled his eyes. “God, Luca. You were my first everything! I lost my virginity that night to you. But you were also my first fucking kiss, my first blow job, my first real introduction into kink. All of it. And yeah, it probably wasn’t fair to you. I know you didn’t know that, and I let you believe I was more experienced than I was. Which, I really am fucking sorry for. But never in a million years did I expect you to just walk out on me at 3 in the fucking morning without even a second glance. You never even checked on me the next day. You know how fucking hard I dropped, man? And I had no one but Diego to help me through it. My fucking touch adverse brother who had to google his way through it all. So yeah, I know it’s been three years, and yeah, I know you had no idea what you did to me. You couldn’t possibly know, and I don’t blame you for that. But I can’t . . . I fucking can’t let myself go there anymore. It took me a long time to get comfortable enough to even fall into subspace again. You broke me, Luca. It might not have been intentional, but you did. So unless you really want to work to put the pieces back together, I need you to stay the fuck away.”
I stood there, my world shattered. Everything I thought I knew had detonated, and I had no clue how to start to fix thedamage. I’d been his first? The guilt hit me harder than ever and I couldn’t fucking breathe. What the fuck had I done?
Something in Brooks’s eyes flashed, but I was way too gone to begin to make sense of it. “I’m going to check on Diego.” Then, Brooks sprinted out of the room, leaving me alone, and I collapsed to my knees, and a sob escaped me.
CHAPTER 10
DIEGO
The first thingI noticed when I started to wake up was that it felt like someone had hammered a thousand nails into my head at the same time and was still pounding away. The room was dark, but it still hurt to open my eyes, so I just lay there with them squeezed shut and waited . . . hoping that the splitting headache would magically go away.
That was why I hated taking the pills. I always woke up feeling like I’d drunk a fifth of vodka and then an entire bottle of tequila on top of it. And I didn’t fucking drink, so it sucked.
The second thing I noticed, the one that had my eyes flying open despite the pain and sitting up in a panic, was that I wasn’t in my own bed. My heart was beating like a jackhammer and I could feel my throat closing up millimeter by millimeter as the fear overtook me.
“Hey, D, you’re okay. You’re safe. It’s Brooks. We’re the only ones in the room. No one else. The door is locked. We’re at Luca’s, remember?”
